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Whenever I’ve had enough of screaming kids and I want an easy day or I’m in a bit of a drought and haven’t been getting any calls to sub, I’ll pick up a kindergarten aide job. Even though the pay isn’t that spectacular, it’s super easy, as my only responsibilities consist of helping a handful of 5-year olds color in the boxes, cut on the dotted lines, and handing their asses to them in trashcan basketball.

But the best part has to be spending the majority of the day sitting at my desk and chatting with the actual teacher all day long while the kids sit mere feet away, blissfully unaware of anything going on around them other than “Oh look, there’s a picture of a pink cat!” on the wall. I love it, because it’s such a different change of pace from subbing as you actually get to spend the day with ANOTHER ADULT! How novel of a concept!

And the topics of discussion! They certainly make for some enjoyable stories! Let’s just say after subbing down in the kiddy wing a few times, it made me wonder if my kindergarten teachers had talked about sex toy selling teachers, the escapades of the tramp down the hall, and the events they saw behind the local pub last night while I was coloring my picture of Martin Luther King Jr as well. If only I had had the same interests back then as I do now.