Shyzer.com

Doc

It’s no secret that my two favorite people on-line are Stan and Angela. We get along great, love the Simpsons, and make each other laugh. Their sites (in Stan’s case, whenever he pays the bills) are two of the only three site I check numerous times a day for updates. I could go on and on about these two, but it’s this third site that I want to try and introduce my readers to. A man by the name of Brian, also known as Doc, runs this third site and while we might not have ever spoken a word to each other, I feel as if I know him just as well as Stan and Angela.

You see, I came across his site around three years ago and was hooked immediately. Like I’ve said before, the first of these oh-so-addictive personal blogs that I found was that of Nicole’s over from sparkley.net. I didn’t quite understand at first. “What? You say that people actually will read the shit I type? Willingly? I was hooked and I wanted more. But after a few days, Nicole’s site wasn’t enough. I wanted to see what else was out there, so I just started clicking on the dozens of various links she had. After about twenty pages of “Lik, OMG! Brad came over two me at lunch twoday and like told me that he like wanted to date me!!! or “i hate my life. Mary told Mike who told Steve who told Betty that i like her boyfriend so that bitch came up to me and started talking all dis shit and i wuz like ‘oh no you just didn’t’ and she was all like ‘oh yes i just did!” I realized that maybe there wasn’t quite as much to this whole blogging sphere as I had initially thought. My dreams of opening up my own site were quickly fading as I realized that nobody over 15 went to or operated any of these pages. That’s when I finally checked out one of her links buried at the bottom of her page. It was titled Doctor Grosz. As if that alone wasn’t enough to perk up the interest of any red-blooded male, her description of the site included the word “panties.” Eh, it’s probably just some porn site I figured. So you can understand why I proceeded to click the link. I soon realized that there was hope as I read over the site that eventually lead to the inspiration to open Shyzer.

It doesn’t take long to figure out that Doc isn’t like most people. For starters, he’s one hell of a writer. Look back over the last few days worth of posts he’s made and you’ll begin to understand what I mean. Rarely will you ever see a recap of the boring events of his day and if you do, they don’t seem boring in the least and end up serving some sort of purpose. There’s a lesson or joke at the end that makes it all worth your while. But it’s not just his material. It’s his style that sets him apart. He operates on an entirely different wavelength; one that I’ve only been able to pick up on stormy days. He experiences the world in a way which I have yet to be able to grasp and it intrigues me more then anything else. He seems to have the experience of an 80 year old with the energy of a 5 year old wrapped up in the body and mind of a 25 year old. He’s not afraid to speak his mind, express his creativity, or show emotion. But his trait I probably admire most is his ability to articulate those twisted and confused feelings that each and every one of us experience day in and day out.

The strangest thing to me is that we seem to have nothing in common on the surface. While neither of us enjoy the majority of “popular” music, we don’t have the same taste in music. I’m led to believe he could physically disassemble a car and put it back together while I’m just lucky I know where the gas nozzle goes. He can build visually stimulating websites and paint brilliantly in his sleep. It took me a good 2 days to finish that logo up top that won’t be updated for at least another year. He would probably laugh at me for my obsession with baseball and video games. Somehow, he didn’t find humor in Seinfeld. Hell, until recently, I never even drank while he has a page on his site that breaks down what alcoholic beverages and accessories every house should contain.

And yet, if you dig a little deeper and get pass the surface, I find that we live relatively similar. When I told all my friends about the John Coltrane two-week marathon that was being broadcast, they just cocked their heads to the side and responded with ”Johnny Cold Train?” To my friends, Danger Mouse was just another rapper thug who got in the way of their Outkast and anything created before the golden 90s isn’t worth experiencing. He’s one of the few people I know who also find relaxation in spending a day working on an arts project, whether it be painting in his case or writing my book in mine, instead of staring at the TV for hours. And while it may seem silly to most that I play video games for a few hours a week, if you were to look at some of the games out now, you’d see why. I’m not talking about the popular ones like Laura Croft or Grand Theft Auto, I’m talking about RPGs such as Xenosaga and Final Fantasy IX. With their storylines, they could easily be translated into a book and be just as, if not more successful. When a video game starts debating Plato’s Cave Theory or gets you to start questioning the theory of Direct Realism, you know you’ve got something special. Sadly, people prefer just to shoot zombies or save the princess. We both love our friends and family dearly and yet we both are almost stubbornly independent. We both are viewed as outsiders, people who go against the norm. Hell, when you have nicknames like Doctor Grosz and Goob which have lasted through middle school and you still embrace them as if they were your natural name, well, you shouldn’t have trouble seeing us as being different. But most importantly, we both just seem to enjoy life, something I think that most people just don’t do.

He’s someone that seems like I would enjoy knowing in the real world; one of those guys who when you see him after spending some time apart, you’ll always be treated to a few hours of entertaining stories and still have time to go out and create new ones. His posts cover almost anything you can think of. Vegas, cops, Kinko’s, bad sex, 9-11, rediscovering old friends, nostalgic drives, getting run over by a car, how dumb people help stop the spread of spam (Get a scissors, locate modem, cut every single fucking wire that is plugged into said modem with the aforementioned scissors, and don’t go near technology again. Ever.), pig roasts, how it is not smart to turn to the Internet to find out what is medically wrong with you, and almost everything in-between.

His best piece of work, IMO, would be his essay titled “Locked, Not Loaded”. I won’t do any injustice to it by trying to summarize it. Go read it. If it doesn’t appeal to you, doesn’t strike some chord deep down in you, then go ahead and move on. Doc isn’t for you. But if it does, I’d recommend checking out the rest of his site. You won’t be disappointed. Now that I sit here and read what I’ve written, it almost feels like I’m trying to convince y’all to date him. I don’t know, I just want to show my readers another blogger out there who is definitely worth checking out and who inspired me to open up Shyzer. Enjoy.

Now I’m off to work on Project #98673 of mine….updating all these sub-pages and getting Moveable Type set up. Wish me luck.