Shyzer.com

You know how I can tell the Olympics are back again? My old post with the Misty May / Kerri Walsh photos is getting a ton of search engine traffic.

Oh, well that and the fact that I’ve been glued to the TV for the past 48 hours. What’s the over / under on how much I get accomplished in the next few weeks? It doesn’t matter, just take the under and bet the kid’s college fund.

EDIT: Who else just saw that epic comeback by the US swim team? AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!

EDITED EDIT: I love this photo.

First off, ESPN needs to die. Seriously. Somebody go blow up Bristol. I’m the biggest Favre fan in the world and even I couldn’t stand watching it anymore. I officially apologize to the Sports Community for the past two months.

I became a football fan because of Brett Favre. I was a Favre fan before I became a Packers fan.

I wholeheartedly believe in the Madden Curse. It’s stupid and illogical of me and I don’t care. It’s real, Favre’s on the cover this year, ipso facto he’s gonna suck. It’s basic logic, folks. It’s pretty easy to see how Favre + shitty team + going from small town where he can do no wrong to New York where you get booed for sneezing = oh shit.

Seriously, New York is not going to be kind to him. At all.

Up until tonight, I honestly expected to follow Favre to whatever team he went to. It’s pretty clear there’s a lot of blame, but Christ if the Packers didn’t botch him from day 1. I’m not even sure I believed he’s actually switch jerseys though.

I was a Ken Griffey Jr. fan before I became a Mariners fan. When he was traded from the team in 2000, I considered jumping ship and following him to Cincinnati. But I stuck with the team since players come and go and my current boycott of them notwithstanding, I think it was the right move. I try not to think about asking when my faith and loyalty will go rewarded though…

All that said, I will root my ass off for Favre to win every game this year. I hope he gets all the way to the Superbowl. But I hope my Pack beats him there.

Angela, get ready!

This is weird though. It’s also just a damn sport. That’s a lesson 16-year-old Goob is really glad 25-year-old Goob has learned. I think that’s the best part about this whole thing.

What do you get when you combine Joss Whedon, Neil Patrick Harris, and Nathan Fillion? Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog!

Lucky for you, free viewing is now available through Hulu (of course, that happens THE DAY AFTER I buy the season pass on iTunes, but whatever). There’s no telling how much longer it’ll be offered for free, so get in on it while you still can.

Act 1
Act 2
Act 3

They’ve just announced plans to do a 4th act, so hell to the yes for that! I never thought I’d enjoy a musical as much as this.

While perusing through my Shyzer e-mail account the other day, I wound up skimming through my junk folder looking for a verification e-mail that unluckily and incorrectly was flagged as spam. I wasn’t really paying attention to what all the other subject lines read, but then I noticed Favre’s name out of the corner of my eye. And what, is that Mandela beneath his? Wait a minute…

Now let’s break this down. In the span of 25 messages or so, we get the following headlines:

Cindy McCain Talks About Her Boobs
Brett Favre Signs With Vikings
Mandela Found Dead on Birthday
California Serial Killer on the Loose

Who are they targeting with these?! On my list of people I want to hear and/or see talk about their boobs, Cindy McCain is at number Eleventy Billion, right between my mom and Barbara Walters.

Favre signing with the Vikings is obviously tailored towards me, but why in the world would I want to read something about that? My first reaction to such a headline would be to vomit in the nearest trash can, not open the damn e-mail. And what do they expect me to do upon realizing it’s just spam for a Viagra knockoff? Feel so relieved that I want to rewards myself with a prolonged erection?

Mandela dead on his birthday? What the hell? Why drag the name of one of the world’s most respected men into this debacle? Although I’d be willing to bet most people think he’s already dead, so what percentage of the public would this be effective on? 10%? Lower?

And finally, the serial killer running amok is a nice page out of the major media playbook. “Tonight at 11, tune in to find out what will likely kill you and your entire family before dawn. Also, Skip brings you the latest sports highlights and Phil has the weather!” Lucky for me, I don’t live anywhere near California. So unless he gets a wild hair up his ass and decides to go on a roadtrip, I think I’m safe.

EDIT: I just checked my spam folder again and found these two nuggets of awesome: “Bodyguards Positioned Outside Jolies Vagina” and “Senator John McCain Wishes To Have Sex With Model Heidi Klum; Others” – HAHA. The mental image of the first one totally makes it and the second one only turns awesome with the addition of “others.” Oh come on, tell me! I feel like it’s that news tease all over again!

I just received a job offer. I think I might take it.

Five brownie points to whoever uses the title to figure out what country the job is located in.

I find hostage rescue stories immensely interesting. The recent one involving FARC and the Colombian military has certainly taken a strange twist though, hasn’t it?

All I can say is I’ve added “create a fake website for use in a hostage rescue operation” to my list of life goals.

Story | Photos

In my eternal quest to “grow up” in the most absurd ways possible, I’ve begun to purchase music. I still don’t feel bad about freely obtaining music from huge bands worth millions, but the thought of stomping on the head of a struggling newcomer just doesn’t sit that well with me. Who better to give your money to then the guys still playing in dive bars and hole in the walls across the Tri-state area? Fuck, what better people to be friends with, for that matter?

Anyway, I used iTunes for the first few dozen songs I bought. What did I get? A ton of 128kpbs music ensnared by DRM. Nightmare, let me introduce you to Goob and his six computers running three different operating systems all synced with various iPods. You two are going to be great friends.

Then I found Amazon MP3. Better quality (256kbps), DRM-free, and cheaper to boot! I love my Mac, iPods, Apple tech support (I was sent a brand new Macbook battery last week, which is a whole other post altogether), and pretty much the entire efficiency package of everything Mac-related.

Yet Apple needs to realize that sleekness and ease of use are no substitute for superior product and cheaper prices. Just ask Wal-Mart.

Boo iTunes, Hooray Amazon MP3 (even more so if you drink Pepsi and save those codes under the bottle caps).

I think we’ve basically established that all I post now are funny videos and the occasional long-winded post. And you know what? I’m totally cool with that.

[via EatPes and ZeFrank]

Somebody out there could make a hilarious mashup of this video and the previous one I posted: