Brilliant Idea #81938 - Personal Breathalyzers
Wednesday, February 21st, 2007Someday soon, I’ll probably be forced to own this cell phone, which has a built in breathalyzer function. Most people would probably get this in hopes of preventing themselves from getting behind the wheel of a car. Luckily for me though, I’ve never been interested in operating a blender, much less some other larger machinery like a car, whenever I get drunk. No, I’d be purchasing this little gadget for one thing and one thing only:
The LP4100 also allows users to set up the phone so on certain nights and after a certain time they do not call certain people in their phone book. Think ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend.
If you have a blood alcohol level over .08, the phone will not let you dial that person. So it not only promotes sobriety, but chastity - and probably your dignity, as well.
Ahhh, dignity. I wonder what it’s like to have some of that!
On second thought, a cell phone isn’t even my worst enemy when I’m drunk. The only people I call is Fellner and random numbers. No, what I need is to rig up the same type of device on my personal computer that will shut it down instead of allowing me to operate AIM, MSN, Shyzer, and Facebook while drunk. Because no matter how trashed I get, I never seem to forget how to use a mouse and keyboard…