Best of Shyzer   

From October to December of 2004, the loyal readers of Shyzer participated in a massive vote where collectively, the best posts I’d ever written on Shyzer were highlighted and applauded. It was a glorious time to be a reader of Shyzer: I was making posts on a regular basis, they were actually entertaining to read, and people were responding and commenting about them. It almost felt like a small community; one which was awesome, mainly because it centered around me.

And then in 2005 I went to Australia and learned that I liked making excuses for why I didn’t write posts almost as much as I enjoyed writing. Daily posts turned into weekly posts turned into monthly posts. Insightful and witty observations turned into mundane recounts of humorous experiences turned into, “today I ate a turkey sandwich.” For three years, Shyzer was hardly anything more than a complete and utter waste of space. Or so I thought.

I have no idea what made me start going through my archives one afternoon…no, in fact, I know exactly what it was. I was talking to a lady friend about a funny post I’d made that I was sure she’d enjoy, went to this page in order to show it to her, and was surprised to find it was nowhere to be seen. I was stunned to think that I’d written it sooner rather than earlier. It got me thinking what else I’d forgotten about writing. So I sat down one afternoon with a pot of coffee and slogged through it. And for every twenty turkey sandwich posts I’d cobbled together was a bright gem I barely remembered penning. Sure, there weren’t as many as before, but Shyzer suddenly wasn’t such a futile effort to me anymore.

So below you’ll find what I, not my readers, believe to be some of my best posts from the past 5+ years. Note, this isn’t a list of what I think are the best written posts - there are plenty that, while beautifully crafted, few people would care to read. At the same time, that means that some of the links below contain entertaining stories or themes but weakly written prose to go along with them. I’d take them off the list or rewrite the post, but I won’t do either. For one, the point of this list is to provide a starting reference to posts the average reader would enjoy and as for editing them…well, I like being able to start from the first post I ever made and slowly watch my progression from shitty college English 101 author to shitty unemployed 20-something author.

Absolute Best

  • The Stand - A simple book review turns into something much more.
  • Tan Nguyen and Week 1 - These posts are basically a somber reaction to the sudden news that one of my best friends had passed away.
  • This is Caketown…I mean, Shyzeria! - This is by far the best evidence of what happens when I get bored.
  • Reunion, Part I and Reunion, Part III - These are the first and third parts in an overall three part post that I made a few years ago. The first deals with the special and complex relationship I’ve had with my father while the third was a good-bye to my then long-term girlfriend.

    • Good Reads

  • Part I & Part II of The Creation Education Science Fair - Probably one of the best and most well received posts I’ve ever made. This two-part entry basically cracks fun at one of the most extreme Christian groups I have ever encountered.
  • Lost in translation - The inner workings of a child with Autism is still one of my life’s greatest mysteries.
  • Only In Spartanburg - I mock the botched handling of a hostage situation in Spartanburg a few years back and the pathetic news coverage by FOX.
  • Jesus Christ - In a playful attempt to have a little fun with a movie and spoof on my look at the time, I showed how Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ was ruining my Jesus Impersonator career.
  • The Catch - This post is basically a narrative of “the catch” I made back during an intramural softball game. I wish I could say there is some sort of hidden message within it or something more to it, but honestly it’s just a story about how I love baseball and playing the outfield.

    • Shyzer Moments

  • You can’t start a fire without a spark - As I watched Shyzer degrade into waste right before my very eyes, it was time to make a few changes. And while I failed miserably at said changes, here’s where I at least drew a line in the sand and made my stand.
  • Which USC is this again? - I needed to rent out my room. An idiot needed an opportunity to shine.
  • The Goob Experience - As my semester abroad in Australia approached, I found myself low on the ole’ cashola. I knew Shyzer was an untapped resource just waiting to burst forth with mountains and mountains of money, but I didn’t want to just ask people for donations. So, I decided I would sell the experience of a lifetime. Becoming me!

    • Personal Favorites

  • 48-3 - A post about my brothers and I embarking on a trek to watch Brett Favre play in person.
  • RIP Pat Tillman - Despite being written in a blind haste and quite short, this story and post had a more profound impact on my life than most people will ever realize.
  • Australia - For anybody out there who has slogged through some tough crap and then suddenly you can see the bright light on the horizen, this post is for you.
  • The place I love - Once upon a time, I fell in love with Australia and the awesome people there. It’s still been the hardest love of my life to shake.
  • The Three Musketeers - While I’m sure only myself, Waynus, and Clayster will find many of the references in this post funny, it’s still one of my “old school” favorites.
  • Chong is still da bong - I reminisce about meeting one of my oldest friends.
  • Kids these days - Hey, kids! Stop reading this and go outside!

So there you have it folks. That’s the best of Shyzer. If, after reading any of it, you still can’t find a reason to stick around, then I wish you farewell. But if you liked what you saw, then pull up a chair, add Shyzer to your bookmarks, and stick around. You never know when I might post the next entry that will one day become a Best of Shyzer.