Shyzer.com

Ok, Ok, I know it’s been a while since I posted, but I’ve had good reason why it’s taken me so long. Last weekend I drove up to Virginia to see my family and take my brother Clay to the Mariners-Orioles game, which was a damn fun trip. I jumped in my truck on Thursday afternoon and drove the un-godly drive up there. Quick little tip for those of you who are about to go on a long trip. Make sure you won’t be hitting a major city, like oh I don’t know let’s say Charlotte, at rush hour. Seeing my family was great though. It was fun wrestling with my siblings and

The drive to Baltimore was….ok, I won’t lie, it was one mistake after another. First off, Mapquest was a fucking joke. They had me getting onto interstates and roads that DIDN’T EVEN EXIST! Somewhere in West Virginia (a place where I found out might actually rivals South Carolina for number of hick towns) I decided to ditch the mapquest directions and make my own. I pulled out the map I had and started mapping out a path to try and take. We were already so far away from any major highway that I had to do it taking all back roads and while constantly flipping pages between Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland. 4 hours latter we got to the game just as it was starting and we were in our seats in time for the first pitch!

As for the Mariners game itself, well that was fun =) The Mariners ended up losing 3-1, but Clay and I had a fun time. There was only one thing wrong with Camden yards. They have a bug problem. And by bug problem, I am talking sever swarming bug problems. Somewhere around the 4th inning, a gigantic swarm of gnats appeared making it physically hard to breath without sucking some in. I’m not kidding folks. People were running out of their seats and Clay and I were just bursting with laughter since it seemed like something out of a cheesy horror flick. We went to the other side of the ballpark and viola, there were no bugs there! After enjoying our stadium hotdogs and cokes, we finished watching the game and headed on home (which only took me 2 hours thank you very much).

I got back here in Columbia on Monday morning after making a quick stop in my hometown Sunday night. Ok, side note here folks. Being the wise old man that I am, I feel it’s time to pass along some of my wisdom to some of you whippersnappers out there. There is a certain etiquette you must follow when driving on the highway. We all know these drives can be long and boring. Therefore, sometimes you become “friends” with fellow drivers. You know what I am talking about. Like when you follow Black Saab and Maroon Golf for 150 miles since they have a radar detector, helping you dodge the speed traps. Or when you follow BRN2FLY through a long stretch, helping you stay awake. Now once you have established that you are friends, you are required to say goodbye when you depart. A blink of the lights, a honk, or even just a simple wave will relieve you of your duty and let you sleep peacefully that night. However, I witnessed a break in this cardinal law on my drive back. Crossing the state line into North Carolina, I came upon an SUV from Florida who had some writing all over the windows. I got close enough to read it and saw that on the back it said “Don’t think everything is true just because Fox news says it is” and on the sides there were plenty of anti-Bush sayings. I loved it! So I drove up next to them and Tommy and I rolled our windows down, gave them the thumbs up, and honked. They acknowledged us with a flash of the lights and from there, we stuck together through the mountains. Every time one of us passed each other, we waved and this continued for another 100 miles. But then, I watched in my rear view mirror as they suddenly pulled off at a Rest Stop without so much as a goodbye honk. I felt betrayed. I felt hurt. I felt kinda angry. I thought about pulling off at the next exit and waiting for them to pass by so that I could register my anger with them. I thought about pulling over right then and there and then backing up on the shoulder so I could make sure they knew what they just did. I couldn’t believe they did that to me. And I thought they were cool people…

Well, Tuesday morning I woke up asking my roommates to kill me. I had a sinus infection, soar throat, and chest cold that wouldn’t let up. I stayed in bed all day and just tried to sleep it off to no avail. I’m finally feeling a little better now, but I still wish my head felt better. I have a constant headache that just won’t go away. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better soon. I knew I shouldn’t have shared drinks with my siblings since they had the same damn thing!

Sometime earlier this week I got named captain of my intramural softball team, despite making it clear that I didn’t want to be. I didn’t really care though, I now get to make the lineups every game and tell people where they can play. MWAHAHAHA. I’ve already told everybody that they can play wherever they want if they start sucking up to me now. I’ll be the first to admit that we won’t have the best team out there, I’m just hoping for a competitive team. However, after looking at the rules, I realized that we are playing pussy softball. You get 2 pitches to get a hit, otherwise you are out. No stealing, no sliding, to leading off, no touching home plate when you are scoring, the pitcher can’t field the ball, and it has to be underhand. *sigh* Why must we play with these shitty rules?! We are trying to think of a good team name too. Any suggestions? (And Nhan, we ARE NOT BEING CALLED DORLUM!)

I’m starting a petition to make kickball an intramural sport. I’m not quite sure how many signatures I need, but I’m heading up to the office Monday to get the form and try and get some money from the school. So if anybody reading this goes to USC, let me know so you can sign the petition and get kickball as a intramural sport!

Well, this is honestly long enough as it is. I still have more to talk about, but most of everything else I have to say is only pertinent to people who actually know me, so I’ll save all that for my next post. Be sure to leave me a comment below, because I can assure you I post more when more people leave comments!