Year Flashback

I’m usually not one for making New Years resolutions or doing one of those whole Year In Review type posts. They’ve always seemed so trite to me since we’re marking a new calendar year every twelve months. It’s not like it’s some once in a lifetime type event. Plus, I know myself better then to proclaim to the world on January first that I’m going to go to the gym four times a week or cut back on my daily alcohol intake. It’s basically setting yourself up for unavoidable failure and I’ve always found life is a bit sweeter when you can eliminate as much unnecessary disappointment as possible. That being said, I figured what the hell and decided to take a look back on 2005 and what 2006 has to offer.

I hate making realistic plans. I use the term realistic plans because I’m all for daydreaming and imagining what I’d do if some unexpected event happened, such as a plague killing 99% of the population or being given the chance to make contact with a previously unknown race. Those I know will never happen and yet they are fun to think about. But try and get me to plan what I’m going to do for the next week, let alone year, and I cringe.

Plans never turn out like you plan them to. They always go awry, usually in the most unexpected way possible so that even had you planned for ever imaginable scenario, you’d still be amazed when you looked back and saw how far off course you’d gotten. Like the Chinese say, there are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same. So there’s no need for specific plans, but instead spend your time trying to figure out what you want to ultimately accomplish. As long as you’ve got that in sight, everything else just seems to fall into place.

And yet I find that I make plans all the time. This time last year, I had a Master Plan. I knew what I wanted to do, I knew how I was going to do it, and nothing could stop me. And yet here I sit, 12 months later, amazed at how much I deviated from what I had in mind. My goals and desires completely shifted and I can’t help but wonder, come 2007, will I be thinking the same about what I have in mind today?

For starters, 2005 saw the collapse of my journal process, which to most people means absolutely nothing, but to me is monumental. In some aspects of my life, I am amazingly anal and I hate that fact with a passion. My journal and how I went about writing it every night was one of the biggest meticulous feats I went through every day. And then in February I found that I hadn’t written in it for a week. By June, I was a month behind; now, three months. I’m slowly going back and filling in the gaps, but the pure fact that I let it get to this point proves that maybe one day I’ll be able to break some of these habits of mine that I detest.

I’m sure people are sick of reading the word “Australia” on here, but when talking about 2005, there’s no way around it. Sure, I was only there for four months or so, but the impact it had on me was monumental. I almost feel as if I came home a different person and I honestly have no idea why. So many little things about me changed, for better or worse, and truth be told I’m still discovering some of the changes.

For instance, remember one of the first posts I made when I came back to the states talking about the things I’d give up to go back to Australia? Well, at the time, I said I would have ditched watching baseball in order to go back. Well, I’d say I’m one step beyond that now in the fact that I no longer live and die by the Mariners and Packers. Before, when Seattle or Green Bay were knocked out of the playoffs / didn’t even make it, I’d literally be in shitty mood for a good week or two. Now? Not so much. Sure, this is small and insignificant in the great realm of things, but for me, it’s simply strange to see the shift in myself. And there are hundreds more that I won’t even bother detailing here, but that happened all thanks to that island out in the middle of nowhere.

Then there’s the bloody obvious. My undergraduate years came to a completion in August. I still don’t know how I honestly feel about that. It’s not like school is over for me – grad school will come eventually, followed by another few years after that I’m sure. But for now, I’m not attending classes regularly for the first time in my life since I used to watch Sesame Street daily. At dinner tonight, I looked at Juls and Clay and then started laughing when I realized they had school tomorrow. Me? I get to sit around and write all day. This is most certainly the life.

And speaking of sitting around all day, I’ve been here in Virginia for a little over four months as well. It’s one of those times where you don’t realize something until you sit down and add it up and then scrunch your face all tight and go, “Huh? Have I really been here that long? Damn….”

And how could I forget last January? For the Internet junkie that I am, it’s a miracle it took me so long before finally meeting somebody like Andy. I say that because before meeting him, I’d only known him on-line, hence making him the first person I’d ever met having previously known them only via the Internet. I’ve just always thought that was kinda cool.

So what the hell should I expect from 2006? Well, some more time in Virginia for starters, which is actually a good thing. I surprise the hell out of myself when I say I’m loving it up here. I just never thought I’d enjoy living at home again, but what with the kids keeping me young and laughing at things with my mom, I find the days up here seem to just fly by. But what else might go down this year?

Who the hell knows. And that’s the beauty of it – I’ve got no idea what might happen this year and I’d be retarded if I tried to predict it. Just as long as I stay happy and accomplish some of these goals I’ve written down over the past few months, I’ll be satisfied. And with that said, I’m off to work on one of them. Enjoy 2006 folks.

One reply on “Year Flashback”

  1. I am also of the mind that I’ll just let things happen this year. To use a cliche – I’m going to go with the flow.

    I have certain things that I’d like to see happen, but I don’t want to plan it all out to the most inane detail because I know, as you said, it isn’t going to happen the way I plan.

    Here’s hoping you have a great ’06!

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