Shyzer.com

In my quest to find a suitable chat software for the freebie forums, I was led to God knows how many different forums on the web. Unfortunately for me, in order to test out their chat software, I had to register on them all and make a few posts before I was granted access to the rooms. In doing so, I was reminded of something that I find peculiar about the Internet.

People love virtual Yes Men.

Time after time and time, I found forums that were dedicated to certain niches and which made little to no effort to bring in people with opposing views. I fully understand seeking out people with similar viewpoints and interests. But making it a closed group of only like-minded individuals sitting around in a virtual circle jerk kind of seems counterintuitive to me.

Holy Mother of Christ, I’ve found the next website that I need to be writing for. A random Google search came up with an obscure site called Advertising Wizards and I gotta say I’m loving every ounce of it. It’s like my 17 Commercials that suck balls posts expanded into a regular, full blown site.

After finding both this and Fire Joe Morgan recently, I’ve really starting digging their style of writing. Watching the systematic dismantling of anything with wit, sarcasm, and the occasional foul word is both highly entertaining and delightful.

I actually read about the Sweden fact at least a year or so ago in Time or Newsweek or something similar. The fact that this is still such a big problem is downright shameful.

The List Project

When I first heard the old saying “good writers borrow, great writers steal,” I scoffed at it. Surely great writers don’t steal. If a piece of writing was good enough to be stolen, wouldn’t the original author be able to find success with it? Plus, anybody stealing other’s work and then capitalizing on it would definitely be caught!

Then I entered the real world…

It wasn’t until I got to college that I actually started putting the Internet to good use. Downloading new music, finding directions, chatting with friends…and reading unpublished work.

Growing up, I’d venture to guess that 90% of the average person’s reading material is forced upon them. Book reviews, summer reading lists, crappy textbooks. Eventually we begin to find our “enjoyable” reading niche, which unfortunately for most men is Sports Illustrated or some other pathetic magazine while women turn to crappy romance novels. Before we know it, we’ve unceremoniously morphed into adults who have long forgotten what it feels like to read something spectacular. It’s no wonder that every time you board an airplane, all you see are cookie cutter John Patterson novels in people’s hands.

In the past, only a select few seemed to be lucky enough to truly discover and appreciate a Watership Down or Catch-22 or Ball Four. But even with those, you were limited. It’s my experience that no matter how wonderful a book may be, chances are anything else by the same author is…well, sub standard. You’ll always be holding the author up to what ultimately may be their magnum opus, at least in your eyes. Something that took years of writing and polishing and editing is what you find yourself holding as the benchmark for adequacy. An author can’t just snap their fingers and produce another equally astounding piece of work. I don’t care what J.K. Rowling writes next, it won’t top Harry Potter. The same goes for Richard Adams or Pat Conroy or any of the other authors who’ve written something I’ve grown to love.

So with that, all I can say is thank God for the Internet. There’s something different between an author in the traditional sense and somebody who writes and publishes something each and every day. Sure, you have to sludge through a lot of crap, but every now and then you find a hidden author that for reasons unknown is able to produce gem after gem, day in and day out, with practically nobody reading it. It doesn’t take a genius to see how somebody then goes from reading an unknown blog to ripping it off.

Think of it another way. How many of your favorite bloggers have taken their old material and actually made a book from it? How many of their posts will actually ever be read by more than a few hundred people? With odds like that, and other pressures that a “”published” author faces such as deadlines and expectations, I’m honestly shocked we haven’t seen more cases of plagiarizing on the web. The only blogger who I can name off the top of my head that transformed his material into a book (and whom I once read on a daily basis) was Colby Buzzell. Most bloggers simply delete their material when they grow tired with the net, like Doc and Stan did. At that point, ripping somebody off isn’t just an appealing option, it’s practically screaming in your face.

I write this post to point out one fact: in the past, I’ve ripped people off. There, I admit it. I’ve since deleted anything I copied from somebody else and thank God none of it became popular (in the sense that it made the Best of Shyzer or even garnered a lot of comments). Before, whenever I read something I especially liked, I might copy it here on Shyzer and bury it somewhere in a post. Now, I just link to it as it should be.

I think what changed my ways was having my own content stolen for the first time a few years back. It pissed me off then and it still pisses me off now, as is evident with the Mark Kotsay’s wife post I made a few months back. But at the same time, it’s an occupational hazard and something to be expected, I guess. Hell, I’ve even had attacks against me that I’ve copied other people for posts I made on HIF and it wasn’t even intentional. Such was the result of accepting user submissions. So, basically I know how it feels to be on every end of the plagiarizing triangle and frankly, none of them provide an enjoyable experience.

So to any would-be plagiarizing author out there who thinks he or she can get away with copying just a few paragraphs from an unknown website and passing them off as their own work - don’t do it. It’s simply not worth it, trust me.

I wish there were more people out there who didn’t always associate silence with awkward silence.

Sometimes it’s just nice to be quiet. Especially when it’s in the company of somebody you like. Give it a try sometime, people, you might actually find it enjoyable.

When you hear celebrities talking about how they live with money problems, you can’t help but feel it’s not quite on par with most people’s money problems. Sure, they may be having trouble purchasing that third mansion down in the Bahamas, but I don’t think that’s quite the same as having your only home foreclosed on.

So when I hear a celebrity talk about raising a child with autism, I surprisingly find myself cringing. I know that somewhere there’s a shred of similarity between their situations and “everybody else’s,” but are they really the best people to become the face of this cause?

Awareness and attention is great, but unelected spokespeople kinda suck.

I can already tell this post is going to be the launching point for two additional posts in the future. One on random, cool things I’ve found on the Internet lately and another on how the Internet has actually hurt “creativity” as much as it’s helped it. Well, maybe not as much, but I’ll save that for later. In the meantime, check out the first part of this video.

It reminds me of a techno song I found a while ago that used a generic beat and nothing but AOL sounds.

I’ve always loved random creations where none should exist. You’d expect to hear decent music from the radio. You know there’s a chance the music will be good if you head to the bar and listen to a local band. Yet nobody who hears the random bells and dings on their computer thinks, “now those would make an awesome song!”

I think it’s pretty nifty that the guy not only created this, but then took the time to show people how they too could make a similar song. Not many people will create something and then put their creation out there for others to modify and build upon, despite the fact that the Internet is not only perfectly suited for this, but essential built upon this model. Far too many people out there (myself included at times) will create something, stick it on the ‘net, and then expect full and total control over it. I can’t help but feel that completely defeats the purpose of sharing something on the ‘net in the first place.

Random Edit: I happened to have IE open since I’m making a new design for HIF and dear God was Shyzer hard to read. Apparently IE hates serif fonts. So I added a little code that keeps the serif font for FF and Safari while displaying sans-serif for IE. In conclusion, Shyzer is now what I deem to be 14 trillion times easier to read if you still use IE.

I just managed to watch last night’s episode of The Daily Show since I wasn’t able to 24 hours ago. There’s something about enjoying a few too many margaritas that prohibits me from being able to comprehend and absorb an episode of my favorite television show, much less remember how to operate a TV remote. The guy Jon Stewart interviewed had recently written a book about how the Internet and computers have invaded a bit too much of our lives (not in a 1984-esque sense but more of a “it’s taking the place of daily interaction with the people we love”). Jon started to defend the Internet, blah blah blah, but it got me thinking.

I’ve gotten to the point where I first look for certain things and activities off the Internet before succumbing to find them on the internet. Let me explain.

If I need the address of a local pizza joint or the date and location of James Monroe’s birth, I turn to Google (actually, Blingo as I’ve won $75 from them in the past few months alone). If I need directions to Tulsa, I turn to Mapquest. If the Mariners played a home game the previous night, I know ESPN.com will be there to back me up as soon as I want the score.

These are all pointless and small obscurities that in years past would have taken far too long to locate or find out. I would have had to find my copy of the Yellow Pages or drive to the library to use their encyclopedia Britannica or rely on a friend to not give me false info. For the information I was gleaning, the action of obtaining it was too time-consuming or difficult. These are situations where the Internet is a freaking Godsend.

But the Internet isn’t usually applauded for these types of actions. When people speak fondly of it, they reference examples such as how it’s now easier to find a marriage partner or stay in touch with family or discuss a specific topic with other like-minded individuals, like politics or quantum physics. And frankly, these are areas of my life where I don’t want the Internet invading.

Well not quite invading. I’ve met friends on the Internet whom I’d never give up. I’ve become members (and created one!) of tight-knit communities that are downright awesome. And while Fellner hates me for never calling him, at least we have some fun on each other’s Facebook walls. The point is I just don’t want to rely on the Internet for said actions and events.

Take LOST, for instance (and believe you me after the stuff I read today, this very topic is going to get it’s own post in the near future). I love the show. I love talking about it with Clay and Juls right as the episode ends. I love dissecting it and trying to find the hidden meanings surgically planted throughout the episodes. But if I want to get into some real mind blowing debates and conversations about the philosophical oddities of our Lostie’s names or the dark matter theory, I have to turn to the Internet. No offense to Clay and Juls, of course.

Some people would point out that without the Internet, I wouldn’t be able to have these debates and discussions in the first place. They’re absolutely correct. The Internet didn’t make smart people vanish from real life. I should be grateful, therefore, that I’m able to even have these debates in the first place. So let’s take it back a notch. How about political debates? Well, not many of my friends are into politics, so onto the Internet I go. How about baseball? Eh, again, most fans you run into in real life can hardly tell you the starting lineup of their favorite team, much less talk intelligently about WAR or OBP. You name it and, sadly, you’re going to get better results turning to the Internet than you are turning to real life people. But somewhere along the line, people have stopped even trying to find the good results offline and have instead come to believe they can only be found online.

Let’s be clear here. If my choices are lose touch with old friends or stay vaguely in touch via infrequent e-mails, I’ll of course take the latter. I don’t give a shit that I’ve forgotten how to quickly locate something in a library just by looking at the numbers. I looked at a map the other day and it took me a minute to see the clearest route to where I was going. These are skills that, while nice to have, are quickly growing obsolete due to the Internet. And they’re skills I won’t miss.

But I don’t want to forget how to read the body language of a person I’m meeting for the first time. I don’t want to lose my game for picking up hot chicks (insert joke about me having no game here). I don’t want to never go to family functions or out to the bar with the guys simply because I talked to them on Facebook already this week. There’s something about human interaction that we don’t think much about. WebMD will never be able to fully diagnose you. I can download all the music I want, but it’ll never be as good as going to the local hole in the wall and catching a live show every once in a while. And no matter how much porn is available within five keystrokes of any site you’re on, I promise you the real thing is much more entertaining.

The Internet is great for a lot of things, but I think people these day not only use it, but rely on it for a little too much. Let’s just all try and keep this in mind, okay?

EDIT: Looks like I wasn’t the only person who felt this way.

We all know I love beards. They’re awesome, easy to grow for real men, and . There are plenty of examples out there of men who have sported the beard at one time or another and they all look better with a little scruff. Brett Favre, President Baltar, Goob - You name it, most guys who rock out with the stubble are light years ahead of their non-stubbled peers.

But there are a few people who shouldn’t ever grow a beard. It makes them look like a hobo, a bum, or at the very worst, a hobum.

David Letterman is one such man.

Yeouch. Buddy, it ain’t working. Kudos for the effort and I wish more guys would follow your lead, but I’ll personally send you a razor if need be.

It’s a good thing for everybody that I have a shred of dignity in my body that keeps me from doing and saying things I might later one day regret. Because the Devil’s Advocate in me is just screaming to comment on certain things in the news right now and….damn it, that voice in my head is piquing the little common sense I have left.

Shit, my teeth hurt from gritting them too hard. Moving on.

Should I mention how I just now filed my taxes? Na, too common. Let’s see, oh, there’s the fact that I listed things on e-bay practically all day yesterday. Dear God, that’s mind-numbingly boring even to me. Umm…oh, screw this, I’m just gonna go finish watching season 3 of The Sopranos.