Shyzer.com

We here at Shyzer take foodnaping very seriously. Such an offense should never be taken lightly and it is for this reason alone that I feel I should respond and accept the demands of The OCPT.

I recieved this ransom note earlier tonight and found it quite disturbing. Apparently Fellner has gotten on the wrong side of somebody and they have gone and abducted his prized Oatmeal Creme Pies. We all know how attached he is to his food and I shudder to think of how far and how much food this thief might end up stealing and holding hostage. I’m not quite sure why my name is mentioned in the ransom note, but I can only speculate and come to the conclusion that the OCPT didn’t want Fellner mistakenly suspecting me of stealing his food, which was actually kind of nice of him (or her…)

I’m not sure I would risk going against the will of The OCPT and actually messing with my food. That could really piss him (or her!) off…

Anyways, I felt it was my civic duty to post this note as not only a warning to Fellner, but to everybody else out there. Please, please be on the lookout for The OCPT and if anybody has any information they would care to pass along, they can leave it in the comments for this post. I will personally give anybody $10,000 for any information leading to the capture of this heinous criminal.*

Please folks, we must all band together and stop this madman. Watch over your children as they play in the yard, don’t answer your door if the person outside will not identify themselves, and for the love of God, lock all your food away safely and securly.

Together, we can put an end to the reign of terror The OCPT has brought upon us…

*(minus a $99,999.99 reward tax)