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When I woke up this morning around 0200 (yes, woke up. Don’t even begin to ask how f-ed up my sleeping patterns are right now), I decided to stay in bed and watch Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. And all I can say is, Wow.

I can see why this movie is ranked #35 over on IMDB. It’s one of those movies which is so good, you start breaking words apart simply so you can lengthen the time you spend praising it. For instance, when the movie ended, I didn’t just say out loud to Koral and Casper, “That was beautiful,” oh no, I broke it down into syllables. “That…..was….beau-ti-ful.” It’s basically Memento with a love story and I honestly don’t even think The Birthday Syndrome had anything to do with how awesome I thought the move was.

I’m a strong believer in The Birthday Syndrome. For those unenlightened souls out there who have yet to ever hear about the syndrome I made up in my head, it goes a little something like this: On your birthday, everything seems a little better than it really is. It’s almost like an extension of the childhood Stay Home From School Syndrome, where trashy soap operas and Price As Right episodes seem heavenly, simply because you appreciate the fact that you’re not sitting through math or science at that very moment. But The Birthday Syndrome extends to the entire day and goes far beyond the realm of daytime television. TBS unexplainably enhances your daily activities from morning till night. You’ll wake up feeling more refreshed, you’ll have an extra dose of energy throughout the day, and your pillow will feel softer when you finally plop your head down. The sugar in your birthday cake will taste sweeter, your rum & cokes will be, um, more rum & cokier, and suffice to say everything else will be more everything elseier.

So to all you people out there who bitch and whine about how old you are when your birthday comes around, stop wasting your only Birthday Syndrome of the year and enjoy it. And if that doesn’t work, go watch Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind and stop raining on my parade. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to watch a funnier episode of The Daily Show and eat some of that sickly sweet birthday cake upstairs.