Shyzer.com

To say that I’ve wanted to do this post for a while would be quite the understatement. Long before Shyzer was even a figment of my imagination, I always thought I’d be funny to do something like this post, but for one reason or another, I never was able to until now. School, family, Australia - hell, two years ago I even completely forgot all about March Madness being in March. But thankfully, the stars have aligned or the Gods were ready or some other retarded cliche that implies I finally got off my ass and put some of this unfocused energy onto paper.

When my mom finally asked what I was working on after ten straight days of me carrying around me old college religion notes, I told her it had something to do with God and Republicans. “Oh, so it’s a political post,” she said. “Dear Christ, no,” I replied, “but he’s in there too, Christ, as well as Darwin and Buddha and Tom Cruise.” This new information seemed to be all she needed to hear, because with that, she quipped, “Ohhhh, so it’s a post which only you’ll find humorous. Gotcha.”

So with that flowing review fresh in your mind, I present to you the 2006 Religion Madness, brought to you by Shyzer.com, United Airlines, Coca Cola, and Captain Morgan.*

The premise of this tournament is simple: 64 of religion’s finest stars converge here on Shyzer for three full weeks of Holy basketball mayhem in an attempt to find out which religion is the best. So sit back, grab a cold one, and take some time to get to you this year’s lucky contestants before the games begin tomorrow. C-ya then.

* = United Airlines, Coca Cola, and Captain Morgan are co-sponsors in the sense that while I was writing this, I was also drinking rum & cokes and listening to my mom and Jeff make fun of me, who both work for United Airlines.