Shyzer.com

Week 2

One of the nice things about being back home over the break was that most of my friends were back home as well, which is a rare occasion now a days. And let me stress that. By rare, I mean I can’t even remember the last time it actually happened except for when I lived there 3 years ago. Naturally, the first person that I wanted to hang out with was Chong since I hadn’t really been able to hang out with him for quite some time. I went over to hishouse pretty much every day that we were both back in town and all we did was watch football / TV / movies and crack jokes. It was just like the good ‘ole days. One day we were sitting around watching some college football and got the itch to go play, but since we couldn’t find anybody, we decided to just go out and throw the ball around. Before our driving days, we used to play 3 on 3 neighborhood football in the yard next to Chong’s. The people who lived there were NEVER home and they never took care of their yard, so they liked how we killed the grass so they wouldn’t have to cut it. As you know from some of my previous posts, I used to invent plays all the time and one our most classic plays was called the Big Ass, or BA for short.

See, the field we played on was….um…..irregular. The entire yard was going downhill, so if you were up at the top and running downfield, you could pick up some speed. Right in the middle of the yard was this gigantic tree and a BA called for Chong standing up at the top of the yard, bombing the ball OVER the tree, and me catching it as I pretty much stumbled down the hill. It was a high risk, high reward play that worked MAYBE 20%. So Chong and I decided to go for a BA for old time’s sake. We figured that we could nail a few and then go in for some dinner. Well 30 minutes later, we had yet to complete a damn BA and we were getting pissed. We soon realized that one of our problems was that the tree in the middle of the yard had grown quite a bit, which was causing Chong to have to aim the ball higher. However, we realized that our biggest problem was that we were extremelly out of shape. But 2 days and way too many attempts later, we finally began completing some of the passes. The downside, however, was that later on that week I couldn’t move for a few days since I was so sore. But I digress because this is was too fucking much as it is.

Another person that I got to spend a lot of time with was Jess. We were in town for about 5 days together and we ended up hanging out each night that she was home. Since we are both huge insomniacs, we were both up until around 6 AM or since nobody else stays up that late for some reason, we hung out each night and goofed off. It was great spending some time with her, especially since I rarely get to see her as it is now. I got to see Chloe too, which made me want a dog all over again, but I can’t have animals here in my apartment, so I need to just get over it.

Sunday was for one things and one thing only. THE PACKERS GAME! Chong and I had decided to watch the game over at his house. I knew Tommy would want to watch it with us, so I brought him over and all three of us sat down and got ready for the Packers - Seahawks game. I don’t remember that much from the game besides the 26 heart attacks that I nearly had. There was much cursing, much screaming, much moaning / groaning, much “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”, and much “I can’t look, I can’t look, I can’t look…..” I was freaking out when we went into overtime, especially when Hasslefuck made his “bold” statement during the coinflip that “We want the ball and we’re gonna score.” The only unison scream from Chong, Tommy, and I all day came at that moment when we all screamed at the same time “FUCK YOU!!!!!” But when Al Harris made that interception and ran it back for a TD…I swear, I’ve never screamed that loud or hugged my brother like I did at that moment. God, what a freaking game.

To cap off my emotional roller coaster week back home, I got a call from my old friend Jeremy asking me to come play a friendly round of golf with the boys. Now before I go into detail, allow me to stress one simple fact. By “playing golf”, it is implied and understood that what we are doing is “making an excuse to get as many guys together without any females around and fuck off on a par-3 course with the golf carts, all the while making rude and inappropriate gestures, remarks, and possibly physical contact”. It doesn’t happen often, so I knew I had to accept the proposal and get my ass out of bed by noon. We had a pretty good size group show up: Me, Jeremy, David, Nhan, Ronak, and Nick. I, of course, ended up being given the hot pink golf ball, but what they didn’t know is that I had just dedicated my game to the search for a cure for Breast Cancer and with something like that on your side, you can’t lost. I also made an announcement that all I would donate all proceeds that I won to the search for a cure to Breast Cancer. I thought if I made up a fake little girl whom I’d supposedly met the night before and who might have inspired me to bring my A game that I might somehow pull a miracle out of my ass and “win” it for her.

Well that didn’t really pan out, but neither did David’s idea of driving the golf cart over the 7-foot pile of bricks, yet we all had fun nonetheless. I shot an impressive 43 over 9 holes, which is even more astounding when you factor in that for the 8th and 9th holes we couldn’t even see the course since the sun had gone down and the course had no lights. We had hoped that they might have installed some lights for us since we asked last year, but apparently we lost our sponsorship deal after failing to bring out the crowds we had promised NIKE, so the course decided against installing the equipment. They did however recharge the golf cart batteries for us free of charge, so we were able to joust for a few holes. Well, nobody else called it jousting since I was just sneaking up on people while the were setting up to put and rammed them with a golf club, but I think that’s just a technicality.

I ended up coming in 2nd place due to my mad skill and the eraser I had brought with me, but damn was it fun. I hardly ever get to see these guys whom I grew up with and after everything with Tan…well, it just feels good seeing and spending time with them.

After golf, some of us went out to eat and flirt with the waitress. Or at least that is what Nhan thought we were doing, but I’ll let that go for now. I did learn one thing while waiting on our dinner however. If an establishment ever offers free honey dipped bread rolls to Ronak, he will eat a minimum of 35 and then ask for a doggy bag and a fresh plate of rolls. A short time before dinner ended Nick was talking about how he wanted to go up to North Carolina to get a tattoo on his arm that said something along the lines of In Memory of Tan with his birth and death dates. Nhan and Ronak had to get going, but I wasn’t doing anything and since it was “for” Tan, I offered to drive him. We got pretty lost and the trip ended up taking somewhere around 4 hours, but we found the place and Nick got the tattoo, which I might add looks utterly amazing. I’ll take a picture of it whenever I can, but watching him get it made me get the tattoo itch all over again. I sorta came up with a sweet idea of what I would get after randomly thinking of that movie with Brendan Fraser and Joe Pesci from the mid-90s called With Honors.

But now I am back in Columbia, getting ready to return to my reality. Overall, it was a damn fun break, one in which I needed dearly. There were some parts which I wish had never happened, but such is life, or so they tell me. I’m back full time now, so everybody leave some comments, check in daily, and I’ll c-ya around.