Shyzer.com

I just got a phone call from a Nigerian prince asking to confirm my bank account information in order to facilitate moving some secret funds across the globe. Or as he put it, “Hello honorable Mr. Goob Shyzer, thank and bless you for aiding my struggle in moving the millions of dollars to your account.”

I shit you not. He called me Mister. Goob. Shyzer.

The conversation didn’t last long, as he didn’t appreciate the fact that I wouldn’t give him my correct info after telling him the info he had for me was incorrect. Apparently I was “struggling a old man who is dying and it’s not nice or kind.” Darn it, I hate to “struggle” senior citizens. It’s always hard to look yourself in the mirror after doing so.

I’m assuming he simply pulled my info from one of my domain WhoIs listings, which have my cell phone number and last name as Shyzer. I’m not sure if he sincerely believed my name was Goob Shyzer, but it took everything in me not to burst out laughing when I heard it come out of his mouth. If you’ve never heard a scammer call you by such a name with the seriousness of a doctor telling you a loved one has just died, then you haven’t lived.

I really hope he passes my number around to his buddies and I start getting more phone calls, because this could easily become my biggest source of entertainment.