Archive for December, 2004

Damn laptop

Thursday, December 30th, 2004

I actually have two full posts sitting on my laptop waiting to be uploaded, but my laptop has finally given up and won’t connect to the Internet anymore. I would retype them on this computer, but I’m at my uncle’s office working, so no time for that. I’ll have to look around here and try to find a floppy or USB disk.

While you’re waiting for my new post, make sure you go read up on this. If I meet one more person who asks me what a “Tsunami” is or why the news keeps talking about all those “slant eyes” over there, I’m going to beat them with a blunt object for a minimum of four hours. You’ve been warned. With that said, I’ll leave you with this:

I hope Secretary of State Colin Powell was privately embarrassed when, two days into the catastrophic disaster that hit 12 of the world’s poorer countries and will cost billions of dollars to meliorate, he held a press conference to say that America, the world’s richest nation, would contribute $15 million. That’s less than half of what Republicans plan to spend on the Bush inaugural festivities.

I love plane trips

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004

Off to California. New post tonight.

As you can see, I’m still alive.

Monday, December 27th, 2004

Happy Birthday Waynus. Even if it is a day late.

I can’t believe it’s already been a year. God I still miss you. My family’s old computer died this past summer and my mom finally gave it to me to see if there was anything salvageable. I managed to get the computer up and running and so I started going through all the old files seeing if there was anything worth keeping. That’s when I found our old IM Logs and read all the IMs that were sent last year about Tan. I had forgotten some of the great things people said about him and it took everything I had not to lose it. You’re still missed Bro.

Well, it’s been what, a week, since I’ve posted? Sorry bout that. However, judging from my vistors counter, not many of you have noticed. I’m home for Christmas and frankly I haven’t been on the computer longer than 10 minutes at a time. Tommy and Clay have had the Internet hooked up to their X-Boxes for most of the time, so I’m lucky just to check my e-mail each day.

Remember how a week or so ago I asked for suggestions for the movie that me and my siblings were planning on making? Well, we ran into a few complications with the damn thing.

  • Equipment: First off, I realized I didn’t have the right equipment to transfer the videos over from the camcorder to my computer. After a few days of Googling and $5, I located the correct cord and had that problem solved.
  • Location: The mall here sucks. Seriously. For all the bitching I do about South Carolina being too rural, this area makes it look like a bustling metropolis in comparison. I went to check the place out earlier this week and realized that there was no way we would last ten minutes in the place before being thrown out. The malls back in South Carolina are at least big enough to where you can walk around and go in another entrance. Problem remains.
  • People: There’s nobody here to pull a prank on! I’m not sure if they all bred themselves out through marrying their siblings or what, but the total population in a 100 sq. mile radius is 12, including my family. Problem remains.

So, we realized that we were gonna have to tweak the plans before we could get something funny. It wasn’t until last night that we found a perfect Soundboard and a working microphone. Needless to say, it quickly became prank phone calling time! After mastering the perfect sound combos faster than an autistic kid solves a rubrics cube, we were off pranking people left and right. So expect those to be uploaded soon.

But what about the camcorder? Well, we still don’t know quite what we’ll be doing with it. We contemplated making a live version of a few flash files on ABS or lip “sing” a few feminine songs, but we always seem to wake up the next morning thinking that our hilarious idea from the previous night is total crap. It goes something like this:

Goob : Guys, let’s make a [insert retarded idea here] type video!
Waynus : HAHAH! Hell yeah!
Clay : That would be hilarious! And it’ll be easy too!
Goob : Okay, this idea can’t fail. I’m gonna download the software we need and make sure this hasn’t been done before.
Waynus : Okay, I’ll start thinking of ideas and write them all down!
[The following morning]
Goob : What the hell is all this crap I downloaded?
Waynus: Guys, this is a fucking retarded idea.
Clay : Yeah, who the hell came up with this shit?
[Repeat every night]

We’re almost at the point of walking around the house with the camcorder and trying to force something funny to happen. I’m gonna make this work, damnit. I hope everyone had a great Christmas. As you can see, it’s 6 AM, which means I need my sleep so that I can wake up in the morning and trash our latest idea.

Merry Christmas

Saturday, December 25th, 2004

Just stopping in to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I promise I’ll have a post later tonight or in the wee hours tomorrow morning. I’ve got tons of new pictures and possible movies to upload, so I promise it will be worth the wait. Until then…

Which USC is this again?

Sunday, December 19th, 2004

Don’t ever let it be said that I don’t care about Shyzer. Just as I was leaving Spartanburg, I learned that Shyzer had been knocked out. I thought for a minute who could help (and who I could trust with all my different passwords) and I finally realized that my little brother Clay was best suited for the job. After locating him at one of his friend’s house, he dropped everything he was doing and came home just to help me. Now that’s True Love. Needless to say, things are back up and running here at Kramerica Industries Shyzer.

As most of you already know, I’m heading to Australia soon to study for a few months. As exciting as this is, it does bring with it certain unwelcome pains in the ass, such as hunting for a new roommate to take over my apartment lease halfway through the school year. The search started in early November and while there was been a few Maybes here and there, nothing real substantial has come to fruition yet.

About a week ago, I received a call from Mike who inquired about the room. He was a recent college grad who had just been accepted into USC’s Graduate program and was looking for a place to stay next semester. I was in the process of giving him all the details when he cut me off and said he’d take it. I was flabbergasted and immediately told him I’d start letting everybody know the place was no longer available. He asked if he could drop by and sign the papers the following Tuesday and we agreed to talk around noon that day so I could give him directions. I couldn’t tell which one of us was more excited. Him for having found such a “sweet-ass, bitchin’” location or me for finally having found a warm, living body to take this $375 rent off my hands every month, including January!

Tuesday rolled around and he called just as scheduled. The conversation went something like this:

Mike: Hey dude, what’s up? I’m leaving my place now, so let me go ahead and like get some directions so that I can come check out this awesome digs of yours!
Goob: Aight, well how do you normally come into town?
Mike: Uh, like from US 20 South.
Goob: US 20 South? Where the hell is that? Okay, well then how do you normally get to I20 or I26?
Mike: Where? I’ve never heard of those. I’ve got to admit I’m new to that area, so we might have to go a little more general here.
Goob: (Confused at this point since Columbia pretty much only has I20 and I26). You’re new to the area? I thought you said you’ve been into town before. You did visit USC at least once before you agreed to go to Grad School here, right? How did you get into Columbia then?
Mike: What the hell are you talking about, dude? I’ve never been to Columbia.
Goob: Oh for the love of God. Okay, what is the nearest heavily populated city you live by? Atlanta? Charlotte? What the hell state are you coming from?!
Mike: Dude, I live in San Francisco.
Goob: (It’s finally dawned on me.) Ahhhh. Okay, well if you still want this apartment, the commute to your USC is gonna be about 5 days or so, depending on how fast you can drive.
Mike: What?!
Goob: I go to the University of South Carolina, you moron. I take it you are going to the University of Southern California? Did you not notice that my craigslist ad was placed under Charlotte? And did you not read the University of South Carolina I have in parenthesis next to USC in my ad?
Mike: Oh, you are shitting me! Dude, I was like so stoked to find a place so cheap right next to campus man! I just figured you screwed up and placed the ad under Charlotte instead of Los Angeles. Damn it, now I have no fucking place to live!
Goob: Yes, because Charlotte and Los Angeles are so commonly confused. Smooth move bud. Good luck finding a place.

And they claim to be the smarter USC.

Nobody’s questioning the hat!

Thursday, December 16th, 2004

Yes, those are ads you see over there. It’s about time Shyzer started pulling its own weight around here. I figured since I was in desperate need of cash, if I could find a way to make a few bucks a month in order to finance Shyzer, so be it. So be a dear and click whatever ad shows up for you over there. You don’t have to buy anything or read whatever web-site shows up. All you have to do is click the ads for me. It takes all of 5 seconds. And if I could get everybody who comes to Shyzer to do that once a day, then I would be set. In fact, I might even have enough money to upgrade my hosting package to give me more space. Space I could use to upload videos, such as this:

I’m heading home to Virginia tomorrow to spend the holidays with my family, which means that some last minute shopping will be done. I remember that Me + My Siblings + A Crowded Mall = Hilarity. But this time, I figured why not spread the fun to others? Why not show the world just how weird and goofy Goob and his Gooblings really act. Why not bring along a camcorder and film it?

So that’s exactly what I plan on doing. But I also figured I could give back to the people of Shyzer, which is where you all come in. Let’s pretend that on camera, my siblings and I draw things out of a hat to do in the mall. Of course, we can come up with some fun shit, but I’m sure most of you out there can too! So here’s your chance. Leave a comment and let me know what you want added into the hat. Maybe I’ll draw it. Maybe my 12-year old brother will draw it. Hell, maybe we’ll get our mom in on the action (but don’t count on it).

This should most certainly be entertaining.

Need money. Will beg for it.

Tuesday, December 14th, 2004

The title above says it all. I’m spending this week working for my uncle in an attempt to earn some much-needed money. If I wasn’t going to Australia, I’d be living comfortably now, but that darn trip is unmercifully gouging my pockets as we speak, forcing me to resort back to my old habits. At the rate I’m going, I’m gonna have to start charging a door fee or something here at Shyzer. If only I could find a way to make some quick cash on the side while working for my uncle during the day. Any and all suggestions are welcome.

I should have another post or two for Shyzer up this week though, hopefully sooner rather than later. In fact, if I don’t have one up by tonight, I want you all to pester me via IM and my cell phone. I’m not kidding.

Great movie

Saturday, December 11th, 2004

I saw Ocean’s 12 last night. Great movie. In fact, I’m off to see it again.

[EDIT] Yep, it’s still great the second time around. Especially since you know everything that might happen in the movie and can see all the jokes coming. [/EDIT]

So close, I can taste it

Thursday, December 9th, 2004

At 6:30 tonight, I will officially be done with this semester and for all practical matters, my college career. However, before those nine hours get here, I have the following to do:

  • Finish the paper I am currently working on and turn it in by 2:00. It must be 10 pages and as of now, I have 3. Oh yeah, and I’m out of things to write about on it. Maybe I should have started on this a little earlier. Wait, what’s that? It’s worth 40% of my grade? Oh, this should be interesting…
  • Write a two page paper and turn it in by 5:30.
  • Read the last 100 pages of a short novel by 5:30.
  • Take an exam at 5:30.
  • Finally pass out and give my brain the rest it so rightly deserves.

And yet even though I have all of the above to do, I am sitting here typing a Shyzer post. You all should feel honored. I’m just excited over the prospect of being finished for the semester by tonight. Now if I could just figure out how to bullshit seven more pages…

[EDIT]Upon calculating my Criminal Justice grade, I received some bad news. Out of a possible 410 points, one would need to earn 328 to make a B. I have 327. I have already scheduled a meeting with my professor for next Tuesday, so wish me luck.

I was, however, able to finish my 10 page essay (with 8 minutes to spare!) and finish the 100 pages of my novel. So…so close…so close to this being over…[/EDIT]

Where are we again?

Wednesday, December 8th, 2004

In my previous post about The Stand, I alluded to the fact that a new TV show this season was loosely based on the book. Since the show is on tonight, I figured now would be an excellent time to introduce it to everybody.

This past summer, I stumbled across a lineup of the upcoming fall television season and I have to admit I was unimpressed with most of the new shows. A Friends spin-off, something about families trading parents, and far too many “reality” shows. Whoopdie-doo. Then I happened to see ABC’s lineup and something caught my eye. The extremely short tagline said something to do about a group of airplane survivors stranded on a deserted island and suddenly there was hope. Maybe this new season might actually produce something besides “HIS FATHER’S THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY!” I did a little more prodding and found that the show was called Lost and that it would indeed revolve around the plot of a group of 46 survivors of a horrible plane wreck. The more I thought about it, the cooler the concept sounded to me and so I have to admit that going into the series premier, my expectations were dangerously high.

They have yet to be let down.

The series premier started off with a bang. Literally. The viewers found themselves looking through the eyes of Jack as he shook off the dizziness and tried to figure out just what in the hell had happened to him. He runs out onto a beachhead where he and the viewers are greeted with hysterically screaming and injured victims, the low wheezing and sputtering of a now useless plane engine, and bloodied corpses strewn across the area. Luckily, Jack remembers that he is a doctor and begins rounding up people as fast as he can. He managed to save as few people, but some are just beyond his skills. Oh yeah, and the engine sucks in a retard who runs up to it, thereby causing the engine to explode and rain fiery shrapnel down upon the survivors. Whoops.

As the episode progresses, you finally meet a few of the soon-to-be main cast members. They are as follows.

  • Jack - Mentioned earlier, the doctor and arguably main character.
  • Kate - The first person Jack managed to save, which results in her forming a special bond with him. Could love be in the air? Well, if so, Jack most certainly isn’t catching her drifts. Oh, and she’s HOT!!
  • Sayid - A former member of the Iraqi Republican Guard, he now is a US citizen who is a whiz with the electronics. It’s his idea to gut whatever electronics there are and build a distress signal box. I’ll let ya know how that turned out. His accent is pretty cool too.
  • Hurley - He too quickly takes a liking to Jack and has become his defacto right hand man. He’s a big man who certainly livens things up with his sense of humor. He gets maybe 20 lines an episode and somehow comes away with the feeling that he stole each and every scene he was in.
  • Shannon and Boone - She’s 20, he’s 22, and their siblings who love to hate each other. She’s what you might call a “stuck up, pampered, rich bitch” while you can tell he was the black sheep of the family who hated money and just wanted to be normal.
  • Sawyer - The man you want to love, but know there’s no way in hell you ever will. The very next day after crashing, Sawyer could be found digging through the personal belongings of cargo area looking for money, watches, laptops, and anything else of value. He’s also a sexist pig and lets it be known he has his eyes set on Kate.
  • Walt and Michael - Finally, some people of color! Walt is the (12 year old?) son of Michael (yes, he’s the same actor who played Link in The Matrix), although they don’t really know each other. Quickly after Walt’s birth, his parents divorced and he moved with his mother to Sydney. You quickly find out that his mom died and that Michael had went to pick Walt up to come live with him in the states. I smell awkwardness! Oh yeah, Walt has a dog named Vincent who also survived the crash. He’s cool.
  • Jin and Sun - More minorities! Although, these two are Korean and don’t speak a lick of English! More on them in a little bit.
  • Charlie - Yes, Charlie was one of the hobbits in LOTR. Move on you nerds. In Lost, Charlie plays the roll of an ex-rock star. His band was awesome in early 90s, but has since fallen on hard times. Charlie is also a drug addict who is about to unwilling go through rehab thanks to the fact that he only has a week’s worth of crack in his luggage.
  • Claire - She’s pregnant, she’s alone, she’s cute, and she’s about to pop. Damn. Good thing there’s a doctor on the island. But wait a minute; the producers are toying with killing her! NOOO!
  • Locke - Ah, Locke. I saved the best for last. Locke is probably one of the coolest characters on television in a long time. The producers of the show continually make him out to be a good guy (He tracked and found Walt-s dog Vincent, he-s shown the group how to hunt and live off the land, and he helped Charlie get over his drug addiction.) Yet at the same time, they continually make him out to be the bad guy as well by zooming the camera in on his eerie grin and playing spooky music at the end of his scenes. He’s probably the oldest guy on the island, easily the oldest out of all the main character and he seems to want to stay on the island. He keeps talking about his “miracle” and nobody knows what in the hell he is talking about. But mostly he’s just damn cool.

The subsequent episodes take a neat spin. From episode 2 up until now and probably for the rest of the year, they have focused not only on the trials and tribulations of the survivors, but on one certain person’s background. Again, here is the character list and what we have learned about each character so far from their personal episode.

  • Jack - He was on his way back home to the US after traveling to Sydney. Why was he there? To pick up his dead father and bring his body home. We also learn that when Jack was younger, his dad used to beat him and tell him he was too dumb to become a doctor, so of course he’s got some issues there.
  • Kate - In probably the first real twist of the show, we learn that sweet, (and HOT) Kate was being “escorted” back to the US by a Federal Marshall. Jack is the only person who saw her mug shot and when Kate tries to tell him why she’s a convict, he cuts her off telling her he doesn’t want to know.
  • Sayid - As stated earlier, Sayid worked as an interrogator for the Iraqi Republican Guard. However, one day he is forced to interrogate a Kurdish childhood girlfriend of his and she is able to show him the evilness in what he does. At the end of the episode, we see him shoot his boss and smuggle her out of the detention facility, but we don’t know how he managed to escape or what he did after he got out. He also carries with him a picture of the girl, who he says is dead.
  • Hurley - No episode yet.
  • Shannon and Boone - No episode yet.
  • Sawyer - Not surprisingly, Sawyer was a con artist in his previous life. He finds married women, seduces them, and then swindles the family out of thousands of dollars though some fake “oil investment” plan. However, near the end of the episode, we see him just about to steal twenty thousand dollars when the couple’s child walks in the room. He freezes, drops the money, and runs out of the house. Back on the island, Kate finds a letter that Sawyer carries with him postmarked back in 1976. It’s written by a child to a “Mr. Sawyer” and vows revenge. Apparently this “Mr. Sawyer” stole money from the child’s family and forced his parents to commit suicide. Kate puts two and two together and realizes that the letter was indeed written by Sawyer himself and that somewhere along the line, he simply became “Mr. Sawyer.”
  • Walt and Michael - No episode yet.
  • Jin and Sun - Jin is a lowly waiter who manages to win the heart of Sun, the daughter of a wealthy businessman. To marry Sun and receive her father’s blessings, Jin goes to work for her dad. Over the years, things get rough and Sun realizes that Jin’s job for her father is killing their relationship. She secretly learns English and plans to leave him while they are at the airport when she suddenly realizes that everything he did and suffered through was out of love for her, so she decides to get on the plane with him and stick it out.
  • Charlie - His flashback spans over about a decade. It starts off with him as the good little boy who can play a mean guitar. His older brother pleads and pleads with him to start a rock band and when they do, they are an instant him. Charlie has no interest in drugs, but he catches his older brother with them and eventually starts taking them himself. Since then, the band broke up and Charlie’s brother got himself cleaned up, married, and settled down with kids while Charlie is still in the gutter and trying to “bring the band back.”
  • Claire - Her episode was last week and DAMN! Claire is the Australian Cutie who learned 9 months before getting on the plane that not even birth control pills are 100%. The boy who knocks her up freaks and runs off, leaving here with no choice but to have the baby and give him up for adoption. Meanwhile, she goes to a psychic just for kicks, but he freaks out and demands that she keep the baby. Shocked (since she’s only 2 months pregnant), she demands to know why and he pretty much tells her that the baby will become the next Hitler without her loving influence. He keeps telling her that nobody but her can keep this child from becoming evil and so she runs out of his office. For the next 7 months, he keeps calling and showing up at her house pleading with her to keep the baby and just before she is to sign the adoption papers, she goes to him just to hear him out and see what his plan is. He hands her $10,000 and a plane ticket for later that day. He tells her that she must take THIS plane and no other plane to LA and that when she gets there, a loving couple will adopt the baby. She gets on the plane and of course it crashes. As she is telling Charlie her story, she makes the remark of “Well, I guess he wasn’t too psychic since I’ll never see that couple now” and then it dawns on her. There never was any couple. The psychic knew the plane was going to crash and by getting her on that plane, he forced her into keeping the baby.
  • Locke - Locke! Again, I saved the best for last. In Locke’s episode, we see that in his past life he was a Nobody. He worked in a small cubicle, played RISK during his lunch break by himself, and was made fun of by everybody he came into contact with. He acts as if he is somebody of importance, somebody destined to greatness, but every time he brings this up, they laugh at him. We see that he is extremely excited about his upcoming trip to Australia where he is going to partake in a three week trek through the Outback on a tour. Later, we see him in the Australian office being rejected for the trek and he is outraged, saying he has looked forward to and trained for this for over three years. The agent responds with “Yeah, but you didn’t tell us about your ‘condition’” and the camera pans out to show how he is sitting in a wheelchair. At the close of his episode, we relive the tragic plane crash again and find Locke lying on the beach. As he comes to, he sits and up notices that his shows were blown off. And then his toes wiggle. His eyes grown huge as he slowly lifts his legs in the air and pulls himself up to stand. Someway, somehow, the crash “cured” him and enabled him to walk again.

But, of course, most of the show is centered around their daily lives on the island. You learn that the plane, traveling from Sydney to LA, ran into some foul weather. The dieing pilot uses his last breath to explain that the transceiver was knocked out of commission and that the plane was flown hundred of miles off course in an attempt to get around the storm. So, in short, nobody on the outside world knows about the plane’s diversion and therefore, they’re unlikely to search where the survivors now are. There are apparently other people who have been stranded on this island before hand since a few skeletal remains have been found. Sayid managed to pick up a French distress signal that’s been broadcasting continuously from the island for the past 16 years, but he was attacked by an unknown assailant before he could locate its source. Oh, yeah, and when nighttime falls, ear piercing roars can be heard from deep within the jungle as treetops are visibly pushed over and stomped to the ground. Fun stuff!

So, getting back to my original point, remember how I said this show was loosely based on The Stand? Well, the similarities are already beginning to take shape. Jack, being the reasonable thinker that he is, realizes that some newly discovered caves would offer better protection that the beach. He also finds a fresh water spring nearby, which further encourages him to move. However, the rest of the survivors aren’t so sure since they don’t want to abandon the beach and give up hope in being rescued. He does, however, convince a small chunk of people to come with him and finally, we begin to see the separation that occurred in The Stand. As of now, Hurley, Walt and Michael, Jin and Sun, Charlie, and Locke have joined Jack, as well as some other, unknown people.

The rest have stayed on the beach and frankly, this show just seems to get better and better each and every week. The music is outstanding (I’ve already downloaded many episode and ripped about six songs straight to my iPod since they are all orchestral pieces I have no way of finding the names to.) The camera work and acting is light years above and beyond other “dramas” like ER, Law & Order, or C.S.I. And the flashbacks are the added touch that seals the deal. So, if my rambling here hasn’t already convinced you to give the show a try, well…give the damn show a try! There’s one more episode tonight before the Holiday Break (ABC @ 8:00) and I promise if you just give it a try, you’ll become addicted.

I swear, ABC should pay me for pimping this damn show out so much.