Shyzer.com

Well during my stay in the library this weekend (which totaled somewhere around 20 hours), I typed up a short post for Shyzer. However, the disk I saved it to will only work on the computer libraries now, so I’ll have to wait until tonight before I can post it. I thought about posting some links to a few cool sites I’ve stumbled across lately, but low and behold, I don’t remember a single one of them and they are all bookmarked on my computer back home. Guess that post too will have to wait until later this week.

So for the meantime, there’s only one thing I can really think of to talk about.

For the past 21 years, my wisdom teeth and I have had an amicable relationship. I allowed them to come in half way and promised to brush and floss them twice a day. In return, they agreed not to cause me any pain or force my more permanent teeth to grow crooked.

Apparently the cease-fire has ended. Approximately five nights ago, they held a meeting while I slept where they decided, for some unbeknownst reason, to try and cause as much pain as possible. I was alerted to their mutiny and declaration to war the following morning when I awoke to a swollen mouth and massive amounts of pain. But don’t kid yourself into thinking I turned the other cheek! I responded with a two-front attack that would have humbled Eisenhower himself. Comprised of painkillers from the inside and ice packs from the outside, I vigerously fought back in an attempt to win back my mouth and more importantly, my sanity. I even authorized the mobilization of the psychological warfare division, which basically entitles the recitation of “screw you, fuckers!!” over and over. To date, the war has been neck and neck with no clear cut leader emerging.

However, my patience grows thin. I have now issued my final ultimatum. They have one week to lay down their weapons and admit defeat or else I will investigate and begin to take the steps needed for mass extermination through surgery. For a moment, I worried they might actually call my bluff since I have absolutely zero dollars to spare on any emergency surgery, but I think my pokwer face held long enough for them to see that I wasn’t kidding around. Here’s to hoping they don’t decide to play chicken and see how far I’ll go.

And people say it’s pointless to talk to yourself.