Shyzer.com

In 1978, ABC came out with a show that lasted for a grand total of 24 episodes before being yanked. Trying to capitalize on the cult following Star Trek seemed to have; they developed a story set in space about a small group of people who were the only survivors of the human race. The show was also the most expensive show ever created at the time, costing over $1 million dollars per episode. I’ve only seen one episode, thanks to bit torrent, but it’s pretty clear why the show was short lived. It was full of choppy dialogue, abysmal acting, and special effects that seemed as if they were created in somebody’s garage, despite the budget. But to be fair, this was in 1978 and “special effects in 1978″ is a phrase still synonymous with “suckage” and “craptacular.” In 1980, ABC took another shot at it by taking one or two characters from the original show and throwing them in an even futuristic version of its predecessor. It was full of time traveling, kids with superhuman strengths, and robot Nazis and I know this may come as a surprise to many of you, but it only lasted 10 episodes. I mean, I always thought that whenever you had robot Nazis AND superheroes, there was no stopping you. Sadly, I was wrong.

The show was called Battlestar Galactica and as they say, the third time’s a charm.

In 2003, NBC was again looking to fill its lineup and was approached by a group of writers who wanted to remake the old series into a 3-hour miniseries, except with a few twists. And by few twists I mean completely overhauling the series, such as turning the bad guy (who was named Count Baltar. COUNT fucking Baltar. Pure 70s right there, folks) into a quasi-good guy, recasting several key characters from male to female, and basically rewriting and changing the entire script from start to finish. NBC gave it the green light and later that year, it aired with little advance advertising or promotions. You can imagine the network’s shock when critics nationwide loved it and ratings proved it to be the highest-rated cable miniseries of the year. For those of you who missed it, the plot unfolded as such: A group of 12 planets housed the human race and their names ranged from Caprica to Scorpia to Virgon: variations of today’s zodiac signs. We soon learn that 40 years ago, our friends had been involved in a bloody and violent war with the Cylons, a group of machines that had been created to serve the humans, but who eventually rose up and revolted. At the end of the war, a cease fire was signed and the Cylons left to find their own home world. They were never heard from again, life slowly returned to normal, and human society began to revert back to a peacetime environment.

Turns out, that’s what the Cylons wanted. As we watch, they sneak back into the colonies using different models of human androids they’ve created and utterly decimate the planets with nuclear weapons during a surprise invasion, killing everything and anything in their path. A relatively small group of survivors meet up in space and, accompanied by the only military battleship that was able to avoid being destroyed, realize that the war is now over - the humans have lost. Not knowing what to do, the survivors recount an old myth that says when their ancestors first came and founded these colonies, there was actually a 13th group that was sent to a far away planet.

Realizing they have no other choice but to run into the unknown, our rag-tag group of survivors escape one last time from a Cylon attack and head out into the depths of space to find the mythical planet of Earth.

It didn’t take long for the Sci Fi Channel to jump at the opportunity and buy the rights to the story and characters. After seeing how much people loved the new version, they had visions of turning it back into a TV show and in January 2005, 13-trial episodes began to air, picking up right where the 2003 miniseries left off. TIME magazine soon declared it one of the six best drama series on television and the show won an ungodly amount of hardware that would give Desperate Housewives or LOST a run for their money. Season 1 eventually wrapped up on a LOST-esque type cliffhanger, but last night, Season 2 ended on a cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers. There’s no hanging on the cliff anymore, we’ve been kicked right over the edge and sent tumbling into the black abyss. And we have to wait until fucking October for season 3 to start.

If you want a show filled with violence, sex, and car chases, this isn’t for you. Oh, there are plenty of sweet battle scenes and scantily clad babes and hunks, trust me on that. But there’s also so much more. One of the unique aspects of this show is the use of religion and mythology, in both the classic form and with a new twist. The humans believe in a more Greek and Roman system and believe in the multiple Gods of Cobol. The Cylons, a group of robots and human androids remember, actually believe in One God, The God. It’s truly a refreshing twist on things, running against the grain that most shows and movies portray of the godless, evil robots putting the moral humans up against the death wall only to have an act of God spare the humans and save the day. Another nice twist is the Cylons understanding and almost mastery of human emotions. These aren’t just bland toasters, these robots think and feel and have needs of their own. The writers also make use of science fiction to examine contemporary social, moral, and ethical issues in allegory and yet in the midst of all this, they also manage to keep you guessing and on your toes with every episode. Plus it’s nice to see a show that doesn’t run with the “Look how powerful the humans are now!” storyline and instead stick with a “Holy Christ, our race is about to be extinct and we have no idea what we’re doing” theme.

But in the end, the show basically boils down to one thing: Hope. These people have nothing but hope keeping them alive; hope that they can stay ahead of the Cylon army that’s chasing them for just another day, hope that their supplies won’t run out before it’s too late, hope that Earth is something more than just a myth. Hope.

So if you find you have a long weekend (ok, it might take you a full week or two actually) of nothing to do and trust in my judgment of the current Top 10 Shows on Television, head on down to Blockbuster and rent the miniseries / first 2 seasons on DVD. You’ve got until next October and I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Oh yeah, I think I should also go ahead and crown Battlestar Galactica as having the best theme music and opening sequence, possible of all time. They picked the perfect song and clips to depict nothing but absolute despair and desperation and I literally get goose bumps every time I see/hear it.

That’s right, literally.