Silly Rabbit
April 22nd, 2004 at 05:52 pmOkay Stan, this is for you bitch. I didn’t write this! I got it from somewhere else and I thought about cleaning it up, but it just wasn’t as funny after I did. Yes, there is more “fucks” in here then I usually use, but that’s what makes it funny.
And now, just for you saying you’d never let me proof another paper of yours, I am telling Caitlin nasty, NASTY things about you and forbidding her from ever talking to you again!
“You know what’s ALWAYS bothered me? Cold cereal mascots. I mean, that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT. The Trix rabbit, for example. I remember a commercial where the fucking rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKING STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKING MONEY. Fucking kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fucking mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit. “Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.” Fucking rabbit just sits there and looks depressed. That shit wouldn’t fly with me! I’d have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fucking bitches, made them go get me the REST of a “complete breakfast,” eaten the Trix right in front of them bitches, and THEN beat the shit out of them. And what the fuck is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he’s a fucking kid? I dunno about you, but if I saw a 6 foot fucking RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn’t immediately think, “Hey, there’s a cool looking human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him.” NO! I’d be thinking, “there’s a 6 foot fucking RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap…what the FUCK was I just smoking?” And another thing…what the fuck is up with cereal being “A part of this complete breakfast?” Last time I checked, cereal WAS breakfast. They show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fucking grapefruit… who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big? But back to stupid cereal mascots…Lucky Charms. FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS! Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, but he can’t escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!? C’mon now, Lucky, I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a “Blow the fucking kids up” spell SOMEWHERE! Or make “kid marshmallows” and EAT those bitches. “They’re after me Lucky Charms!”….KILL THEM, BITCH! I dunno why I went off on this rant here; it’s just always bothered me.”


Tommy
April 22nd, 2004 at 05:57 pmI was almost fucking crying when I read that
caitlin
April 22nd, 2004 at 06:26 pmi always hated captain crunch…he busts in through the wall in his giant cartoon ship and everyone is happy….how the hell do those kids explain that gigantic hole in the wall to their parents?@
Stan http://www.soundclick.com/stangable
April 22nd, 2004 at 07:37 pmDude, the unusual amount of “fuck” along with the excessive use of CAPS made it very un-Goob like. Let’s not do that again. I am disappointed in you.
Stan http://www.soundclick.com/stangable
April 22nd, 2004 at 07:38 pmI also wish for you to not proof any more of my papers until you stop doing what you just did. It’s as if you were struggling for material or something. Again, very disappointed I am.
Goob http://www.shyzer.com
April 22nd, 2004 at 08:53 pmI didn’t write it dipshit! Like I said, after I cleaned it up and made it more Goob-like, it lost its hilarity, so I left it like it was.
Stan http://www.soundclick.com/stangable
April 22nd, 2004 at 09:40 pmWell you never actually said you didn’t write it. The way you posted it made it sound like a rant of yours. Call me a dipshit one more again and see what happens!
caitlin
April 22nd, 2004 at 09:48 pmHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Goob http://www.shyzer.com
April 22nd, 2004 at 09:57 pmDamn it Caitlin, you’re undermining my authority here!!!! =)
Stan http://www.soundclick.com/stangable
April 22nd, 2004 at 10:21 pmhehehe, the girl, she laughs at you.
Angela http://bostonbrat.net
April 22nd, 2004 at 11:34 pmGoob, you SO have to send your pre-shave pictures here…
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/lighter_side/damon_disciples/
Jess http://www.xanga.com/lilmermaidDOTcom
April 23rd, 2004 at 01:32 amRegardless of who wrote it, I think this would be a great monologue to use in elementary school. I don’t know if you guys did this in school or not, but we had to memorize a monologue and then the best ones did it in front of the school. I would love to see the principal’s face if someone busted out with this one.
eddie
June 15th, 2004 at 12:06 pmthat was so fuckin funny i almost died laughing
ricky
June 15th, 2004 at 12:15 pmit was so funny i had trix in my pants