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Watching Brett Favre hold his press conference and talk about his retirement an hour ago wasn’t any easier than I thought it would be. Man, this sucks.

To be honest, I’m not too shocked he retired. You knew it was coming sometime soon and ever since at least two or three years ago, I’ve been trying to prepare myself for it. I really thought it was going to come last season, especially after everybody was congratulating him after his last game and he started crying and everything. I thought there was no way he’d be coming back after that. At the same time, I thought there was no way he’d not be coming back after the season the Packers just had. Go figure.

I’m just glad I got to see him play live and in person. Even though the second time kinda sucked.

Last year I wanted him to come back simply so he could prove how good he still was. I won’t lie and say I saw this past season coming, as I’m sure nobody thought Green bay would go 13-3 this year. But after the way they finished up the prior season, I honestly felt 9-7 was doable and 10-6 wasn’t that farfetched. And in the NFC, that’s easily playoff material. So having him back this past season was great. Having the Packers play the way they did was awesome. That damn Seattle playoff game was absolutely icing on the cake. Many people will say they’ll remember his poor performance against NY as his final game, but I’ll choose to cherry pick and remember that Seattle game in the snow.

He’s right though, there’s no guarantee Green Bay will be the cream of the crop again next year. The NFL is finicky like that. To be able to go out on your own and at the top of your game, no less, is something that has to be appealing to him. Nobody liked seeing Michael Jordan sucking it up in a Washington Wizards uniform. So I can understand and respect his decision to bow out now. As a fan, though, I can’t help but wish he’s lace up for another few years though

If you hate Green Bay, I can understand how all the constant media attention of Favre could be nauseating. Just thinking about them taking the same approach to a Derek Jeter or Tony Romo makes my stomach curl. But seeing as how I bleed Packer yellow (which can’t be healthy, I might want to see a doctor about that…), I’ve been loving every second of it. One thing that’s been bothering me, though, is listening to people try and rank him on the “all time” list of best QBs. To start with, that’s an almost impossible task, especially when comparing QBs from different generations. But even so, there’s a few things to keep in mind.

• As much as I love Donald Driver, Favre never had a Jerry Rice type receiver. Just look at the past receivers of his who have come out of the woodworks to talk about Favre in the past few days. Antonio Freeman? Don Beebe? Robert Brooks? Dorsey Levens? We’re not talking about perennial Pro Bowlers here and the few times they were in the Hawaii, Favre happened to be having a brilliant season. Coincidence? I think not. John Elway had Terrell Davis, Steve Young had Rice, Troy Aikman had Michael Irving and Emmitt Smith. Only Dan Marino had to work with less than Brett. Favre was one of the few QBs who could work his magic with or without great players on his offense and that should speak volumes.
• People like to point out that he holds the record for most INT’s, but when you’ve played as long as Favre and made as many attempts as he has, you’re going to throw some picks. Yes, as a fan, sometimes he’d drive you crazy with bad throws, but that was part of the Favre Package and you knew that coming into the game. Not once did the fanbase turn against him and start bemoaning that he needed to step aside (something the NY Giants fans could learn about…) and if all those interceptions were so bad, wouldn’t you think they’d be the first group of people to point out that he threw so many of them? Nolan Ryan is considered one of the best pitchers in baseball of all time, but people forget he holds the record for most walks.
• I don’t know how many other QBs in the 90s had to battle drug or alcohol addictions, but Favre not only battled and beat them both, but he had to do so while in the public spotlight. Just sayin’…

I think what I’ll miss most about Favre is simply watching him play. I dare you to name another athlete in ANY sport that plays with as much love for the game as Favre did. Watching him made me feel as if I was back in Spartanburg running BA passes with Chong or trying to score the winning touchdown by running through the rosebushes in our neighbor’s yard. He made watching football fun, almost to the point where you forgot about what a win or lose might do to the team’s record. All you cared about was seeing what other crazy ass play he could pull from nowhere and no matter how many times he made you scream out “NOOOOOOO!” in agony, he almost always single handedly redeemed himself with a miracle play here or a methodical drive there.

Brett Favre’s retirement isn’t tragic or sad or heartbreaking. It’s not something to dwell on or become depressed over. The man isn’t dead, he’s simply not going to throw a football for a living anymore. But damn if I can’t help but feel a small sense of loss over the simple fact that I’ll never get to see #4 running around a piece of grass with his helmet in one hand, his other arm stretched upright with one finger in the air, and a giant ass smile on his face.

Like I said two days ago, I miss the bastard already.

I’ve got to make 5 posts by midnight tonight if I’m to fulfill my 30 posts in 30 days quest. Thus, I’m digging into the archive of unfinished posts and seeing what I can polish up and get published. Here’s the first of *fingers crossed* five.

There aren’t many times when I voluntarily give up the Internet for prolonged periods. In fact, I’m struggling to think of any such occasions right off the top of my head. That is, excluding the week leading up to July 21, 2007.

To say that I was a little paranoid about being spoiled the ending of the final Harry Potter book would be an understatement. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that people on the Internet are assholes, myself included. Some more often than others, but trust me, the fact remains. If you spend more than an hour a day on the Internet, there will be a point somewhere along the line where you’ll purposefully be a dick just for the hell of it. And when the entire HP book ends up on the Internet over a week before it’s actual release date, you didn’t have to have an active imagination to know what would follow.

So, with that said, Only click the link below if you’ve finished the Harry Potter Heptalogy, because otherwise you’re going to be spoiled. For you see, I surprisingly don’t want to be a dick right now.

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This video was played during the opening credits to a MNF game this past season, but I missed it back then since I was in Australia.

This is one of those times where excess words only get in the way. So I’ll shut up and just watch that video again.

        

All I gotta say is I hope Favre dominates retirement as much as he did the NFL for the past 16 years. Thanks for every single memory, Brett. Rock on and enjoy yourself, mate, because you’ve earned it.

If you’ve read Shyzer for a while, you know that I’m something of a commercial enthusiast. I love good commercials. Problem is, there aren’t many of them. If you think anything that airs during the Super Bowl is a good commercial, then you are retarded and should never voice an opinion again.

Below I’ve compiled a list of current commercials that are so horrible, I want to jab a dull spoon into my eyes whenever I see them come on. If given the option of watching each of these for ten consecutive hours or being dipped in a pit of molten lava, well, go ahead and get my casket ready. The first bunch of commercials are just random ones I hate, with the final three being the Top 3 worst current commercials. I’d say “enjoy” right about now, but I have a feeling that nobody will enjoy suffering through these visual pieces of shit.

And if you haven’t guessed by now, strong language below, mainly because I like to say fuck whenever I get angry and hate something.

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Update 1: As much as I loath linking to a Fox News story, they’re thankfully reporting that the Marines are not only aware of the video, but are investigating. In years past, reaching this step alone would have taken days, if not weeks, of organized letter and phone protests. Now? The Internet plows it’s way to justice in a mere 24 hours. Rock on.

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While drinking my daily dose of one barrel of coffee this morning, I was perusing digg for some interesting reading material when I came across a link that read “US Soldier throws puppy off cliff (video).” I clicked it thinking it would be some humorous play on words or satirical video and…oh, oh…no. It’s a clip of some scumbag, named David Motari, launching a puppy off a cliff.

I’m not even going to link to the video from here, just trust me that you don’t want to see it. I sure wish I hadn’t. However, the video’s not why the Internet still rocks. What I love about this global mess of nothingness we’ve created is how everybody has reacted to said indefensible video! Within 12 hours, people on digg have found the guy’s myspace page, his wife’s page, their home phone number & address, his bebo page, copies of his marriage license, and more. They’ve started letter campaigns to his Senator and Representative, have secured copies of the video and stashed them all across the web for proof, (since he is now franctically trying to take it down), and contacted just about anybody with a higher rank than his.

It would suck if the video was instead some horribly twisted joke with computer animation and whatnot. But let this be a lesson - if you piss off nerds on the Internet, they not only won’t care if the infractions were legitimate or not, but they’ll make your life a bitch and a half. Vigilante justice for the win!

I wish there were more people out there who didn’t always associate silence with awkward silence.

Sometimes it’s just nice to be quiet. Especially when it’s in the company of somebody you like. Give it a try sometime, people, you might actually find it enjoyable.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been taking full advantage of my free time to do one of three things. Either writing posts for Shyzer, redesigning HIF (still in the works) / the forums (done save for some small tweaks) / Shyzer Network (pretty much done), and working on a mystery project that must be completed within one month. Thus, the majority of my time this month has been staring bleary eyed at one of my many computer monitors while my sanity slowly slides away.

As I sit here and look around my new living quarters, I can’t help but feel they’ve changed in some small way. For instance, see if you can tell the difference between from how it looked before…

And how it looks now…

That’s actually not such a bad picture, as I’d cleaned up a little beforehand. However, there’s clearly a bunch of crap I didn’t bother removing either out of necessity or the feeling of futility since I knew a carbon copy of the item would soon replicate in it’s place. Take the many coffee mugs, for instance. At this point, there’s no real reason to move them until I’ve actually run out of coffee mugs. What’s the point of taking them upstairs and washing them out when I know that in a sort few hours more will seemingly magically reappear.

In fact, let’s look at the second picture a little more closely. I’ve never really been a fan of flickr before, but the ability to tag certain areas of photos with notes is pretty nifty and thus, I’ve uploaded and tagged the hell out of that photo. Go check it out and move your mouse over the photo, there’s a guaranteed chuckle or two in there. I’ll wait.

Back so soon? Sweet. That gave me time to slide my gloves and slippers on. It reached a cozy 10 degrees a while back, but it’s since dipped below zero again. If I die soon, please make sure the mortician checks for hypothermia. In fact, the only thing keeping me alive is the trace amounts of adrenaline pumping through my body as I try and anticipate what song will be on channel 415 next.

You see, all this time in front of my computer hasn’t just allowed me to de-evolve into a subspecies who lives in his own filth, but it’s given me ample time to discover some new music. With our cable plan, we get somewhere around 10,000 channels, give or take. I think 50 are devoted to Mexican soccer leagues and there are another few dozen showing travel guides to Nigeria (hint, bring lots of rice and hand soap). But if you’re able to get the channel shifted to the low 400s, you’ll find streaming, commercial free radio stations targeting every genre imaginable. In fact, I think the Mexican soccer leagues have a station up there too, where the announcer just sits around screaming “goooooooal” all day long.

As for me, I stick it on 415 or 417 or whatever else is playing decent music I’ve never heard of and by days end, have a new batch of awesomeness to upload to my iPod. Technology can be a bitch at times, but as long as I can tap my foot along with it, I’m all good.

So, Desmond and Penny? Best couple on TV? I think so. Incoming reports are a bit conflicting, but I’m receiving news that their tears can cure cancer.

I’m grabbing my pitchfork and demanding a new show called Sayid and Desmond be created. The pilot episode can contain them both just sitting in rocking chairs on the front porch for an hour. Desmond just gets to say “brotha” over and over while Sayid builds an intercontinental ballistics missle out of toothpicks, wax candles, and gummy bears. Brett Favre and Ichiro will show up during the last ten minutes as special guests and then the universe will implode due to so much awesome being in such close proximity. I smell an Emmy!

When you hear celebrities talking about how they live with money problems, you can’t help but feel it’s not quite on par with most people’s money problems. Sure, they may be having trouble purchasing that third mansion down in the Bahamas, but I don’t think that’s quite the same as having your only home foreclosed on.

So when I hear a celebrity talk about raising a child with autism, I surprisingly find myself cringing. I know that somewhere there’s a shred of similarity between their situations and “everybody else’s,” but are they really the best people to become the face of this cause?

Awareness and attention is great, but unelected spokespeople kinda suck.