Shyzer.com

First off, I would like to register my extreme disappointment with MovableType. It supposedly has a feature where I can type and upload a post and categorize it as “future.” I then enter in the time and date and when that rolls around, the post will automatically become public. There was supposed to be a post uploaded Friday morning and then another uploaded this morning. As you can see, neither uploaded. So I’m going to trash the one that was to run today, replace it with this one, and run the Friday one tomorrow. Piece of crap MT…

I’m now back home and prepared for my trip. My apartment in Columbia is cleared out and all my stuff is packed up and ready to go. God I’m so nervous / excited. I spent Friday night here at the house with my dad, his girlfriend, and my brother just hanging out and telling old stories of crap we pulled in our younger days that always bring a smile, no matter what. Waynus and I stayed up until 0300 (yes, I’m forcing myself to get in the habit of using military time.) before getting up at 0500 to go to the Flea Market. The only reason I tell you of this is because we managed to shoot some decent footage of ourselves acting like complete assholes / 12-year-olds, so if I can ever figure out how to get my computer to recognize my camcorder, I’ll upload them to Shyzer. Chong happened to be back in town for one final week of training, so of course I went out with him and all his friends from work to Greenville. Much fun was had, even more beer was consumed, and I somehow managed to drive back to his house before crashing on his couch. A very fine sendoff with my bro if I do say so myself.

The Goob Experience also ended this afternoon. In case you’re too lazy to click the link, I’ll let you know how the bidding turned out:

Un-fucking-believable doesn’t even begin to describe that. At the start of the auction, I told many people that if it sold for $10, I’d be happy. Well, right now, I am 11.250 times as happy as I would have been. I called Waynus right before the auction ended today and we watched it go from $50 to $112.50 in a matter of minutes. I wish I had written down some of the quotes from that conversation so that I could add them to the ones below, but rest assured that “Holy fuck” was uttered many times. I had no idea who mighty320 or mystericbidder was, but I knew that I would at least be able to learn the identity of mystericbidder. Oh how very wrong I was. But first, here are some of my favorite quotes that I had enough sense to write down after they were said so that I could put them here on Shyzer

“He only bid $21?! What a pussy! Who the fuck!?” - Fellner, commenting on Boston Matt raising the bid by one dollar at a time.

“I am hoping someone will buy it for valentines day…..for me” - Different Andy, not the one who bid on the experience.

“This guy must have a tiny dick. I mean, if you were that scared to bid against me, we are talking minuscule penis action.” - Fellner, talking about Boston Matt, but before we knew it was him.

“WELL, now we’re really throwing our hat in the game. Now we’re really shaking it up, making it interesting with a big $23.50″ - Fellner, and I bet you can guess who he’s talking about.

“I might have to dip into my savings. My kids won’t be able to go to college because I bid too much on the Goob Experience. I’ll have to get some money wired to me from Switzerland.” - Still Fellner, although this was by far the most sarcastic I’ve ever heard him talk and I was rolling.

“I want to know who the fuck this person is. Now.” - Fellner upon learning he’d lost the bidding war.

“Jesus christ man, $112.50. I’m gonna sell my fucking soul on ebay” - Dave

“That is at least 2 hookers, maybe 3 if you get grungy female extras from the first mad max” - Andy, the one who bid $10.

“I feel like I haven’t earned it. No, I actually feel like I’m being taunted by this person. I want to know who it is!” - Fellner, upon learning the experience had been donated to him.

If you read the caption after that last quote correctly, then you’re probably sitting there going, “Donated to Fellner? Huh?” Well, when I received the e-bay form saying the auction had been sold, alarms immediately went off when I saw the address was 123 Main Street, New York, NY 10108. I quickly contacted the buyer and began drafting an e-mail to e-bay to complain when I got another e-mail. Mystericbidder had already sent the money to my Paypal account. Stunned, I went ahead and transferred the funds to my bank account and within a few minutes, I received an e-mail from the winner. They sent me they AIM name (which was something like Mystery9798750890987647 or whatever) and we began to talk. They asked to remain anonymous and said that they wanted to go ahead and invoke Item #11, which was the potpourri section. I asked what they wanted and they replied with “I would like you to donate every item to that roebuckrunner fellow, except for Item #3 (the pizza breadstick recipe). I’m interested to see what that tastes like.” I asked why they wanted to do this and they told me that it was a reward for his valiant bidding efforts. They said they love e-bay simply for the thrill of the last minute bidding and thought that my auction was so funny, they felt like bidding.

So, as it turns out, Fellner “won” the experience, even if he doesn’t feel like he earned it. In fact, he thinks I’m the one behind this, but I can assure you that I have no role in this whatsoever. I was paid, I had the conversation, and I was asked to make sure they remained anonymous. Craziness if you ask me. So, if you feel inclined to wish me a happy birthday today, please make sure you send the same message to Fellner. His AIM name is USCFellner or if you don’t have IM, you can do so here in the comments. But either way, all Happy Birthday requests need to make their way to him one way or the other!

I am now off to try and get this camcorder to download its files onto my computer, work on Shlyrics, and give the “cast” section a much needed update before heading overseas.

Oh, and Jaime, thank you again. Thank you so, so, so, so, so very much. That was awesome of you.