Archive for 2006

Fair and Balanaced Dose of Crap

January 6th, 2006 at 11:55 pm

This video clip is flying across the Internet at a faster pace then the Star Wars or Numa Numa Kids combined, but I wanted to take a minute to talk about it and point out a few things. I’m talking about the Bill O’Reilly - David Letterman clip, of course, where surprisingly Letterman doesn’t back down to the obscene claims O’Reilly begins spouting.

I’ve uploaded the clip here to Shyzer and even though it’s 12 MB, I’d highly suggest you download it to at least watch it once, if for no other reason than it’s highly entertaining. Right off the bat, you can see Letterman dipping his pencil in O’Reilly’s drink and stirring it around for a bit. Five minutes later, O’Reilly asks is that’s his drink, Letterman answers yes with a grin, and the crowd laughs as he takes a big gulp.

But what I really want to take a closer look at is the technique Bill O’Reilly has seemed to master - the art of deceptive implication. About ten seconds before the seven minute marker, O’Reilly is trying to explain to Letterman why he detests Cindy Sheehan. Listen to him carefully:

We believe that the United States, particularly the military, are doing a noble thing. A noble thing. The soldiers and Marines are noble. They are not terrorists and when people call them that, like Cindy Sheehan; called the insurgents freedom fighters, we don’t like that.

Now look at that quote again and more importantly, listen to the way he says it in the clip. This is classic O’Reilly chicanery. He starts off by praising the United States, the military, and the soldiers. He calls them noble three times in a row in order to strike the sympathetic chord within his viewers. He’s baiting us for his next sentence so that our brains will subtly make the inference on our own.

They are not terrorists and when people call them that, like Cindy Sheehan; called the insurgents freedom fighters, we don’t like that.

Do you see what he did there? Do you hear the two heavy and drawn out pauses he makes in his voice so that we are given the impression that Cindy Sheehan is calling our soldiers terrorists? If not, allow me to show you. This is what he’s saying, broken down even further:

“Our noble soldiers are not terrorists and when people call them that, like Cindy Sheehan (pause long enough for us to make the assumption that Sheehan is calling our troops terrorists); called the insurgents freedom fights, we don’t like that (again, long pause so our brain can wrap it up.)”

It’s the same method the Bush Administration used for linking Iraq and 9/11 back in 2003. This is not some awkward sentence that O’Reilly is stumbling over. When read, it loses some of its power, because you can see by the punctuation that he is saying Sheehan called the insurgents freedom fighters instead of calling American soldiers terrorists. However, when spoken and combined with the right mixture of pauses and innuendos, it’s a powerful tool of deception. He never comes out and says that Sheehan called our troops terrorists. He knows that if he does that, he can be called out for it by others for spreading false lies. So what does he do? He speaks with sentences that would make an English Lit teacher cringe, but that make the American viewers at home think he’s saying what he won’t come out and say. And I must say, he’s amazingly superb at it.

The problem with O’Reilly is that he rarely places himself in situations as the one that occurred on Letterman. On his show, if somebody begins to disprove what he’s saying, he essentially drowns out their voice by screaming at them about how American is under attack. He did appear on The Daily Show, which I’ll give him credit for doing so, but even then Jon Stewart went much softer on him then I would have hoped for. It seems he prefers to let O’Reilly make an ass of himself on his own show and then just laugh along at the absurdity of it. (For a great example of this, check out this clip from about a month ago.) But like I said, O’Reilly rarely places himself in a situation where somebody could, let’s say, pounce on the Ridgeview, Wisconsin example he so proudly paraded as an example of the “war on Christmas” that liberals were waging. If you only took O’Reilly’s word for it, you’d be left with the impression that a school board in Wisconsin had changed the lyrics of “Silent Night” to “Cold in the Night” in order to be politically correct. In reality, the “Cold in the Night” version is part of a coherent children’s musical written in 1988 called “The Little Tree’s Christmas Story.” As with other musicals, the words to some traditional Christmas songs were tailored to tell the tree’s story. Of course, after all the negative attention and publicity O’Reilly has focused upon the school, they are going back and redoing the musical with the carols’ tradition tunes, which will in essence render the musical incomprehensible. Bravo, O’Reilly. Bravo.

The examples go on and on and Letterman clearly proved in this exchange that he’s no Jon Stewart by hiding behind the thin veil of “I’m not smart enough to debate you,” but he also confronted O’Reilly on almost every talking point he tried to bring up, which is rare for main stream talk show hosts in this day and age. I only wish Letterman’s staff had done some homework and given him some examples and cases where O’Reilly has flat out lied on his television program. The interview would have been even more powerful had it ended with O’Reilly tripping over himself and his past quotes, but alas, I’ll take what I can get and appreciate every second of Letterman holding his ground. Especially when you remember the fact that The Late Show isn’t supposed to be some political debate forum, but instead a place for celebrities to pitch their latest book or movie.

All in, this clip at least proves that (A) Letterman can still be entertaining from time to time, (B) Not all crap goes unchecked, and (C) Bill O’Reilly is still amazingly ignorant.

And just as a little side note for O’Reilly, since this has always been a pet peeve of mine. It’s M-eye-6, not M-1-6, as in Military Intelligence (section) 6. When’s the last time anybody called the Central Intelligence Agency C-1-A?

Free Stuff Rocks!

January 5th, 2006 at 02:18 am

Remember the post I made way back when talking about how there was a site giving away free iPods? Of course you do, because you’re all loyal Shyzer readers who know and remember everything I do here. I ended up getting my free iPod from them only a few months after making that post and happily spent the next year or so jamming out and enjoying it to the fullest extent.

And then while I was over in Australia, I stumbled onto a message board that had lists of all the free stuff you could get from these companies and I was astounded. IPods, desktop and laptop computers, digital cameras, flatscreen monitors and televisions, video game systems and games, even designer handbags for the ladies - you name it, you can get it for free. I made a mental note to look into it again when I got back to the states and I did just that. I signed up for a few sites, began getting / buying referrals and started going “green” on a few sites in December. (Going green is slang for getting all your refs, having your account go through the normal review process, and be approved for your freebie prize)

When I got back from picking up Colton at school today, look what I found on my doorstep.

Goob and his free iPod!

Goob and his free iPod!

Goob and his free iPod!

Goob and his free iPod!

Goob and his free iPod!

Goob and his free iPod!

Goob and his free iPod!

The shipping time was actually remarkable fast. None of that 6 to 8 weeks bullshit. I went green on Dec 28 and they tried to deliver it yesterday. I filled out the form telling them to leave it and now today I’ve got myself a 30 GB, black, video iPod.

If anybody is actually interested in getting into the oh-so-lucrative market of getting stuff for free, I’d suggest starting by reading the walkthrough found over on Hey, It’s Free. The one I wrote in that post a year and a half ago is a bit dated since it was written, well, a year and a half ago. One Hey, It’s Free, there is not only an up-to-date walkthrough, but a Tips & Tricks section, an offers rating, and a FAQ about the freebie world.

Also, if you are going to sign up for a freepay site, don’t just go to www.freewhatever.com and create an account. Try and sign up under somebody else so that you become a referral for them. It’s pointless just to sign up without becoming a referral because then you are essentially making it harder for other people to get their freebie and it doesn’t help you or hurt you either way, so why not just help out somebody else? If you don’t know anybody who is signed up for the site you want to sign up for, leave a comment here and I can give you my ref link since I’m signed up for just about every site there is :) I’d certainly appreciate it!

800-210-1010

January 4th, 2006 at 11:50 am

Many a nights I stay up late working on the computer or reading or whatnot and it’s not unusual for me to drift off to sleep at 0400 or 0500. And while I don’t watch hardly any TV during the day, the few shows that I do watch usually start between 2100 and 2300. After my shows end, I tend the flip the TV on mute and go about my business since there’s nothing but crap on TV from midnight until I go to bed. However, sometimes I’m sucked in and I can’t help but watch something late at night. And whenever the show I’m watching goes on commercial, I’m of course subjected to phone sex after phone sex ads.

It’s no secret that I love LOST. In fact, I’m thinking about digging up that post I made about a year ago breaking down the show and updating to include the massive amount of info we’ve received since then. It’s also no secret that I think Kate is hot. I try to ignore the fact that in real life she’s dating Charlie and instead pretend in my little world she’s just sitting at home at night waiting to meet me. But still, no matter what hobbit she dates, it still doesn’t change the fact that she’s hot and that she’s hot.

As a 1988 edition of COPS went to commercial the other night, I diverted my attention back to my laptop to finish wrapping up a future post. In the background I could hear some 900 number being given to talk to young hot studs and while the offer was temping, I figured I’d pass. Something told me they weren’t gonna want to talk about the Mariners or my latest computer upgrades. I then heard a voice that was somewhat familiar and which caused me to glance up towards the screen. I couldn’t place where I knew the voice from, but I couldn’t see the speaker since the commercial was showing happy couples lying in front of fire places and going for walks on a beach. Then, right as the commercial was ending, I saw this chick talking to me. A hot chick. Wait a minute….Kate?!

Kate is the freaking LiveLinks girl. I watched it during the next few rounds of commercials and by the end there was no doubting it. I called the number looking to see if she’d pick up, but all I got was a message saying, “to talk to women, press 1. To talk to men, press 2. To talk on our free service, press 4.” The message then started to repeat itself, so I thought since they skipped the number 3, that might be the secret button you had to press to talk to Kate.

It’s not.

It’s not the Britsh House of Commons, but it’s close enough.

January 3rd, 2006 at 08:00 am

I was watching Margaret Cho on C-Span last night and every second word was mother f*%#ker or a word that rhymes with punt and/or lock. Being that it was Margaret Cho reading an essay about Ann Coulter, this didn’t surprise me, but one thing did.

They allow this on C-Span?! During prime time television? SWEET! If they talked like this in the Senate, I certainly would watch more often.

Hoy es manana

January 2nd, 2006 at 06:14 pm

I’ve been trying to teach myself Spanish by watching TV with the SAP setting on. I’ve got no damn idea what they’re saying, but I figure after ten or twenty years of this, I’ll be able to follow along.

Year Flashback

January 1st, 2006 at 11:42 pm

I’m usually not one for making New Years resolutions or doing one of those whole Year In Review type posts. They’ve always seemed so trite to me since we’re marking a new calendar year every twelve months. It’s not like it’s some once in a lifetime type event. Plus, I know myself better then to proclaim to the world on January first that I’m going to go to the gym four times a week or cut back on my daily alcohol intake. It’s basically setting yourself up for unavoidable failure and I’ve always found life is a bit sweeter when you can eliminate as much unnecessary disappointment as possible. That being said, I figured what the hell and decided to take a look back on 2005 and what 2006 has to offer.

I hate making realistic plans. I use the term realistic plans because I’m all for daydreaming and imagining what I’d do if some unexpected event happened, such as a plague killing 99% of the population or being given the chance to make contact with a previously unknown race. Those I know will never happen and yet they are fun to think about. But try and get me to plan what I’m going to do for the next week, let alone year, and I cringe.

Plans never turn out like you plan them to. They always go awry, usually in the most unexpected way possible so that even had you planned for ever imaginable scenario, you’d still be amazed when you looked back and saw how far off course you’d gotten. Like the Chinese say, there are many paths to the top of the mountain, but the view is always the same. So there’s no need for specific plans, but instead spend your time trying to figure out what you want to ultimately accomplish. As long as you’ve got that in sight, everything else just seems to fall into place.

And yet I find that I make plans all the time. This time last year, I had a Master Plan. I knew what I wanted to do, I knew how I was going to do it, and nothing could stop me. And yet here I sit, 12 months later, amazed at how much I deviated from what I had in mind. My goals and desires completely shifted and I can’t help but wonder, come 2007, will I be thinking the same about what I have in mind today?

For starters, 2005 saw the collapse of my journal process, which to most people means absolutely nothing, but to me is monumental. In some aspects of my life, I am amazingly anal and I hate that fact with a passion. My journal and how I went about writing it every night was one of the biggest meticulous feats I went through every day. And then in February I found that I hadn’t written in it for a week. By June, I was a month behind; now, three months. I’m slowly going back and filling in the gaps, but the pure fact that I let it get to this point proves that maybe one day I’ll be able to break some of these habits of mine that I detest.

I’m sure people are sick of reading the word “Australia” on here, but when talking about 2005, there’s no way around it. Sure, I was only there for four months or so, but the impact it had on me was monumental. I almost feel as if I came home a different person and I honestly have no idea why. So many little things about me changed, for better or worse, and truth be told I’m still discovering some of the changes.

For instance, remember one of the first posts I made when I came back to the states talking about the things I’d give up to go back to Australia? Well, at the time, I said I would have ditched watching baseball in order to go back. Well, I’d say I’m one step beyond that now in the fact that I no longer live and die by the Mariners and Packers. Before, when Seattle or Green Bay were knocked out of the playoffs / didn’t even make it, I’d literally be in shitty mood for a good week or two. Now? Not so much. Sure, this is small and insignificant in the great realm of things, but for me, it’s simply strange to see the shift in myself. And there are hundreds more that I won’t even bother detailing here, but that happened all thanks to that island out in the middle of nowhere.

Then there’s the bloody obvious. My undergraduate years came to a completion in August. I still don’t know how I honestly feel about that. It’s not like school is over for me - grad school will come eventually, followed by another few years after that I’m sure. But for now, I’m not attending classes regularly for the first time in my life since I used to watch Sesame Street daily. At dinner tonight, I looked at Juls and Clay and then started laughing when I realized they had school tomorrow. Me? I get to sit around and write all day. This is most certainly the life.

And speaking of sitting around all day, I’ve been here in Virginia for a little over four months as well. It’s one of those times where you don’t realize something until you sit down and add it up and then scrunch your face all tight and go, “Huh? Have I really been here that long? Damn….”

And how could I forget last January? For the Internet junkie that I am, it’s a miracle it took me so long before finally meeting somebody like Andy. I say that because before meeting him, I’d only known him on-line, hence making him the first person I’d ever met having previously known them only via the Internet. I’ve just always thought that was kinda cool.

So what the hell should I expect from 2006? Well, some more time in Virginia for starters, which is actually a good thing. I surprise the hell out of myself when I say I’m loving it up here. I just never thought I’d enjoy living at home again, but what with the kids keeping me young and laughing at things with my mom, I find the days up here seem to just fly by. But what else might go down this year?

Who the hell knows. And that’s the beauty of it - I’ve got no idea what might happen this year and I’d be retarded if I tried to predict it. Just as long as I stay happy and accomplish some of these goals I’ve written down over the past few months, I’ll be satisfied. And with that said, I’m off to work on one of them. Enjoy 2006 folks.