Shyzer.com

The Shyzers are in danger of being eliminated from the playoffs having never played a game in it yet. I’m two seconds away from going door-to-door asking random girls to come play for us since we can’t find another damn girl who isn’t too prissy to come get dirty and play. I’m serious, if we don’t have 1 final girl lined up to come play by, say, 4:00 tomorrow, I’m going door-to-door in this apartment complex until I find somebody.

Well, I did happen to learn something while working on my essay last night. No, it wasn’t about how we were a little over 2 hours away from nuclear destruction or how General LeMay was a total asshole. Na, it had nothing to do with the Cuban Missile Crisis at all in fact. It had to do with proving an age-old theory I had always held, which stated that if I go to bed early in hopes of getting up early and finishing my essay, I will oversleep. I woke up about 20 minutes after my essay was due, so I just rolled out of bed and took my time finishing it and whatnot. A 5% late penalty isn’t all that bad, and besides, does it really matter? Not at all my friends, not at all.

I think I was meant to oversleep however. Because had I not overslet, I would have been in class around 2 PM. And had I been in class at 2 PM, I wouldn’t have noticed that a guy I haven’t talked to in over a year was on-line. In fact, Fellner and I were talking about him not too long ago, wondering if he was even still alive, or how his surfing career was going and whether or not he’d become engaged for the billionith time only to find himself another women. And so there I was, just typing my essay taking a break and looking at my buddy list when I saw he was on. Good ‘ole Kline. Now Kline is one of those guys that such a HUGE jackass that he is funny. All he does is make joke after joke and make fun of people non-stop. If he’s your friend, he’s hilarious. If not, then you hate his guts. And that’s exactly how it should be. Turns out he might be coming back to our hometown within the coming months, so if so, expect some great Kline stories.

Now, unfortunately, I have to comment on this. Look, I love the Simpsons. They are….well, were great. But there comes a time when a show must accept the fact that they are no longer funny. That was what wasgreat with Seinfeld’s exit. They realized that they were out of funny ideas and called it quit, which was the right move. But with The Simpsons, they just keep going and going, and not in the good Energizer Bunny way. Three years ago, I remember only a few funny episodes. Last year, I could only count 3. And by the way this season is going, well 3 might be on the higher end of the spectrum. Come on guys, go out with some class.

Okay, somebody give me something to do on this site. Tell me something you’d like to see on here so that I can work on it because I am bored. Oh, and go give Angela some love since she is feeling like shit. Flu’s suck. And I guess that’s it.

I hate the Eagles. That is all.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

SKIN’S BEEN CANCELLED! How oh how could they drop this show after only 3 episodes? Did they finally realize that in the first episode alone, they wasted every ounce of material they had for at least 2 whole seasons? Did they realize it was their version of Couplings? Or were they just trying to shatter “Falcone’s” record for “Most promos shown during a prolonged sporting event versus number of actual episodes that made the air?”

Or, did they realize that HIS FATHER’S THE DISTRICT ATTORNEY!!

And in the great words of Fellner: “Well, his father was the district attorney.”

I’m heart-broken.

Oh yeah, I’m training for a marathon now. More details to follow.

The IMs are being sent at alarming rates, phone calls are being made 24 hours a day, e-mail are bouncing back since the addresses are so outdated….that’s right folks, a football game is being planned. The “old gang,” as we so cleverly have dubed ourselves, is being rounded up and notified. I lost out on the group pool that one of us would be in jail by now, but I still haven’t gotten in touch with a few guys, so that could easily change within the next few days. To anybody who is going home for Thanksgiving, come play football with us the day after (Friday). IM, call, or E-mail me for more info.

I finally understand why people get their wisdom teeth pulled out. Mine started coming in about a year or so ago and they didn’t hurt at all, so I felt there was no need to run to the dentist and get all drugged up for no reason. And to tell you the truth, having a few extra teeth around to help chew was a comforting thought. I’m always seemed to swallow food a little too quickly, which is never as fun as it sounds. But a few weeks ago, I started getting canker sores right around the four spots where the teeth had come in. And I swear they’ve grown bigger and more painful. Me buying that 2 quarts of orange juice didn’t help matters either, since the acid in it seems to burn them. I really need to get a dentist appointment here soon.

And speaking of appointments I need to get, what’s the longest period of time that anybody has ever used the same contact? I’m closing in on the 11 month mark for my right eye and we swear that we are gonna make it to our 1 year anniversary. I found an old stash of somebody’s contact when my family was moving and they happened to be the same perscription for my left eye, so I’ve been able to replace those every month. Who says you can’t make a 1-a-day contact last 30-a-days? I just need to get that lasic eye surgery after I graduate and never worry about these damn things again.

I got my cam set up, which can be accessed by the remote over there on the right. I need to get a small picture of my cam up so that people know what the hell the remote is talking about, but I’ll work on that later. Right now, I am need to be working on my major History essay that is due on Wednesday. Classically, I have only accomplished to write my name and date on the paper. Every time I think about a title, I get flustered and go take a 24 hour break. I’m running out of 24 hours though. But honestly, I couldn’t care less =)

Homer: Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty! ‘Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.’

Thanks to Fellner, Caitlin, Jess, and Angela for commenting on my picture gallery. I should be uploading just a few more to it tonight. Also, I wanted to point out that anybody can comment on any given picture if they so feel inclined to. Just click on the picture and click ADD COMMENT.

Also, I got my webcam revived from the dead. I also have it set up to where it refreshes every 30 seconds and takes a live picture of me. So you can sit here and watch me watch myself! Just click on the cam image over there and enjoy.

Tip # 47: Never create a password for your e-mail that you are soon to forget.

I finally remembered my password for my old Hotmail account today. My computer had been set up to where it automatically logged into my account when I went to Hotmail, which was a good thing, because I had no idea what my password was. But my computer has crashed 4 times in the past month and a half, so I had no idea what my password was. I tried to recover it through the recovery system, but even I was confused by my secret question. Apparently, I thought I would forever remember my work ID # at the job I had 3 years ago, along with 3 other sets of numbers that I haven’t used in well over 2 years. The 30-day limit was only 1 day away too, so I got lucky since everything in there wasn’t eliminated. However, out of 600 some-odd e-mails, only 5 were anything that I cared to read! Spammers, if you are reading this, for the love of all things holy, never e-mail me again! I don’t know anybody who decides to take up your offer for a lower mortgage or the time share down in Key West. I don’t want an on-line degree from Phoenix University and I’m not
interested in hooking up with skanky, young sluts in my area. I also have no desire to sign up for a credit card with a lower interest rate and for the love of god, if Cindy7346023 and Shelly02348754 send me another e-mail asking if I’d like to see their personal sites, I think I might go postal.

I’m not sure what I’m doing for Thanksgiving. I’m not too bummed about not being with my family during the “holiday.” It’s kind of a recurring theme with the ways things have worked out the last few years =) I know Alex is going home on Thanksgiving Day, so I might head back up there to see him and my Dad and Tommy. What I really want to do sometime soon is go see The Matrix Revolutions in IMAX. I looked on-line to see where the nearest one is playing and the and I found one down in Charleston, so I might do that on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and then head back home. Yes, I would drive an extra 300 miles “just for a movie” because honestly, it’s fitting. The only thing holding me back is money since it might come down to eating versus paying for the ticket and gas. But for this movie, it just might be worth it. I still need to figure out what I’m doing for Christmas Break as well, but that is so far away in the future.

*DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE THIRD MATRIX MOVIE YET*

Okay, I was looking for a post I made a while back because I had a link in it that I wanted. And I stumble across [link to an entry I made last May]. Now, it isn’t the post that surprised me, but all the damn comments that people left that are so new. But I wanted to comment on what Ryan said. The whole “A matrix inside of a matrix” theory is laughable. It was conjured by people who were trying to predict the final “twist” to the movie. The reason they failed is quite simple. (1) It’s way too predictable and (2) It would have nothing to do with the religious aspect of the movies.

*OKAY, ALL CLEAR*

Seeing all those new comments made me go click through all my old post to see if there were any more new ones and I’ll be damned if there weren’t. There were a ton of comments that people had made, many in the last few weeks, on posts I had made as long ago as a year ago. So this is to all you people out there who like to comment on old posts: Leave me a message on the tag board over there so I’ll know to go read it!

And now, a Simpsons quote.

Homer’s ghost: Marge you gotta help me, I have to do one good deed to get into heaven.
Marge: Well I got a whole list of chores: clean the garage, paint the house…
Homer’s ghost: Whoa whoa whoa. I’m just trying to get in, I’m not running for Jesus

I GOT THE GALLERY WORKING! I always knew I could do it =) The reason I haven’t linked it yet, however, is that I want to upload all the pictures I have before I do. So, look for the link to be up sometime tomorrow night. [edit] Here’s a link to the gallery. I’ve gotten most of the pictures I have with me uploaded, but I’ll be uploading many more in the next month or so after I get them from home. [/edit]

I used to be full of hate, anger, rage, among other positive things. But the former resulted and prospered from the uncertainty that clouded my mind. I knew I was different. I knew I was meant to do something. But I didn’t know what. I didn’t know why. I didn’t know how.

But yesterday….It just fell into place. I walked outside to go to class and it was 80-someodd degrees. In November. With nothing but a few small clouds floating aimlessly, I began walking to class and noticed something strange. There was no one else around. On a campus of 30,000 students, there was not a soul to be seen. And then 5 seconds later, the heaviest rain I’ve ever felt came out of nowhere. Stronger then my wildest imaginations, I struggled to balance myself as I kept walking. I was soaked to the bone within a matter of minutes and as I went on, the rain seemed to follow me, going exactly where I was heading. When I got to the building where my class was, I stared up at the metaphysically-cleansing rain and watched it stopped as suddenly as it had started and vanished. As I sat in my class and looked at the puddle of water in my book bag, I surveyed everybody around me and noticed that they were all dry as could be. Not a drop of water on them. And the strangest sense washed over me. I knew it was what I’d been looking for all this time. What I’d been searching for. What I’d dreamt of at night and pondered throughout the day.

The most amazing sense of peacefulness flowed through me and continues to do so now. I’ve sat here and thought of all the things that used to make me angry and none of them do anymore. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. I still don’t know what. I still don’t know why. But I now know how.

I now am free of the hatred that I fostered inside of me since as long as I can remember. I am free of the fury that held me hostage. I am free of the rage that slightly pulsed through me with every breath I took. I am free of whatever has held me for 20 years. It feels amazing. It feels so right. It feels like nothing I ever thought imaginable. It makes each and every struggle that I went through to get here seem reasonable.

It feels like peace.

The torrential downpour today - like nothing I’ve ever experienced. And on a perfectly sunny day. Being the only one soaked. The warmth. The name Ryan Scott. It’s all there. It’s all right in front of me. I finally understand. I finally see. I just have to figure out how.

I didn’t always know. I believed. I still do.

I’ve already warned you once Fellner. GET BACK TO WORK! I don’t want to see House.gov on my status page ever again!

Only 4 more hours until The Matrix Revolutions and my heart is already pounding. People keep asking me why I like to movie so much and they always assume that it’s because of the visual effects and action scenes. But those are just the icing on the cake. The real reason these movies are amazing lie in their philosophical and religious understandings. I’ve never seen a movie pull in Greek, Roman, Norse, and Egyptian mythology so well and at the same time pull in Christian, Islam, and Hinduism and have it all intertwine and make perfect senes, even if you don’t get it the first time. It’s like a good book, you have to read it over and over before you finally understand it and when you do, you realize that it has nothing to do with what’s on the surface. Pure brilliance.

Well, the Supporting Cast section is now up (minus the headshot, which will be up tomorrow), so now you’ll have a better idea of who people are when I talk about them. Next goal, the gallery!

It’s funny to see people turn into people they swore they never would. Maybe funny isn’t the word, I guess it depends on the person and the situation. Watching a few of my old friends slowly deteriorate into that person they never wished to be is discouraging, especially knowing that there is nothing I can do. Things have happened to them in their past that are so unimaginable, it’s a miracle that they are still with us today. Yet at the same time, I’m subjected to become only a spectator in their life now, no longer participating in the action and losing the power to help them in the only way I could before.

Yet with someone else I know, their transformation was almost cruel and tactless…it feels like treachery. Knowing that they so willingly gave into – or even worse, consciously decided to – change into this person that they swore over and over to me that they would never would is like a dagger through the chest. Yet, I understand it. I understand it better then they do and I always have. They have given up and suffered the most worst imaginable fate I can think of. They have finally started to believe everything they heard about them. They have finally started to believe everything they were told they should be. They have finally become the person I never thought they would be and the person that I never wish to know.

Many people have at times accused me of thinking that I am better then everybody else. They always misinterpret my indifference to these accusations as an admittance of guilt; as if I felt that they were so wise to see through my ruse that I could do nothing but cower in shame. Yet every time I hear somebody accuse me of this, I simply ignore them while they talk, for they have already failed in understanding me. For years I tried to explain myself, to explain why they were wrong, to explain how far from the truth they really were. Each and every time, my explanations were futile and eventually I just stopped trying.

Many months ago, I started a list. A list of who I was. A list of who I am. But most importantly, a list of what I am. It was started in an attempt to help people better understand me, in an attempt to reach out and put to rest the belief that I intentionally hindered people’s desire to understand me. But after finishing it, I realized that it only clouded things up even more for most. People who finished reading it ended up confused, puzzled, irritated, angry…

I’ve only had one person completely understand me and he’s gone now. Does that discourage me? Not particularly. Do I seem to obstruct people in their quest to understand me? Only to those who fail from the start. I tried to help people with the list, but when I finished it, I finally understood. You either understand me or you don’t. If you don’t understand me today, you never will. You either have it, or it don’t, and it’s as simple as that. I welcome somebody to prove me wrong, but I know it won’t happen. Why?

Because I am better then you.

Okay, the damn pictures have all been scanned, which took a while. But I’m having trouble configuring the Gallery and my internet is going in and out and in and out, which makes the task a little more difficult, so hopefully I can get them all loaded by tonight. I just need this damn internet connection to stay and I’ll be able to do it. This damn thing is worse then GreyMatter though. Plus, there are some people that I still need to get pictures of *cough* CLAY AND TOMMY *cough*. I also noticed that I don’t have a single good picture of myself, which might or might not be explained by the fact that I hate to have my picture taken. Oh well, I have a few decent ones that I can use.

In other news, my tutoring career has taken off, so I was able to pay rent AND utilities this month! Having a place to stay is always a good thing in my book. And besides that, I got nothing. Pretty busy and ultimately boring day. Tomorrow will be a blur mainly because I will be rushing through it just trying to get to Wednesday, where I will FINALLY be able to see The Matrix Revolutions. I can honestly say I have never anticipated a movie more then this one.

And what better way to close out this pointless post then with a Simpsons quote?!

Lisa: Okay, now we’re going to draw jobs from the chore hat.
Homer: Come on, bikini inspector! [takes and reads a slip] Scrub toilet? Okay, that was a practice….Practice…..Practice….Okay, here we go. Feed fish.
Bart: I’ll supervise!
Lisa: You know, the reason for the hat…
Homer: Oh, it’s a great hat. No one’s questioning the hat.
Lisa: Will you at least do the dishes?
Homer: Lisa, I’ll do the dishes when I pick it out of the chore hat, and it’s not a practice. See, there it is. But that was a practice. The system works!