Shyzer.com

If so, then I would suggest you move along and skip this post. This is by no means “politically correct.” You’ve been warned.

This game caught my attention the other day over on CNN.com. It took me a few minutes to shake off the pure disgust I had for the creators of the game, but at the same time, my mind started to wander. I immediately thought of some other horrible “games” that they might come up with. The few titles that had sprung to mind were so wrong, but at the same time, so unbelievably funny. So, I have decided to offer my services to this company and give them a few suggestions for future games.

Remember, I warned you. =)

• Xtreme Arafat! - You sit in bed and die slowly!
• O.J. Simpson’s Wife Hunt - Hopefully you’re black! Otherwise, it’s guilty for you!
• Princess Di’s Twisted Metal IV - Now with paparazzi!
• Sonny Bono’s Downhill Skiing Challenge - Watch out for the trees!
• Christopher Reeve’s Equestrian Extravaganza - You’re Superman! What could go wrong?!
• Mark Maples Disneyland Adventure - It’s a small world after all.
• Chris Farley & John Belushi’s Virtual Pharmacy - Last Customer Served: River Phoenix.
• Bill and Monica Play Hide & Find the Cigar - A child’s game has never been this much fun!
• Alexander Hamilton’s Dueling Glove - Never insult his honor!

And with any great video game industry, they have to come out with a sports line!

• Dale Earnhardt’s Need For Speed - Watch out for that oil slick!
• Pete Rose’s Online Casino - But remember, never bet on your own team!
• Ted Williams’ Home Popsicle Maker - For those who love a good sibling rivalry.
• Ron Artest’s Punch-Out - We love updating old classics!

But it doesn’t just stop there! They could come out with a whole line of books, making perfect gifts for that hard-to-buy, avid reader in your family!

• Abraham Lincoln’s critic of Our American Cousin - So, how’d that play turn out?
• Amelia Earhart’s Pacific Travel Guide - Want to know the best way to cross the Pacific?
• Phil Hartman’s Guide to a Successful Marriage - Just in case counseling doesn’t work.
• Adolf Hitler’s Top Ten Honeymoon Spots - First, grab some cyanide and a handgun….
• Ken Caminiti’s Workout Routine - Comes with a free sample of “muscle builder”!
• Kurt Cobain’s Guide to Happiness - I’ve seriously got to stop myself.

And finally, the one game that will eventually put this company out of business due to the public outrage sparked by its release:

• 9/11 - The Flight Simulator!

So, so, so, so wrong, yet so fun to write. =)

[EDIT]Here’s a few more that a fellow Shyzerian came up. Let’s all thank Shipman![/EDIT]

• Ted Kennedy’s X-treme Bridge Jumping: Chappaquiddick.
• Jim Jones’ Virtual Kool-Aid Stand.
• Koresh vs Reno: Armageddon in Waco.