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If you asked a large group of well educated, attentive baseball fans what teams have sucked the most over the past few years and a few obvious choices come to mind. The Royals have sucked ever since the fall of the Soviets, the Pirates haven’t had a winning team since the hottest band was the New Kids On The Block. And I think the highest moment in Devil Rays history was when they played a local high school team and squeaked out a 5-4 victory.

But if you take it one step further and ask which team has spent the most money and still managed to suck? “Oh, well that’s a no brainer,” they’ll tell you. It would take them all of five seconds to introduce you to the Seattle Mariners.

The past five years have been absolutely gut wrenching. The previous three are obvious, as they’ve floundered in last place no matter what the calendar shows. But even the two years prior, when they won 93 games each year and still didn’t make the playoffs. Since the introduction of the Wild Card over a decade ago, no team has won more games and still not made the post season. Yet the Mariners did it two years in a row.

Those 2002 and 2003 teams just ripped your heart out. Nobody actually expected the Mariners to contend these past few ears, myself included (go look at the old posts I made here on Shyzer to see for yourself). But after the 2001 season, anything seemed possible. They had just won 116 games, made it to the ALCS, and had a great core of talent.

And then things just fell apart. Players started to show their age. New talent didn’t perform to expectations. And ownership was petrified at making any changes that would “upset” the fanbase. So what did that get us? Two teams that absolutely crumbled down the stretch to the point that in August of each year, they went from first place to a distance second and a far away third. And then they just tanked for another three seasons.

Every April, fans like to feel optimistic about a team’s chances at winning. And yet Seattle fans know not to bother this time around. Our team is still horrible. We have the worst manager in baseball, our best player will either get traded away this summer or leave (please, Ichiro, prove me wrong….I handled Griffey getting traded away. I swallowed watching Cameron walk to another team. I even stomached Buhner retiring. But I don’t know if I can actually watch you play in another team’s uniform…), we have some of the worst contracts in baseball (Yeah, I’m talking about you Sexson, Weaver, and Washburn!), and we have the absolute worst front office management. Don’t believe me? Just goggle “Rafael Soriano trade” or “Chris Snelling trade” and read what most baseball people had to say about the Mariners when they traded away two of their best young and talented players this past winter.

And yet that line up above has given me a reason to love baseball all over again. The King, Felix Hernandez, at the ripe old age of 21 years and a few days old, is showing the world that he’s for real. No more prospect. No more potential. We’re talking about real life, Johan Santana-esqu pitching. Last night’s game on ESPN2 was billed as being a huge Dice-K vs. Ichiro matchup, but the fine folks over at USSMariner had this to say before the game started:

haven’t been this excited for a game in years. As my friends will attest, I get a bit giddy on Felix day anyways, and well, this is no ordinary Felix day. This is the leading contender for 2007 Game of the Year.

The media is going to run with Matsuzaka-Ichiro as the big story, which should be expected. The matchup will open the game, and Ichiro is the most famous player on the roster. Oh, and he happens to be from Japan, or so I’ve heard. Since it’s Boston, the focus of the story will be on Matsuzaka’s first start at Fenway. The $102 million right arm takes the hill in front of Red Sox Nation for the first time. And the leadoff hitter happens to be his countrymate. It writes itself.

But in four hours, there’s a good chance that Ichiro and Matsuzaka won’t be the story to come out of this game. This is King Felix’s first start in Fenway, too. Red Sox Nation has never seen him pitch, either, and it’s his first major league start as a 21 year old. It’s a nationally televised game - only the second one of his career.

On opening day, Felix told the city of Seattle that the hype was real, and that he wasn’t the baby faced overweight kid anymore, but now he was coming after Johan Santana’s crown. Tonight, Felix has a chance to tell the rest of America.

Daisuke Matsuzaka is the second best pitcher taking the hill tonight. Go get em, Felix.

Chances are, you know how that prediction turned out. But in case you haven’t turned on a TV or tuned in to your favorite talk radio show or even can’t read the box line above, let me break it down for you. Felix decimated the mighty Red Sox, to the tune of one hit. One God Damn hit, thank you very much Harry Doyle. Hell, head on over to Google News and type in Felix’s name. People are STILL talking about it. You’ll be lucky to find an article older than a day old by page 24. But don’t just take my word or some random sports journalist’s opinion for it. How about hearing from some of the players who he’s dominated so far this season.

“Felix Hernandez is twice as good as I had heard. The only guy I think I’ve ever seen dominate that much that young in a game was Dwight Gooden. He looks healthy and if he stays healthy Santana’s going to get a run for his money this year.” - Curt Schilling

“That kid can have a career like Roger Clemens, Nolan Ryan or Pedro Martinez…If he behaves and takes care of himself, he can be somebody really big in this game. He’s very powerful as a pitcher. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like that in a long time.” - David Ortiz

“When you face a guy like that, you tip your cap and you go into the next day really trying to forget about what happened” - J.D. Drew

Mark my words, if King Felix stays healthy this year, he wins the Cy Young. And that, my friends, is what makes following the Mariners and, for that matter baseball, simply awesome. Your team might suck. They might show few signs of getting better. They might even have the worst #2, #3, #4, and #5 pitchers in baseball.

But then when they have a pitcher like King Felix, every five days you can forget all about that. Ever fifth day, you can sit back, crack open a beer, and stare in awe as he reminds you all over again why you love baseball.

Every fifth day, King Felix makes baseball fun again. And for that, I’ll never be able to thank him enough.