Shyzer.com

I can’t fathom the idea that my friends are starting to get married. It always seemed to be one of those concepts that you always heard of, but never really encountered. Marriage, Family, Careers, etc. I’d like a family one day, probably marriage, never a career. But I’m 21 and right now, none of those are on the horizon for me and I just always assumed everybody else my age was the same way.

So with that said, I find it hard to believe that the group of friends I grew up with has now entered the “Marriage” stage of life. Yet low and behold, it’s officially begun. I was asked tonight to be a groomsman in one of my good buddies wedding this summer and I quickly accepted. Not because I’ve known him since the 4th grade or since he was the very first kid to be nice to me at my new school. No, I’m looking at something more valuable here. I want the coveted Wedding Sampler Crown. To date, I’ve already been a ring bearer, a cameraman, and a guest. After this one, all that’s left is the priest and, well, the groom.

But in all seriousness, congratulations bro. I couldn’t be happier for ya. And thanks for asking me to be a groomsman, because you know what that means. Hellooooooooooooo Bridesmaids!

Is anybody surprised that I’m still here in Virginia? Seriously, anybody? I didn’t think so. My plans for leaving yesterday fell apart when I didn’t roll out of bed until 2:30. My plans for leaving today fell apart when I kept saying “Eh, I’ll leave within the next hour. Now let’s go play some more video games Colton!” So as of now, I’m leaving tomorrow. I swear. The truck is packed, I’ve got a bag of homemade cookies ready to go, and I am forcing myself to leave. Seriously. I mean it this time. Clay is actually going to ride down with me because he doesn’t want me to have to make the drive alone (Sidenote: See Waynus, that is what a true brother would do! You bitch and moan about maybe having to make the drive with me and Clay goes out of his way so that I don’t have to be alone for eight hours. I’m just saying. End Sidenote) We’re staying in Spartanburg for a day before making our way back to Columbia where he’ll stay with me until Sunday.

Speaking of Sunday, the Packers first playoff game is then at 4:30 EST. Now that I think about it, I might have to take Clay to the airport sometime during then…this could prove to be a problem.

I honestly would probably stay in Virginia for another week or so since all my stuff is here and I can work from this computer, but I actually have business to attend to in Columbia. You see, Andy is coming into town until Tuesday and I want to make sure we hang out for a while. Why? We’ve never met.

Andy and I “met” this past September on some messages boards and soon started conversing back and forth via IM. He recently graduated USC and moved onto Grad School out in Arizona, so we never had a chance to actually meet in person. When I learned that he was going to be in Columbia for a few days this month, I made sure to clear my schedule so that I could actually meet the fabled “Friend McSquash” himself. I’ve been warned by him that he’s not as funny in real life as he is on the Internet, but we’ll see. It’s times like these I remember why I love Shyzer and the people it brings me to.

Speaking of people I know only through Shyzer, Jaime pointed out that I have yet to post the results of the Best of Shyzer. I would upload them now, but I’ve already written the post about it and it’s back on my computer in Columbia. So what’s a few more days of suspense going to do to ya, honestly? But thanks for reminding me. I honestly wish I could get access to a floppy disk right now, because on my laptop is a Word Document 14 pages long full of posts that are ready to go. If I’ve learned anything over this break, it’s that the world no longer uses floppy disks and I need to accept that. So, I worked for two hours today (thereby theoretically making two hours worth of wages that I normally wouldn’t have made) and used those wages to order a USB Flash Drive for $25. No longer will I have to worry about carrying around a damn floppy disk with 1.38MB worth of storage since I now will own a 128MB flash disk.

Why am I telling you this? Well, now I will no longer be able to say “I would give you a real post right now, but it’s stuck on my laptop, so…”

And just to throw this out there. I’ll be 22 in a four weeks and living in Australia in five weeks. That’s after spending the previous three weeks with my family. Could I be any happier right now?

Happy Birthday Waynus. Even if it is a day late.

I can’t believe it’s already been a year. God I still miss you. My family’s old computer died this past summer and my mom finally gave it to me to see if there was anything salvageable. I managed to get the computer up and running and so I started going through all the old files seeing if there was anything worth keeping. That’s when I found our old IM Logs and read all the IMs that were sent last year about Tan. I had forgotten some of the great things people said about him and it took everything I had not to lose it. You’re still missed Bro.

Well, it’s been what, a week, since I’ve posted? Sorry bout that. However, judging from my vistors counter, not many of you have noticed. I’m home for Christmas and frankly I haven’t been on the computer longer than 10 minutes at a time. Tommy and Clay have had the Internet hooked up to their X-Boxes for most of the time, so I’m lucky just to check my e-mail each day.

Remember how a week or so ago I asked for suggestions for the movie that me and my siblings were planning on making? Well, we ran into a few complications with the damn thing.

• Equipment: First off, I realized I didn’t have the right equipment to transfer the videos over from the camcorder to my computer. After a few days of Googling and $5, I located the correct cord and had that problem solved.
• Location: The mall here sucks. Seriously. For all the bitching I do about South Carolina being too rural, this area makes it look like a bustling metropolis in comparison. I went to check the place out earlier this week and realized that there was no way we would last ten minutes in the place before being thrown out. The malls back in South Carolina are at least big enough to where you can walk around and go in another entrance. Problem remains.
• People: There’s nobody here to pull a prank on! I’m not sure if they all bred themselves out through marrying their siblings or what, but the total population in a 100 sq. mile radius is 12, including my family. Problem remains.

So, we realized that we were gonna have to tweak the plans before we could get something funny. It wasn’t until last night that we found a perfect Soundboard and a working microphone. Needless to say, it quickly became prank phone calling time! After mastering the perfect sound combos faster than an autistic kid solves a rubrics cube, we were off pranking people left and right. So expect those to be uploaded soon.

But what about the camcorder? Well, we still don’t know quite what we’ll be doing with it. We contemplated making a live version of a few flash files on ABS or lip “sing” a few feminine songs, but we always seem to wake up the next morning thinking that our hilarious idea from the previous night is total crap. It goes something like this:

Goob : Guys, let’s make a [insert retarded idea here] type video!
Waynus : HAHAH! Hell yeah!
Clay : That would be hilarious! And it’ll be easy too!
Goob : Okay, this idea can’t fail. I’m gonna download the software we need and make sure this hasn’t been done before.
Waynus : Okay, I’ll start thinking of ideas and write them all down!
[The following morning]
Goob : What the hell is all this crap I downloaded?
Waynus: Guys, this is a fucking retarded idea.
Clay : Yeah, who the hell came up with this shit?
[Repeat every night]

We’re almost at the point of walking around the house with the camcorder and trying to force something funny to happen. I’m gonna make this work, damnit. I hope everyone had a great Christmas. As you can see, it’s 6 AM, which means I need my sleep so that I can wake up in the morning and trash our latest idea.

During hour seven of working on my thesis today, I turned on one of my favorite radio stations broadcast over WinAmp for some background music. Some time later, I heard a country song by Deana Carter and found myself subconsciously tapping my foot and nodding along with the lyrics. I then proceeded to consciously search out, download, and listen to the song again. A few hours later I even uploaded it to my iPod.

I downloaded a country song. On my own free will. And it’s still on my computer and iPod.

Wow, this thesis really is starting to play mind games with me.

*Note, I wrote this last night before the results were in. I was just too lazy / tired to find a floppy disk and transfer it over to Shyzer off my laptop. So ignore the “whoever wins” attitude that I have.*

Well, here I sit at 10PM, before any of the real election results have been turned in, watching The Daily Show Live, and trying to figure out how in the name of all things Holy to put these thoughts I have onto paper…or, Microsoft Word I should say. For some reason, the task seems a thousand times more daunting than the major test I have on Friday in Latin or trying to finish this senior thesis paper or curing cancer. So let’s start this post as I start any other overwhelming task I partake in; by starting from the beginning. Using the best sugarcoating skills I own, I guess I could sum up my feelings in two points and go from there.

(1) The Democrats will lose this election because of their own fears and incompetence that they were simply either too stupid or too afraid to face.

(2) There is a growing part of me that is thrilled over this, for I hope it will either break or make the Democratic party for my lifetime. And personally, I’m hoping and cheering for some Break.

Let’s see here, Point 1. Well, Jesus, is this even at all surprising? Okay, maybe not to some, so let me try and explain where I’m coming from. It’s no secret that I was a staunch Howard Dean supporter. Why? Because he inspired me. He alone motivated me to go out and vote this year. He was the source of my revitalized interests in politics and he never failed to check his political rhetoric at the door, instead, opting to openly speak his mind. He was the proverbial “fresh air” that so many Democrats have cried out for over the past decades.

So what did the Democrats do? They shied away from Dean in fear. As soon as the first “How will this guy poll? Maybe undecided NASCAR Dads and Moral Moms won’t vote for him” seeds were planted, the Democrats fled and weaseled their way to a “safe” candidate. Their chosen replacement for Mr. Dean? John F. Kerry, the most non-personal, placid, docile person available who was unable to parlay his goals and visions to the American public in a clear and concise method. The Democrats allowed fear to overtake the entire party, not realizing that the entire “swing voters” were looking for somebody, anybody who could say where they opposed President Bush and what they planned to do about it. Howard Dean was more than willing to do so from the beginning. John Kerry was amazingly unable to do so from the beginning. And yet, the Democrats still chose a “comfortable” candidate, one who didn’t step on any toes and would make sure he always said the “right” things. Would Howard Dean have won? Who the hell knows. But I guarantee you this, he would have made this race much more clear cut. He was the Democrats best chance at rallying and inspiring massive amounts of support through his ideas, but the Democrats chose to hang their future on another strategy. And what was it?

The “lesser of two evils” and “he’s not Bush!” strategy. Wonderful. Instead of finding and supporting a candidate who inspires and gives you hope, you people decided to get behind a person because he isn’t somebody else! What the hell is wrong with this party?! If Kerry does get elected, he won’t stand a chance at being reelected in four years. The “Anybody but Bush” support will have vanished by then and where will that leave the party? With an unenthusiastic, bland President going up against the likes of a Senator McCain or Rudy Giuliani. The Presidential election of 2008 will be disastrous for the Democrats and I am simply left here shaking my head wondering who fell asleep at the watch here? Who failed to raise their hand and point out that sometimes you have to nominate the dark horse, especially when HALF THE COUNTRY HATES THE CURRENT PRESIDENT! What better time IS there to nominate a dark horse?!

Anybody But Bush. Jesus H Christ. How in the HELL did nobody see this as a grotesque and monstrous error that could only lead to failure!? What does the Democratic party stand for? If I didn’t keep up with the news and only listened to the statements and slogans they put out instead of digging through all the bullshit, which is the case with the majority of people in America who are a bit too busy with raising their kids and getting their next paycheck, I’d say the Democrats simply wanted Kerry elected because his last name wasn’t spelled B-U-S-H. Way to go guys! I honestly wonder if I will ever see another monumental fuck up like you guys just pulled in my lifetime.

Which brings me to Point 2. As I said, President Bush handed this election on a silver platter to the Democrats and they still were unable to win, which only furthers my belief that the Democratic party is too inept for their own good. So why does this make me happy deep down inside? Why does this please that little voice in my gut that seems to be saying “this is actually good for us, Ryan. This is the beginning of something greater.” Because maybe, just maybe, this might be the failure I’ve been waiting for that will help jumpstart the rise of a true third party, which is something I think would give this whole process we call “elections” a full dose of reality. No longer would either of the two major parties be able to hide behind the veil of ambiguity and misdirection. They would both be forced to provide solutions instead of the political rhetoric that we are all so accustomed to by now. That is, if they wanted to keep their power. Otherwise, there would be other parties ready to step in, ready to shove aside the old and usher in the new. You think a three or four or ninety party system doesn’t work better then a two party system? Take a good, strong look at history my friends. Hell, take a look at Europe in the present, where virtually every country has at least three major parties.

And don’t tell me that it can’t happen here in America. Back when this great nation was clawing it’s way out of infancy, the two main parties were the Whigs and the Democrat-Republicans, who soon shortened their name to the Democrats. However, the seeds of a new party were planted in the early 1800s and any by 1856, they finally emerged as a viable alternative campaigning under an anti-slavery, pro-expansion, and pro-North ticket. Only four short years later, they won the Presidency. You might have heard of their candidate, a Mr. Abraham Lincoln. This new party also decided to pick up the name that the Democrats dropped and began calling themselves The Republican Party of the United States of America. Somehow, people find it interesting that it was indeed the Republicans who freed the slaves and ruled the North during the Civil War. 80 years later, the party found that they had taken a complete 180 turn as they campaigned against the Civil Rights, but we’ll save that argument for another day. But it’s not just America that’s seen the rise of alternate parties before. Sure, their end result might have been just a smudge different then what they promised, but the Communists in Russia and China, the Fascists in Italy, and those pesky little Nazis in Germany all came out of nowhere to form a viable alternative to the standing parties.

I’m tired of being chastised for “throwing my vote away.” I’m tired of people telling me that nobody but Bush or Kerry has a chance of winning, so why waste my time? And most of all, I’m tired of the overall feeling people have that unless things change now, this very moment, then what’s the point of voting? You don’t think I know that no matter who I vote for, Kerry or Bush will win? Come on now, give me a little more credit than that! I’m not looking at this election. I’m looking at 40 or 50 years down the road. I’m looking at building the foundation for a new party, one that is certain to change in shape and form by the end result, but one that can finally rise up and say “no more, we’ve had enough of your bullshit.” Maybe I’ll be able to give my children or grandchildren the opportunity to realistically be able to choose from three or more parties, and that, to me, is more precious and valuable then anything else.

So as I sit here reading over this and noticing that President Bush should pretty much win this election, I can only sit back, shake my head in disgust, but smile at the same time. Sure, the next four years are going to be devastating to our foreign relations, our environment, and our civil rights. But those are all fixable, even if it seems daunting. Let the courts ban gay marriage. I don’t worry about it anymore whatsoever because anybody with half a brain realizes that 50 years down the road it will all be overturned. Let President Bush continue to blow off our allies. It might cost us our superpower status, but honestly, is this such a bad thing? If he gets us into another war, though…

This election is over and in the past now, so instead, from here on out, I’m going to focus on some of the most wonderful news I’ve ever received.

Australia, brace yourself. =)

Well, contrary to how it might appear, I’ve spent the last day and a half doing upgrades and minor maintenance work on Shyzer. The biggest overhaul was my blogging tool, MovableType, which got a hefty upgrade from version 2.661 to 3.121. I am well aware that those numbers mean absolutely jack-diddly to most people and that you can’t see a difference, but from my end, it’s a world of a difference. I now have much more control over my blog and can do quite a few nifty little things that couldn’t be done before. For instance, I was able to get rid of the security code while keeping the anti-spam features. So no more complaining about filling in that code, Sax! I should have all the updates done around here by the end of tonight.

Anyways, instead of making a real post, I thought I’d pass along a few links that I thought you all might enjoy. Batter up:

Road Trip! – This video is pretty cool, but it’s the music that I like the best. It’s just entrancing. I didn’t even like the song the first time I listened to it, but the more and more I did, the stronger it started to grow on me. But even if you don’t like the song, it’s still enjoyable to watch the video. Cool little concept.

The airplane! Go for the airplane! – This, my friends, is both a simple and amazingly complicated version of tossing a ball of paper into a trash can. When you go, click on the free version to the left. You’ll have to wait in line (usually takes about 60-90 seconds) and then you are tossing away! The game works like this. You co-worked lazily tosses you a wad of paper. It is your job to catch the ball with your hand, which is controlled by moving your mouse. Once you’ve got your hand near the ball, click and hold your mouse and the character will make a grab for it. If successful, you now are charged with throwing the paper into the nearby trashcan by motioning your arm and releasing the mouse. It sounds easy enough, but trust me, it takes a little while to get the hang of tossing the paper. And it’s dangerously addictive.

My highest score to date is 6430. Anybody think they can beat that?

Did she just say…? – This one is pretty much self explanatory. Two guys, bored and looking for something to do while on a layover, managed to get the announcer at the airport to call a few Arab names out requesting they come to the service desk. The only thing was that…well, the names sounded funny =)

Are you Kramer? – I’ve saved the best for last. This great site here is a fun little game that I’ve only been able to fool twice (and I’ve tried many, many more times then twice). The object is simple. Pick either your favorite sitcom character or a dictator and answer the questions as if you were that person! If you pick somebody popular, it won’t take long for the computer to say, “Let me guess. Are you Kramer from Seinfeld?” But your whole goal is to try and get the computer to guess wrong or simply say it has no idea who you are. It may sound like a stupid idea, but it’s actually pretty fun.

And with that, I’m off to translate 40 Latin sentences. Be sure to stop back in this week for the results (and subsequent final round) of the Best of Shyzer, along with my rant on what is wrong with the Democratic party and how the best new show on TV in years (Lost) turned me onto one of the best books I’ve ever written.

*THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO VOTE! Be sure you go vote for the Best of Shyzer soon! Anybody and Everybody is asked to vote, especially those who have been reading my site for over a month or two! For more information on what the heck I am talking about, please read this post I made a few weeks ago! Thanks!! *

When I am in the library, like right now for instance, my usual intention for being here is to study. How come I am instead in the computer lab typing a post for Shyzer?

I got back safely from Virginia Sunday night after an awesome trip up there. I don’t care how much money I lost in poker or how much gas it took to get there and back. I had fun so it was well worth it. Case closed. I got to see live and in person the now infamous Math Emporium who can attribute its fame and glory to Dave’s away messages. Friday night was spent drinking, playing poker, and getting to know Dave’s friends. We capped it off with a trek to Waffle House, which apparently is a tradition for whenever any of David’s friends come up. It helps make them feel at home or something. =) Dave’s roommate Weed is also awesome as hell and no; his nickname isn’t derived from what you are probably thinking. And Virginia Tech’s campus blows USC out of the water. It’s amazing what a nice, clean, centralized campus can look like. Even though they are virtually in the middle of nowhere, the surrounding environment couldn’t be more beautiful. Honestly, is there a more gorgeous place on Earth then the outskirts of the Shenandoah Valley? I think not. But all in all, I had an awesome time and can’t wait to go back to see him one of these days.

Oh and Dave….quit putting the peanut butter into the refrigerator!

I also got to finally see my brother Tommy play for the high school football team. The Ogre is actually pretty damn good. I feel like I can take some of the credit since we all know I toughened him up from all those years of torment and agony I forced him to go through growing up. Hopefully he’ll remember I’m the one to thank when he’s making millions in the NFL.

But now, I am back to Reality. I have a huge test tomorrow that basically determines whether or not I make a B in my Diplomatic History class. I have mountains for Latin homework and a quiz due Friday. I have my rough draft for my 25-page British History paper due on Monday and so far, all I have is my title. I have a Latin American History test the following Tuesday. And to top it all off, my afternoons are already full with classes, working for my Uncle, and tutoring people in Computer Science.

Yet I somehow find time to watch playoff baseball every night….Interesting…

I’m in no way complaining though. I actually don’t mind all the work. But I felt that I might as well justify why there won’t be any mind-blowing posts made on Shyzer in the next week or two (like there would be anyways, right?) I will be updating this week though, because I’m trying to balance out making long, drawn out and short, succinct posts. And what better time is there to make concise posts?

The lack of recent updating here on Shyzer is amazingly not due to the fact that I am lazy. On the contrary my friends. My schedule is so incredibly tight right now that it is hard to even fathom the idea of how I used to just lay around and do little side projects that I always wanted to do.

It seems like I’m always typing up some form of this post every few weeks. There always seems to be something that is keeping me from maintaining a regular posting pattern, whether it be school one month, work the next, lack of inspiration the next, followed by school all over again. Yet this time seems to be different. This time seems to be my own doing and I think I finally understand why. Everything that I have going on right now is purely from my own accord, and frankly it is helping me immensely.

Sure school is sapping up quite a bit of my energy. Don’t listen to Fellner when he says I’m not doing any homework. He lies. I do my Latin homework every night thank you very much. Now if he says anything about this God-forsaken Senior Seminar class that I am in and how I curse it and swear nasty vengeances against whoever invented this course I’m in, he might not be exaggerating too much. Seriously, who in the world gives a damn about Britain from 1660-1760? And who in the hell picked these years?!

Professor #1: Well Jim, I’m not sure what area I think our students should focus on. Sure they need to learn something useful, but I’m all for screwing them over at every possible corner.
Professor #2 (who I should just call Jim): Well Steve, how about just picking some random, insignificant years for them to study? I’m sure you can find some period in British history where there was a Civil War going on that can be blown way out of proportion and made to seem larger then it really was!
Steve-fessor #1: That’s a fantastic idea! And while I’m at it, I’ll prohibit them from writing about any large, grand topic like “British Imperialistic Approaches” or “British Aims in Foreign Relations!” Instead, I’ll compel them to write 30 pages about some pathetic, worthless theme like “British Female Skit Patterns on Dover St. During the Winter Months in 1703!” Oh, Oh, And I’ll make it their only grade! MWAHAHAHA!
Jimmy Boy: *wipes tears of joy from his eyes*

Honestly, this won’t be the last you hear me complain about this class. I simply find it pointless to force students to take a class where they “Learn to be a historian” during their junior year and then “Become a historian” their senior year. If we didn’t know anything about being a historian, I doubt we would have chosen History as our majors. I also highly doubt that any of the 13 or 14 people in my class are hoping to master the topic of Britain from 1660-1760 anytime soon. And in all honesty, I highly doubt any of us are planning on using our History degrees to become your stereotypical historian as many people thing of them as. If all a historian did was research archaic topics and present 30 to 40 page essays on them, I guarantee you only a handful of colleges in America would still be offering History as a major. I truthfully wonder when people will start realizing that majoring in History doesn’t mean your only choices are to go off and teach or work in a museum. But with that rant aside…

My class load this semester is decently full. Aside from that horrendous class I am being forced to take, I have a few other history courses, which have already peaked my interest. The History of Latin America and Controversial American Diplomatic History. The professors in each of those courses are great and the reading material we have been assigned is superb. I’ll never complain about reading 50 or some odd number of pages if the material is at least engaging and interesting. Along with those three history classes, I am taking my final Criminal Justice class (Criminal Law) and an elective class (Intro to Latin). The Criminal Justice class is being taught by a professor that I’ve had before. He’s extremely tough, but fairer then many of the professors I’ve had over my years. He forces you to memorize 30 or 40 trial cases per test, but I truthfully don’t mind them since that’s the only way I seem to memorize the technical aspect of laws.

My final class is an elective since I seem to have saved up many of my electives for my senior year. The class? Intro to Latin. Now I’ve had many people ask me “Goob, what in the hell are you doing taking Latin? Didn’t you already complete your foreign language requirements?” Well, yes, I did satisfy all my foreign language needs, but that didn’t really cross my mind. I’m not taking Latin due to anything other then the fact that I want to learn more languages, starting with English. Huh? Yeah, I thought that might be a little confusing.

See, I have a confession to make. Every single one of the posts I’ve made in the past few months have been typed up in Microsoft Word. I enjoy Notepad much more, but it lacks one key feature. Spell check. I am horrible with spelling. Horrible doesn’t even come close. Horrendous. Wretched. Miserable. I’ve gotten to the point where I am almost perfect with common words because I have worked so hard at becoming a better speller, but if I hear a word that I don’t know how to spell, I’m lost. And the same goes for meanings of words. My weakest area of the SAT came from the section where they give you some random word and you have to figure out what it means. I find that to be the most depressing game ever invented because I suck so horrible bad at it. Until now.

I knew that English basically came from Germanic structure and Latin words and I figured since I already have the structure part down, the Latin part could help me with the words. I’ve only been in the class for a week and I already have improved tenfold. I’m simply amazed at how many English words come from Latin and how many stems and roots I’ve learned. This might easily become one of the best class choices I made during my few years here simply from what I can learn from it. And besides, my future requires me to learn a few new languages, so learning basic Latin can only help.

Alright, this topic veered completely off course. I started planning on explaining what all I’ve been doing to keep myself busy and why I’ve been doing it, yet instead I talked about…well, if you’ve gotten to this point, you should know what I’ve talked about. This post is already long enough as it is, so I guess I’ll save the second part for tomorrow. Until then…

Earlier this month, Clay, Julianne, and Colton came down to stay with us for a week while my mom was off working. It was enjoyable having them around, which is evident from my total and utter lack of worthwhile posts while they were here. We played baseball out in the back yard and colored picture of Cinderella or Snow White. We stayed up late rehashing old memories and during a few nights, we went ahead and made a few new memories to go along with them. But in the middle of that all, I was reminded of an important fact that at times slips my mind.

You see, while The Kids were down here, we went out to eat with our grandparents. It was a chance for everybody to get together and see each other again given that it had been so long since we had all been in the same room together. During dinner, the topic of an e-mail my granddad had sent my father was brought up, which triggered this chain reaction in my grandmother’s brain. She slowly turned to me, looked me square in the eye, and calmly said; “And I need to clean your mouth out with a bar of soap!”

Say what?! What did I do?! I had just been laughing at something my dad said! It didn’t take long for me to figure out what she was talking about though. She wasn’t talking about something I had said just then or even something I had said that evening. No, she was talking about a few choice words that may or may not have been used by myself here on Shyzer.

That’s right. My grandmother had read Shyzer. Heck, I didn’t even know she had a computer that could load Shyzer! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining in the least bit of ways. I found a deep sense of satisfaction that my grandma had read my site and maybe even still reads it now. She’s seen what I spend a majority of my time doing, she’s read some of my writing, and now whenever she has the desire to see how I’m doing, she can log onto the Internet and check it out. Now maybe I’m amused by simple pleasures, but I just think that is down right cool.

But there was another lesson to be had from that experience. I have no idea who reads my site. Sure, I have a general idea of which friends and family members do and don’t. It’s easy for me to know when David reads my posts since he is the only person from VT.EDU to ever come to my site. It’s pretty obvious that my siblings and parents read my site if only for the pure fact that they tell me. But the truth of the matter is that no matter how many people I know visit my site, I honestly have no idea of who else visits my site.

Which is why I shamelessly ripped off the Vegas commercials to promise that whatever happened on the camping trip, stayed on the camping trip.

All I can say is it was one of the most memorable trips I have had in quite a while. Various questions I’ve had for what seems like years were answered, some old friendships were reminded of their strengths, and a much-needed forum for my true self to emerge was widely available. I wish I could say with a straight face that I wish I could tell you more about our trip, but honestly, I can’t.

Because like I said, whatever happened on the camping trip deserves to stay on the camping trip.

I couldn’t be any happier with the end result.

I know, I know. Many of Shyzer’s loyal readers are sitting out there going “Where in the hell is Goob? Has he forgotten about us again?!”

Well the answer is quite simple. Yeah, I did. Okay, well maybe I didn’t so much as forget about you all as I didn’t really feel bad about neglecting my posting habits for many reasons. Like Reason #1 or Reason #2 or even Reason #3.

(Sidenote: Pic 1 is pitching arm, Pic 2 is my knee, Pic 3 is my hip. I was hit by the ball. Hard. Leason learned? Never pitch without a glove.)

That’s right folks. For the past week, I have spent every possible second of my free time playing baseball and along the way, have compiled a nice collection of injuries that have yet to slow me down on the base paths. Day 1 started out nicely. Tommy was able to bring some of his friends over to Duncan Park and we had a small 5v5 game going. By Day 2, the game had jumped to 8v8 and all bets were off.

There was a slight buzz around town over how amazingly fun it was. People were sending me IMs at alarming rates asking if they could play or if we had an extra glove for them or if it was okay that they didn’t know the rules. Never to turn away a potential player, I invited all who asked to play and the game quickly grew. Soon we were scrimmaging All-Star teams trying to get some practice in before some tournament in Virginia. Players from Dorman and Spartan High soon started showing up asking to play. I didn’t even know what to do with half of these kids and yet, the game still went on.

Sadly, I won’t be able to play with until next Monday. I leave for North Carolina tomorrow with my boys for a weekend of boozing and…well, boozing. Na, we’re actually just going camping for the weekend before we all have to leave and head back to our respective schools. We’ve had this in the works since March, which means if for some ungodly reason we are prevented from carrying out our plans, I might seriously snap and go on a five-state killing spree full of carnage, mayhem, and some slight hilarity. I’ll even be sure to cap it off with some high-speed chase broadcast live around the nation as I make my way for the Mexican boarder with my prostitute hostage held in the back seat and my sawed off shotgun held out the window. Then again, maybe I should just start my hostage spree here in Spartanburg, where I know I’ll be able to outsmart the police. Hmm…

As far as my schedule for when I get back, well, it’s slammed. I’ve got more baseball and work during the first week of August. I then have to commence the first phase of Operation Toadstool (more commonly known as moving some furniture back to Columbia) and then head to Charleston for a weekend of relaxation by day and partying by night to celebrate Fellner’s birthday. After that I’m heading back home for my final week here in Spartanburg, where I’ll cap off that with the second phase of Operation Toadstool and then head back to Charleston to visit some friends all before school starts.

Finally, a few weeks of bedlam. I’ve been looking forward to this.

But fear not fellow readers! Does this mean I’ll have no time to regularly post here on Shyzer for the next few weeks, meaning any and all posts during that time frame will come during seemingly random times? Well, yeah. But AFTER THAT! Well, that’s a whole other story, for I currently have, sitting on my desktop, Posts 1 through 8 ready and rearing to go. I’ve completed most of them and have waited to post them due to their time sensitivity. What do they all have to say? You’ll just have to wait around and find out…