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48-3.

Forty-eight to three.

We had a real nail biter, folks!

It was the worst loss by the Packers since 1980. It was the biggest win by the Ravens. Ever. Before this game, the Packers’ biggest loss this year was only by 14 points. In fact, they’ve lost 4 games by a combined 9 points and even though they were 3-10, they’d outscored their season opponents thanks to a 52-3 victory earlier this season. Coming into this game, the Packers had the #1 pass defense in the league and yet somehow they made Kyle Boller look like Peyton Manning. I could go on and on with game analysis, such as how I don’t think the Packers managed to cover the Ravens’ TE once or how Favre made one hell of a horrible throw straight to Deion Sanders, but you don’t need me for that when there’s ESPN.com’s recap of the game.

Instead, I’ll talk about what really mattered - the kickass time Waynus, Clay, and myself had throughout the entire night. It all began with us getting lost after only 10 minutes on the road. I’ll be completely honest and say I’ve never had any major complications navigating my way anywhere. Large cities with only one-way streets, empty back road, foreign countries, even places where I don’t speak the language - you name it, I can navigate it. Give me a destination (and if you’re kind, a map, but even that’s not required) and I’ll get you there directly and quickly.

And then I came to Northern Virginia.

Jesus CHRIST I hate driving up here. The main problem is that we are so close to both Maryland and West Virginia that even if you’re going some place that’s in Virginia, it’s still quicker to leave the state and then renter it elsewhere. But the problem with that is the name of roads and highways are constantly changing. You’ll be on Virginia Route 255 and then it will become West Virginia Scenic Road 36 and you’ll see signs pointing you to Maryland or further into West Virginia and you have no fucking idea which one takes you back to Virginia so that you can get on Virginia Piddly Ass Route Number Who The Hell Knows. To make matters worse, both Mapquest and now Yahoo Maps are horrible at giving directions up here. I’ve heard plenty of complaints from people saying Mapquest gave them wrong directions, but I never believed them until two years ago when it told Clay and I to take a highway that didn’t exist. Ever since that little incident, I’d been wary of Mapquest and thus when it came to getting directions for this trip, I turned to Yahoo Maps. Well, as we got on the road, I handed the directions to Tommy and he soon began mumbling under his breath. I asked him what was up and he finally voiced his concern.

Waynus: Uh, Goob, I don’t think these directions are right.
Goob: Why? What’s wrong?
Waynus: Well, um, they kinda tell us to go in two different directions.
Goob: What the hell are you talking about?
Waynus: Well like right here, it says to take 360 South for 25 miles. Then the very next step is to make two left turns and take 360 North for 23 miles.
Goob: Oh you’ve got to be shitting me…Give me those.

I pulled over, looked at them, and decided it was time to cut our losses early since we wanted to go EAST! I pulled out a map from the back of my truck, thrust it into his lap, and told him to guide me. We made a few turns, got even further lost, and I finally decided if we wanted to get there on time, I was gonna have to swallow my pride and ask for directions. I pulled into a trucker stop and went to ask the attendant where the hell Baltimore was. She gave me one of those blank looks, that kind which scream, “I’m an inbred retard whose lived here my entire life and I ain’t never heard of no Balt Two More you taulkin’ ’bout” and that’s when a trucker behind me heard I was asking for directions and began talking. See, that’s what I love about truckers; they are so damn friendly and helpful, especially to those lost souls like myself who are just wandering the streets trying to get to the damn Packers game. Five minutes later we were back on the road and headed in the right direction. An hour later I finally let out a string of expletives as I realized his directions were only taking us into Pennsylvania and I believe that’s when I uttered the now infamous saying of “I’m sick of these mother fucking hillbilly back roads. Get me to a blue line, Tommy.” A blue line means Interstate for those of you who’ve never looked at a map and luckily the shit ass town we were in was relatively close to one. We found it, let it take us out of redneck country, and were pulling into a parking space an hour and a half later.

We arrived just in time to see Baltimore score. Then they scored again pretty quickly. I think we got ourselves a field goal after that and then there was a flurry of Raven celebrations and people leaving the stadium. Some points of highlight, however:

• I don’t think I’ve ever been as cold as I was that night. Before the game, weather.com had the wind chill at 19 degrees and like I said, that was three hours before the game. Who knows how much colder it got while we drove there. Factor in the facts that our seats were in the upper deck, where there was more wind, and that I was wearing ONLY a Favre jersey, a sweatshirt, jeans, and tennis shoes and you can see why I was cold. I literally lost feeling in all my limbs. Waynus and Clay didn’t fare much better.
• The guys behind were hilarious. Hil-ar-io-us. By the second quarter they were busting out the Mike Sherman jokes and by the end of the game, I had tears frozen to my face from all the laughter.
• We got to see Sam Gado tear his MCL, which means the we are now on our SIXTH STRING running back. With all the injuries we’ve had this year, we felt privileged to have been able to witness at least one of them
• Favre made one hell of a pass for about 35 yards to Chatman that was classic, vintage Favre. He also threaded a tight one to Donald Driver right up the middle. Driver managed to catch it, hold on to it for the first down, and take a hit in mid air and from behind from one of the safeties. Two very sweet ass plays.
• The Ravens’ scoreboard clips were by far the worst of any professional sports team I’ve seen to date. They only have one clip for first down and since the Ravens were getting them so often, it played over and over and over. By the end of the game, we knew it by heart and were even making the few remaining people around us burst into laughter every time we mocked it.
• When the Ravens scored their 41st point, I believe, I turned to Waynus and Clay and screamed, “Well kids, I hope you enjoyed your Christmas presents!” Then, as their kicked booted the extra point, I screamed, “And your birthday presents, too!” Laughter quickly ensued.

After the game, we went back to the car to thaw for 20 minutes or so before making the drive home (which, I’m proud to report, I made in only 105 minutes. No more maps for me on getting to Baltimore, thank God). Of course it sucked watching our favorite team get pounded like that, but I think Waynus summed it up best when he said, “In twenty years I’m not gonna remember who the hell won this game. But I will remember that I got to see Favre play once in person and that’s all that matters.”

And he’s right. Whether Favre retires after this season, or next, or beyond, I just wanted to make sure my brothers were able to watch him play once. It’s not everyday that you have an opportunity to watch the best QB of our generation play. But even more importantly, we had a blast during the evening and hopefully won’t forget it for years to come.