I’ve yet to scrub the marker off my head…
March 25th, 2005 at 11:54 pm in AussieThere’s nothing quite like waking up to “I heart penis” being written on your scalp. What, you say you’ve never had that happen to you? Oh, you’re missing out. In one ever need a reminder that they are living in a dorm, there’s nothing better than writing obscenities on the bare skin of a sleeping man. Needless to say, I was that sleeping man and that’s exactly what I awoke to yesterday morning courtesy of Sez and Memma. Guess I was asking for it when I left my door unlocked Thursday night.
And speaking of Thursday night. It’s Easter break this weekend, which means that we got yesterday as well as next Monday and Tuesday off from school. Therefore, about half of the people here left on Thursday and the other half were leaving on Friday to go home and spend the weekend with their families. Those of us that were still here on Thursday figured the night would be calm and docile since most people were leaving early the next morning. Hannah, Simon, and I spent some time Wandering (a favorite pastime of people in Edwards Hall. If you find that you’re bored, you go Wander and walk up and down the corridors. When you find an open room, you walk in, introduce yourself, and talk to the inhabitants. But you spend no more than 5 minutes per room. That’s key.) As we were coming back into Cutler House, we decided to have a little fun with somebody who wasn’t here. I can’t really say what or who because they may be reading Shyzer while on their Easter Break (although I doubt it) but I don’t want to ruin the not-so-funny-for-them-but-hilarious-for-us “surprise” when they get back. By this time, Sez had come out and we all went back into her room to talk. Then before we knew it, Dutch Dave, Alex, Casey, and a whole cast of people I’d never met before were all in our corridor, drinking, socializing, and having a damn good time.
And that’s why I love where I live. Only two people out of the 26 from USC who came here received on-campus housing. There was no rhyme or reason as to who or why, that’s just the way it was. To say that I was lucky doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface, for not only did I get housing, but I was placed on easily the best corridor in Edwards Hall (knows as TEDS). TEDS has two dorms, Cutler and Burnett Houses. Each has three floors (Ground, First, Second) and three wings (East, West, North). That means that there were 18 possibly corridors I could have been placed on and I just happened to stumble onto Cutler Ground East Corridor. If I ever meet the person who selected me to receive housing and then placed me on this corridor, I might just plant a big, wet, sloppy one right across their face.
Sure, we’ve got a few people on this corridor who we never see (ie. the two other Americans who do nothing but hang out with other Americans) but that just means we have a better impression of our corridor. We’re only seeing the people that we like. Take my example from the night before last. Almost every other corridor was dark and quiet. Anybody who was awake and wanted to have some fun was down here on our hall, hanging out and doing their thing. Noise curfew be damned because we didn’t have anybody sleeping! Each and every person who was still here decided to come out, be social, and have some fun.
And that’s what makes this place so much different than my stays in the dorms back home. Maybe it was the fact that I generally loathed all the people who lived around me my first two years of Uni. In fact, I’m sure that had something to do with it. I lived next to some genuine assholes during Year 1 and I know that helped make me jaded about the whole process. It seemed like all they wanted to do was get drunk in their rooms, go out and get drunk, or smoke some weed and then get drunk. I didn’t drink back then and therefore, I was more into the “let’s try and have fun not drinking” mentality, but that didn’t really work for those guys. During Year 2, I lived on a corridor that seemed to act like socializing was an act of Satan. I literally can’t remember a single person leaving their door open while they were home. I’m not exaggerating either. You could offer me a million dollars to name a single person off that hallway (of my Year 1 hallway for that matter) and let’s just say that I wouldn’t be making any plans to retire soon.
So as I sat in Sez’s room, listening to Dave sing a hilarious drunken rendition of a Dutch children’s song, I began to think that being placed on this corridor was a bit of Karma balancing itself out. I think I earned it after my two year sentence in Larborde and Capstone.
But back to Thursday night. Like I said, Dave was again up to his antics and Hannah managed to record him using her camera. In fact, I managed to snag a copy of the videos and find a place for them on Shyzer’s new Media page, so if you want to hear a drunk Dutch guy sing, here’s your chance. Anyway, around midnight Sez, Alex, and I got the munchies. Somebody mentioned cereal as a possible remedy and so we ventured down to the Tea Room. There was only enough milk for two bowl, so I just started throwing the cereal up and catching it in my mouth. Soon I had Sez and Alex doing it in an effort to see who could catch the most in a row without missing. The competition soon grew into throwing cereal at each other’s mouths and before we knew it, we had constructed mini-catapults to launch cereal at Alex. It was around this point where I deemed grabbing my camcorder might pay off and my intuitions turned out to be correct. A Cereal War quickly ensued where all three of us did nothing short of shoving two boxes worth of cereal in each other’s hair and down our pants. An hour later we were all in the three showers laughing and talking of how much cereal was in places cereal wasn’t meant to go. I managed to grab 35 minutes worth of footage, which is sitting on Alex’s computer. Only problem is that it’s about 10 gigs, so compressing it is in order before I can get it up here on Shyzer.
I think the capper of the evening was when I climbed into bed. It was close to 0600 and I had just started to drift off to sleep when the phone rang. You know the feeling when your on the verge of that wonderful, intoxicating feeling of sleep as its warm grasp envelopes your body only to have a loud, piercing noise scare it away? Well imagine that, only twenty times worse when I heard that phone ring. I grabbed the receiver, picked it up, and started off with a pleasant “Okay, which one of you moth^*( f$*#ing bastards just work me up?! I’m going to kill you!”
Imagine my surprise when I heard my mom laughing her head off on the other end. I wish everybody had such a great sense of humor as my family does.

FELLNER
Shyzer has officially merged with Goob’s Australia friends. There’s no hope for the rest of us. I’m not sure if he even remembers our names over here anymore. Maybe it should be remamed Shyzer 2.0 or something…it’s not even endorsed by our own House of Representatives anymore! geez…
Jaime
Ya know, it was more fun when it was all secret cause we had a brief moment of the “good” stuff when he was brutally honest about the experience. But I’ll say no more. Course I’m yet to see my postcard from him either! You’re right, he has forgotten!
Goob http://www.shyzer.com
Hey, I HAVE NOT forgotten about you guys….yet =) I know the brutally honest stuff was maybe a little better in terms of “good” stuff, but what can I say. At least this way, you’ll know that I won’t be making up stories, since if I do people will call me out on it.
And the postcards will be sent out in two weeks when I go travelling around the country during the break! I figured it’d be cooler if I actually sent some postcards from more remote locals.
But who is that “fellner” person up there commenting? Don’t remember him….