Shyzer.com

In my never ending quest for stupidity on the Internet, I was happy to open up my Hey, It’s Free! e-mail account and read this:

This is LoveU2Toleda@yahoo.com Your confirmation: #873890 Is a fake I check with WalMart about the $500 gift card, and quest what there is none. Now should I report you to the web and email address companies about you bigmama ? Or should we say Cynthia Gibbson. If you can\’t show me this $500 card by say March 1st,2007. My email should be ringing off the hook. Thanks for listening.

There’s so much to dissect in this short paragraph (and I use that word lightly), that it’s almost overwhelming. But what’s my favorite part? It’s not how guess somehow morphed into quest. Or how I caused her e-mail to “be ringing off the hook.” Or even how I might soon be reported “to the web?”

No, my favorite is that somewhere along the line I, Goob, master of awesomeness, somehow became Big Mama. And that alone totally made this e-mail worth publishing, complete with senders address and all.