Bad highlighter
February 16th, 2004 at 12:00 amAs you all know, I recently turned 21. Along with being able to finally update the title bar to this site, I was granted a whole new set of perks and bonuses with my new age. You know, cheaper car insurance, no more fake IDs, being able to apply for reality TV shows - all the stuff that you never really gave a shit about. But yesterday, I came to the conclusion that we need to start the movement to add yet another ability that should be granted to only those who are 21 and above. The use of a fucking highlighter.
Most people have to take out 7 or 8 loans and the rights to their firstborn just to cover to cost of college textbooks. So when they are offered a used book for a cheaper price, they tend to snatch it up. I am no exception. But while reading through one of my books yesterday, I was reminded of the biggest benefit of buying a book new. You don’t have to deal with this. Seriously, I guarantee you there is not that much important information on that page. No History book ever puts that much information on the first 20 pages, much less the 20 and 21st. This isn’t 6th grade English where you get quizzed on the names of the characters in the book and what their occupations are. I especially like how he decides that single words in the entire sentence aren’t worthy of his highlighting abilities. “According to one of his sons, whom we interviewed in Hong Kong, the landlords had gained quite different reputations.”
Well highlighted, dumbass.
Stores need to keep highlighters behind the counter, right next to the box of Marlboro and bottle of Jack Daniel’s. Kids should have to go through the rigorous strain of having to prove that they are indeed Mr. Ali bin Ahmed bin Saleh Al-Fulani from Jersey and that he’s just shaven his beard, so that’s why he doesn’t look 35 like his ID says he is. High Schools need to change their current class structure so that after Driver Ed, instead of having a few weeks of Study Hall, kids go off and learn how to properly highlight text. And parents need to be held responsibly when it’s realized that they let their kids go off to college without teaching them how to operate a washing machine, cook an egg, or HIGHLIGHT A FUCKING HISTORY BOOK.
At least I can find some comfort in the knowledge that just like every other shitty highlighter out there, they seem to flake out and quit after the second chapter. Pussy.
Angela http://www.bostonbrat.net
I usually start highlighting important things in my book, then notice I just highlighted the entire page. I think I only do it to make myself feel like I’m studying even though my mind is wandering.
Goob http://www.shyzer.com
Then I’m gonna have to make a point never to buy one of your old books, Angela =)
Angela http://www.bostonbrat.net
Well Goob, I make it a point to never sell my old books. I’m a packrat afterall and who knows, I could find some use for them.
Shipman
Hey, highlighting is fucking hard. And as I’ve come to learn, best left to professionals.
But what if you really need to know that Chen village had two landlords and not four? What then Mr Bigshot? You wouldn’t know it. And the guy with the green highlighter would, and you tell me who is the better man.
Angel http://www.temporary-sanity.com/
Confession -> I’m a terrible highlighter. I even use different colors for different things. One color for definitions, one for theories…etc etc. I deserve to be shot.
Hawwaiianstyles
Whats the point of highlighting a whole page it’s then just a shade of gay floresent instead of a shade of dirty white, and if you can’t read it and understand it why can you understand it better in a different color.
Angela http://www.bostonbrat.net
Well, Hawaiin, I believe the purpose of highlighting is so that when reviewing the material at a later date, you can skip the crap and directly go over the important stuff.