Shyzer.com

Republican straw polls show Fred Thompson is something something something. Sorry, I zoned out there. What? Fred Thompson is still getting serious press coverage?

Look America, let me go ahead and let you in on a little secret. Thompson doesn’t stand a chance. Democrats should be praying to Jesus (with a television crew nearby to capture how religious they are, of course!) that he somehow ends up on the Presidential ticket. Because if he does, they can go ahead and nominate my idiotic puppy who enjoys pooping on my brother’s X-Box 360 power cord and still feel confident that they’ll win.

I won’t waste much breath on this since it’s still so early, but if we reach March 2008 and people are still talking about this guy, I’ll delve a little deeper. But for now, I just want the rest of you to know that when I start saying “I told you so,” I wasn’t rewriting the past.

Mark my words. I’m telling you now. Fred Thompson is a joke. He will not come even remotely close to being elected President.

And I wish I was joking about my puppy.