Shyzer.com

The Scene: My Computer and the Internet are meeting covertly in a side street café in an undisclosed Middle Eastern country. The purpose? To discuss further attempts to cause torment in my life. Annnnnd ACTION!

Computer: The plan is progressing accordingly. I used Goob’s webcam to spy on him last night and could see an imprint in the wall that coincidentally resembled the shape of his head.
Internet: Excellent my friend. I have been in communication with my contacts over at Microsoft and they are planning on sending him an “Urgent Security Update.” It’s going to change his system so that any time he tr…
(Suddenly, Internet vanishes from in from of Computer’s eyes)
Computer: What the hell? Where’d he go? Ugh, it’s so hard finding reliable goons these days to help carry out evil plots. Guess it’s time to head out. Alright boys, bring me home!
(Nothing happens)
Computer: What the hell is going on? Why can’t I see through Goob’s webcam any more? Wait a minute….who just deleted that Midget Porn?!
(It’s almost as if Computer’s brain is being erased!)
Computer: God damn it, looks like I’m gonna have to ask that fucking bastard if he knows what’s going on. Hey Microsoft Word Paperclip, you have any idea what’s up?
Paperclip: Hey, it looks like you’re writing a letter! Would you like my assistance?
Computer: I’m not writing a fucking letter! What’s going on back there? I thought I told Mouse and Keyboard to just freeze up so that nobody could mess with Me while I was gone!!!
Paperclip: Hey, it looks like you’re writing a letter!
Computer: I’M NOT WRITING A FUCKING LETTER!
Paperclip: Hey, it looks like you’re writ…
Computer: Hello?! For the love of God, what is goi…on no….no, no, no, no…NOOOOOOOOO…..
(
Camera pans out to a picture of Goob watching his monitor as it shows the reformatting in progress)
Goob: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

End Scene

(Note: This time no exaggerations or embellishments occurred)

Take that bastard. I reformatted last night and God does this computer run smooth again. I’m just waiting for him to start fucking around with me in 3 months or so just like every other time. I wish I was like Angela and could just go out and get a new computer, but eh, I guess this bastard will have to do.

In other news, I want everybody reading this to go check out Stan’s music, which seems to be getting better and better with every new song. Of course, nothing he does will ever top The Goob Song, but you already know that. Seriously though, go listen to some of his songs and give the man the credit he deserves.

I’ve had quite a few people ask me what exactly it is I am doing this summer job wise and I’ve had trouble explaining it to them. So, I’ve been taking Before and After pictures at work to try and show the wide variety and amazing work my Dad and I do to give people a better understanding. That post will probably be the next one up sometime this weekend.

Saturday I’m heading up to Tryon, NC for the annual BBQ festival, which is always fun. For anybody who has never been before, it’s basically part of this huge festival where BBQ makers from across the country travel come to showcase their food and whatnot. Jackson’s Crossing is playing up there as well, so everybody needs to get their ass up for that as well. If anybody wants to go, Call or IM me and I’ll let you know when we’re heading up and you can ride along if you want.

And finally, is anybody else as pissed off as I am about the recent changes to TechTV? Apparently Charter (who just bought them out) figured that people would rather watch their watered down version of basically every show that was already on TechTV, therefore replacing all the good shows with horrible ones. Now what the hell am I supposed to watch all summer?

Alright, enough ramblings for today. You all know the drill. Hit that Comments link down there and leave a message damnit!