Shyzer.com

Well, like I promised, I’ve finally finished putting together the final round of the Best of Shyzer. The field was narrowed from 15 to 5 and I cut some of the fluff questions down, so the voting process should go much smoother and quicker now. That said, there is now absolutely no reason for any of you reading this not to go vote! Don’t piss me off and give me some poor ass performance like you did last time (but to those who voted last time - you’re awesome. Now keep your awesomeness by voting again!)

Some of the posts I had nominated before were strikingly similar, so I decided to merge them.

1. The Catch - This post is basically a narrative of “the catch” I made back in November ‘03 during an intramural softball game. I wish I could say there is some sort of hidden message within it or something more to it, but honestly it’s just a story about how I love baseball and how I love playing the outfield.
2. Tan Nguyen and Week 1 - Before the previous round, I had trouble deciding if I should include posts like these, but in the end, I decided not to place a filter on the vote. And judging from the votes, the voters agreed with my decisions. These posts are basically a somber reaction to the sudden news that one of my best friends had passed away right after Christmas in ‘03. They both produced massive amounts of feedback from people I never even knew read Shyzer, which definitely helped with the hard healing process that I had just begun to embark upon.
3. Part I & Part II of The Creation Education Science Fair - Probably one of the best and most well received posts I’ve ever made. This two-part entry was made in Feb. ‘04 and basically cracks fun at one of the most extreme Christian groups I have ever encountered.
4. Reunion, Part I and Reunion, Part III - These are the first and third parts in an overall three part post that I made back in April ‘04. The first deals with the special and complex relationship I’ve had with my father while the third was a Good-bye to my longtime girlfriend.
5. Only In Spartanburg - This post probably produced the most feedback outside of Shyzer, which lead me to see just how many people actually read my little corner of the net. In it, I mock the botched handling of a hostage situation in Spartanburg over the summer of ‘04 and the pathetic news coverage by FOX.

So there you have it. As an added bonus, I’ve gone back and done a little editing on all 5 posts. I was aiming mainly at typos, poor grammar and sentences, etc. instead of trying to rewrite each post, so you probably won’t see a huge difference. But I was just looking to enhance the main flow of each post so that you didn’t find yourself stopping to go “wait a minute…what’s he trying to say here?”

So please, go vote here and let your opinion be heard! I promise, there is more to this than me just wanting to see what post I’ve written is the best. You’ll just have to wait and see for yourselves =)

To everybody who complimented me on the post I made about the election, a big hearty “thanks” goes out to each and every one of you. Special thanks to Ally and Angela, who both had kind words and whose sites I hope each and every one of you check out from time to time.

Anyways, I remember last week I also thanked all the people who voted in the first round of The Best of Shyzer. I’ll be honest and say I expected more votes to be cast than actually were, but I wasn’t disappointed with the overall numbers. I thought that maybe having people try and choose from 15 different posts was a bit much, so for the last and final round, I’ve narrowed the field down to 5. I hope to pound out a rough post for that late tonight and upload it sometime tomorrow, so be sure to come back for that.

I’m also working on a post that will have something to do with the not-so-covert message I used for a closing in the last post. Anybody whose talked to me in person has quickly learned its one of the only things I can talk about and frankly, I can’t wait to write about it. I’m forcing myself to wait until Wednesday, however, because I will have many answers to many questions after that evening.

So what’s the point of this post? None that I can think of so far. I would write about this past weekend, but each and every hilarious scenario I went through was one of those “you had to be there” type things. Friday night I went and played in some huge game called The Great Race, which was kind of like a Survivor type game. While our team might not have won, I can confidently say that our team name (The Lactose Intolerant Spotted Geckos) and our team cheer (which basically was about us drinking milk and having it go “all the way out”) kicked all the other team’s asses. Saturday night brought with it a drunken Jackson Crossing show, which was off the hilarity charts. Of all the countless times I have seen them perform, I have never seen Mike (the lead singer) drunk while trying to sing. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. And Sunday I traveled back to Spartanburg for a family reunion, which again provided some hilarious situations. So all in all, a great weekend.

It’s time for me to go work now. Since this post sucked some major ass, I updated the cam picture over there. And check back tonight, I promise to have something a little more worth while to read posted. Until then.

*Note, I wrote this last night before the results were in. I was just too lazy / tired to find a floppy disk and transfer it over to Shyzer off my laptop. So ignore the “whoever wins” attitude that I have.*

Well, here I sit at 10PM, before any of the real election results have been turned in, watching The Daily Show Live, and trying to figure out how in the name of all things Holy to put these thoughts I have onto paper…or, Microsoft Word I should say. For some reason, the task seems a thousand times more daunting than the major test I have on Friday in Latin or trying to finish this senior thesis paper or curing cancer. So let’s start this post as I start any other overwhelming task I partake in; by starting from the beginning. Using the best sugarcoating skills I own, I guess I could sum up my feelings in two points and go from there.

(1) The Democrats will lose this election because of their own fears and incompetence that they were simply either too stupid or too afraid to face.

(2) There is a growing part of me that is thrilled over this, for I hope it will either break or make the Democratic party for my lifetime. And personally, I’m hoping and cheering for some Break.

Let’s see here, Point 1. Well, Jesus, is this even at all surprising? Okay, maybe not to some, so let me try and explain where I’m coming from. It’s no secret that I was a staunch Howard Dean supporter. Why? Because he inspired me. He alone motivated me to go out and vote this year. He was the source of my revitalized interests in politics and he never failed to check his political rhetoric at the door, instead, opting to openly speak his mind. He was the proverbial “fresh air” that so many Democrats have cried out for over the past decades.

So what did the Democrats do? They shied away from Dean in fear. As soon as the first “How will this guy poll? Maybe undecided NASCAR Dads and Moral Moms won’t vote for him” seeds were planted, the Democrats fled and weaseled their way to a “safe” candidate. Their chosen replacement for Mr. Dean? John F. Kerry, the most non-personal, placid, docile person available who was unable to parlay his goals and visions to the American public in a clear and concise method. The Democrats allowed fear to overtake the entire party, not realizing that the entire “swing voters” were looking for somebody, anybody who could say where they opposed President Bush and what they planned to do about it. Howard Dean was more than willing to do so from the beginning. John Kerry was amazingly unable to do so from the beginning. And yet, the Democrats still chose a “comfortable” candidate, one who didn’t step on any toes and would make sure he always said the “right” things. Would Howard Dean have won? Who the hell knows. But I guarantee you this, he would have made this race much more clear cut. He was the Democrats best chance at rallying and inspiring massive amounts of support through his ideas, but the Democrats chose to hang their future on another strategy. And what was it?

The “lesser of two evils” and “he’s not Bush!” strategy. Wonderful. Instead of finding and supporting a candidate who inspires and gives you hope, you people decided to get behind a person because he isn’t somebody else! What the hell is wrong with this party?! If Kerry does get elected, he won’t stand a chance at being reelected in four years. The “Anybody but Bush” support will have vanished by then and where will that leave the party? With an unenthusiastic, bland President going up against the likes of a Senator McCain or Rudy Giuliani. The Presidential election of 2008 will be disastrous for the Democrats and I am simply left here shaking my head wondering who fell asleep at the watch here? Who failed to raise their hand and point out that sometimes you have to nominate the dark horse, especially when HALF THE COUNTRY HATES THE CURRENT PRESIDENT! What better time IS there to nominate a dark horse?!

Anybody But Bush. Jesus H Christ. How in the HELL did nobody see this as a grotesque and monstrous error that could only lead to failure!? What does the Democratic party stand for? If I didn’t keep up with the news and only listened to the statements and slogans they put out instead of digging through all the bullshit, which is the case with the majority of people in America who are a bit too busy with raising their kids and getting their next paycheck, I’d say the Democrats simply wanted Kerry elected because his last name wasn’t spelled B-U-S-H. Way to go guys! I honestly wonder if I will ever see another monumental fuck up like you guys just pulled in my lifetime.

Which brings me to Point 2. As I said, President Bush handed this election on a silver platter to the Democrats and they still were unable to win, which only furthers my belief that the Democratic party is too inept for their own good. So why does this make me happy deep down inside? Why does this please that little voice in my gut that seems to be saying “this is actually good for us, Ryan. This is the beginning of something greater.” Because maybe, just maybe, this might be the failure I’ve been waiting for that will help jumpstart the rise of a true third party, which is something I think would give this whole process we call “elections” a full dose of reality. No longer would either of the two major parties be able to hide behind the veil of ambiguity and misdirection. They would both be forced to provide solutions instead of the political rhetoric that we are all so accustomed to by now. That is, if they wanted to keep their power. Otherwise, there would be other parties ready to step in, ready to shove aside the old and usher in the new. You think a three or four or ninety party system doesn’t work better then a two party system? Take a good, strong look at history my friends. Hell, take a look at Europe in the present, where virtually every country has at least three major parties.

And don’t tell me that it can’t happen here in America. Back when this great nation was clawing it’s way out of infancy, the two main parties were the Whigs and the Democrat-Republicans, who soon shortened their name to the Democrats. However, the seeds of a new party were planted in the early 1800s and any by 1856, they finally emerged as a viable alternative campaigning under an anti-slavery, pro-expansion, and pro-North ticket. Only four short years later, they won the Presidency. You might have heard of their candidate, a Mr. Abraham Lincoln. This new party also decided to pick up the name that the Democrats dropped and began calling themselves The Republican Party of the United States of America. Somehow, people find it interesting that it was indeed the Republicans who freed the slaves and ruled the North during the Civil War. 80 years later, the party found that they had taken a complete 180 turn as they campaigned against the Civil Rights, but we’ll save that argument for another day. But it’s not just America that’s seen the rise of alternate parties before. Sure, their end result might have been just a smudge different then what they promised, but the Communists in Russia and China, the Fascists in Italy, and those pesky little Nazis in Germany all came out of nowhere to form a viable alternative to the standing parties.

I’m tired of being chastised for “throwing my vote away.” I’m tired of people telling me that nobody but Bush or Kerry has a chance of winning, so why waste my time? And most of all, I’m tired of the overall feeling people have that unless things change now, this very moment, then what’s the point of voting? You don’t think I know that no matter who I vote for, Kerry or Bush will win? Come on now, give me a little more credit than that! I’m not looking at this election. I’m looking at 40 or 50 years down the road. I’m looking at building the foundation for a new party, one that is certain to change in shape and form by the end result, but one that can finally rise up and say “no more, we’ve had enough of your bullshit.” Maybe I’ll be able to give my children or grandchildren the opportunity to realistically be able to choose from three or more parties, and that, to me, is more precious and valuable then anything else.

So as I sit here reading over this and noticing that President Bush should pretty much win this election, I can only sit back, shake my head in disgust, but smile at the same time. Sure, the next four years are going to be devastating to our foreign relations, our environment, and our civil rights. But those are all fixable, even if it seems daunting. Let the courts ban gay marriage. I don’t worry about it anymore whatsoever because anybody with half a brain realizes that 50 years down the road it will all be overturned. Let President Bush continue to blow off our allies. It might cost us our superpower status, but honestly, is this such a bad thing? If he gets us into another war, though…

This election is over and in the past now, so instead, from here on out, I’m going to focus on some of the most wonderful news I’ve ever received.

Australia, brace yourself. =)