Shyzer.com

I would like to register my displeasure with the United States Postal Service. I’m still debating on if I should sue them over false advertisement, but I’ll get to that later. Recently, I ordered a book off Amazon and it was sent out the next day. I had a tracking number to follow it and for 8 days, it sat in Richmond, VA. Now, I’m sure Richmond is a great place and all. Nobody’s faulting the city. But I would like to be the first to ask what the hell they do up there during the workday. Why must my book sit there for 8 days? Finally they realized that it was supposed to be sent down here to Columbia, so they shipped it down here and what happens? The postman doesn’t come to our apartments because it is raining pretty hard one day. So I am, sitting in my class trying to bullshit who exactly would have killed the princes in the tower if it wasn’t King Richard III all because my postman didn’t feel like getting wet.

To add insult to injury, a recent USPS ad on TV pissed me off. They made numberous false claims about the service they provide. They claimed to be able to deliever the mail in not only good weather, but also snow and rain. I was willing to let that slide and just say they screwed the commercial up, but they felt like testing their luck. They continued such false claims as:

Even the temporary loss of gravity can’t stop us.

Now call me crazy, but if they couldn’t make it here when it was raining, I doubt they’ll be able to give me my mail when I’m floating 20 feet off the ground. And how long is this temporar loss of gravity? I mean, I think they could hold out on like a 30 second loss. But if we’re pushing the 10+ hour boundary, I don’t see how they could even make it to my apartment to deliever the mail. This is something I would like to see.

An angry mob of robots made out of old washing machines couldn’t stop us.

Ok, scratch what I said previously…this is something I would like to see. Am I the only person whose first thought upon hearing this was “I wonder what made them angry?” Now aside from that, I too think this would somehow stop the postal service. Just think of all the destructive power this mob could pack. I’m sure they could somehow put to use all the old socks they’ve collected over the years; you know, like make a sock missle or something. Heck, they could just grab the mail and throw in inside themselves and turn on the washing machines, which would destroy all the mail. I’d put my money on the robots.

Not even a black hole that swallows the entire known universe can stop us.

Ok, now y’all are just being dicks.

I’m making a few changes on the site. I put a new song up over on the right, and I’m going to do away with my links page and just put all the links up here on the main page. Nothing really exciting, but I get bored if I leave things alone for too long. The Mariners were technically knocked out of the playoffs again for the second year in a row, this year by Boston. Those bastards! I’m over it though. It helped accepting it earlier then holding out hope only to have it be crushed like I did last year. I still say nobody will be able to beat the Florida Marlins. Watch them play one game and tell me they won’t win the World Series. The Shyzers have their first game this Sunday. I’m still waiting to hear when our first match of Softling will take place. Personally, I think the “Untouchabowls” won’t know what hit em, but that’s just me.

Ok, I am off to play some video games and eat a hot pocket. But I’ve got one question for everybody. Is anybody else getting pop-ups when they come to my site? Whenever I load my site, I get a pop-up or two and it’s starting to piss me off. I didn’t know if it’s my computer or my site, so any feedback would be appreciated.

I hate school. No, let me rephrase that. I hate reading things that are totally pointless and make absolutely no sense. Couple that with the fact that you are reading it because you are forced to be in a class that tries to teach you how to be a historian and you can see why this semester blows. Honestly, if I didn’t know what a historian did or how they do whatever it is they do, I highly doubt I would be majoring in it. Ok, so I have no idea what a historian does, but neither does anybody else, especially this guy who wrote this book. All I’ve learned so far in this class is that (1) My Monday and Wednesday afternoons are wasted on this class. (2) Drawing stickfigure battles are still as entertaining as they were in 5th grade.

We didn’t have our game last night because they couldn’t get the lights to come on. Of course, 10 minutes after the other team and umps leave, they just magically come on, so we had a practice. The field is about twice the size of a highschool field, which is what we have been practicing on, so I was actually glad we didn’t have a game because we would have gotten our asses handed to us. The outfield is huge and I personally roaming around out there, but I know none of us have any shot at hitting it out of the park. I still wonder about how much (or little) the other teams are practicing or even how good they are. I’d rather know what I was going up against.

I’m having trouble thinking of things to post on. I’m just out of ideas. I hate just sitting here and recapping my days like most bloggers do. I know I’ll think of something soon though.

At 8:00 EST, The Shyzers will play their first game of the Fall 2003 Softball Co-Rec season. I haven’t been this giddy since I was stuck in an elevator for 5 minutes with Vida Blue and Rickey Henderson.

Expect a long post tonight =)

I take this very seriously. Anyone who knows me and anyone who understands me will get this post. And for all of you who don’t fall into that category, I’d suggest just waiting until my next post.

I’ve never seen a team just roll over and die each and every August & September like the Mariners the past 3 of 4 years. They just give up. After having the best record in baseball for the first 3 months of the year, they now have a losing combined record in July, August, and September. And one of the hardest things I have ever done as a baseball fan is finally accept the fact that we need to throw in the towel and rebuild. This current team just can’t do it. Over the past few years I’ve fallen in love with guys like Olerud, Rhodes, Cameron, Freddy, McLemore, and Sasaki. But in all honesty, each and every one of them need to go. Olerud and Cameron were both aquired in 2000 and all but made Seattle into the best defensive team in baseball, which is one of the main reasons we won so many games. But Olerud is retiring at the end of next year and Cameron is up for free agency at the end of this year. Nobody really knows if Seattle will re-sign him, but his offense has been such a huge hole in the team. He strikes out far too many times and he just seems to not give it his all up there at the plate. Rhodes also joined the team in 2000 and became one of the best set-up men in the game. However, I still blame him for causing the Mariners to not reach the World Series in 2001. He gave up game winning homeruns in two seperate games to Dave Justice on the exact same pitches that everybody knew he shouldn’t throw. And recently, he has plain out sucked. It’s time for him to move on. Freddy came over in the Randy Johnson trade and was deemed the “key” to the trade. He flashed some of the promise that he supposedly had in 2001, but since then he has become a total head case. I still think he will become one of the best pitchers in baseball for a few years, but I just think he needs a change of scenery and a team that believes in him. And the Mariners have lost faith in him, especially after this year. McLemore came over in 2000 and became the best utility men in baseball, helping fill any hole the Mariners had. But he has become so old, he is no longer useful to the team. And Sasaki. God, I hate saying he needs to go. Sasaki joined the team in 2000 and saved the Mariners. I don’t care what any baseball fan says, Sasaki is the player who saved the fans of Seattle in the new generation. The 1995 season saved the sport of baseball in Seattle, but Sasaki saved the fans. Not since Sasaki had we ever had a good closer and it had killed us time and time again. But when Sasaki took over that role, he dominated. He made the fans see what it felt like to not get the jitters in the 9th inning and we liked it so much, we went and built a bullpen around him like a championship team should do. But ever since injuring himself, he’s lost his stuff. He now cost 8 million dollars and no team wants him. We are stuck with his contract for another 2 years at which point he will retire and fade into the sunset.

In 2000 we barely made the playoffs, but we weren’t even supposed to be there if you had asked anybody at the start of the season. People were just thrilled to have made it. But the truth of the matter was that we were doing awesome come September. We should have easily coasted into the playoff instead of stumbling in like we did. It wasn’t until after the season that people finally realized what had happened.

In 2002 we were riding high. We had the best record in July and there was no looking back. But when the calendar changed to August, we stopped playing. Oakland and Anaheim both surged past us as we struggled to stay afloat. In mid-September we had a shot at making our comeback. All we had to do was beat Texas (the worst team in our league) 2 out of 4 games and we were back in it. We were swept in all 4 games by Texas and after that, we as the fans and the players completely gave up.

In 2003 we were an exact mirror of ourselves in 2002. Just as late as mid-August, we were doing fine. Most people were predicting that we would go all the way. And then we just fell apart again. We started to lose to Tampa Bay, Baltimore, and worst of all, Boston. We again controlled our own fate until a series about 2 weeks ago when Boston swept us in 4 games. And now it feels like deja vu all over again. If we could just beat Texas (again a horrible team), we could possibly slip into the playoffs. We lost last night and at current look, we are losing tonight 9-0. We are about to be swept by Texas in 4 games for the second year in a row. I can feel it coming. We still play Oakland 6 times this year and I can promise you now, we won’t make the playoffs for the second year in a row. Hey, I told ya in May, didn’t I?

You don’t know how much it pains me to write this. Two of the best players in Mariners history will be gone soon. Edgar Martinez will most likely retire at the end of this year and in 2 years, Jamie Moyer will follow his lead. By then, hopefully the players above will have moved on and Seattle can begin the painful journey of rebuilding. It’s time for some new blood to flow through our veins. We’ve had some young kids come up recently and show that they can play – after some adjusting time. In a few years, the only main, everyday players who play for Seattle today that will still be around is Ichiro, and even he has some work to do. Being more selective at the plate is one thing, but that is a discussion for another time. Olerud, Boone, Martinez, Cameron, Wilson, McLemore, Moyer, Freddy, Sasaki, Rhodes, Winn, and (thank god) Cirillo will be gone. The team that I grew up with, that showed me some of the finner points of baseball and who opened my eyes to how baseball is meant to be played is about to be no more.

I’ll always remember the 116 wins in 2001 and the playoff runs of 2000 and 2001. But it’s time for the young kids to step in and take the reins. It’s time for a few (or more) shitty years of rebuilding and getting strong again. It’s time. It’s time.

Ok, Ok, I know it’s been a while since I posted, but I’ve had good reason why it’s taken me so long. Last weekend I drove up to Virginia to see my family and take my brother Clay to the Mariners-Orioles game, which was a damn fun trip. I jumped in my truck on Thursday afternoon and drove the un-godly drive up there. Quick little tip for those of you who are about to go on a long trip. Make sure you won’t be hitting a major city, like oh I don’t know let’s say Charlotte, at rush hour. Seeing my family was great though. It was fun wrestling with my siblings and

The drive to Baltimore was….ok, I won’t lie, it was one mistake after another. First off, Mapquest was a fucking joke. They had me getting onto interstates and roads that DIDN’T EVEN EXIST! Somewhere in West Virginia (a place where I found out might actually rivals South Carolina for number of hick towns) I decided to ditch the mapquest directions and make my own. I pulled out the map I had and started mapping out a path to try and take. We were already so far away from any major highway that I had to do it taking all back roads and while constantly flipping pages between Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland. 4 hours latter we got to the game just as it was starting and we were in our seats in time for the first pitch!

As for the Mariners game itself, well that was fun =) The Mariners ended up losing 3-1, but Clay and I had a fun time. There was only one thing wrong with Camden yards. They have a bug problem. And by bug problem, I am talking sever swarming bug problems. Somewhere around the 4th inning, a gigantic swarm of gnats appeared making it physically hard to breath without sucking some in. I’m not kidding folks. People were running out of their seats and Clay and I were just bursting with laughter since it seemed like something out of a cheesy horror flick. We went to the other side of the ballpark and viola, there were no bugs there! After enjoying our stadium hotdogs and cokes, we finished watching the game and headed on home (which only took me 2 hours thank you very much).

I got back here in Columbia on Monday morning after making a quick stop in my hometown Sunday night. Ok, side note here folks. Being the wise old man that I am, I feel it’s time to pass along some of my wisdom to some of you whippersnappers out there. There is a certain etiquette you must follow when driving on the highway. We all know these drives can be long and boring. Therefore, sometimes you become “friends” with fellow drivers. You know what I am talking about. Like when you follow Black Saab and Maroon Golf for 150 miles since they have a radar detector, helping you dodge the speed traps. Or when you follow BRN2FLY through a long stretch, helping you stay awake. Now once you have established that you are friends, you are required to say goodbye when you depart. A blink of the lights, a honk, or even just a simple wave will relieve you of your duty and let you sleep peacefully that night. However, I witnessed a break in this cardinal law on my drive back. Crossing the state line into North Carolina, I came upon an SUV from Florida who had some writing all over the windows. I got close enough to read it and saw that on the back it said “Don’t think everything is true just because Fox news says it is” and on the sides there were plenty of anti-Bush sayings. I loved it! So I drove up next to them and Tommy and I rolled our windows down, gave them the thumbs up, and honked. They acknowledged us with a flash of the lights and from there, we stuck together through the mountains. Every time one of us passed each other, we waved and this continued for another 100 miles. But then, I watched in my rear view mirror as they suddenly pulled off at a Rest Stop without so much as a goodbye honk. I felt betrayed. I felt hurt. I felt kinda angry. I thought about pulling off at the next exit and waiting for them to pass by so that I could register my anger with them. I thought about pulling over right then and there and then backing up on the shoulder so I could make sure they knew what they just did. I couldn’t believe they did that to me. And I thought they were cool people…

Well, Tuesday morning I woke up asking my roommates to kill me. I had a sinus infection, soar throat, and chest cold that wouldn’t let up. I stayed in bed all day and just tried to sleep it off to no avail. I’m finally feeling a little better now, but I still wish my head felt better. I have a constant headache that just won’t go away. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better soon. I knew I shouldn’t have shared drinks with my siblings since they had the same damn thing!

Sometime earlier this week I got named captain of my intramural softball team, despite making it clear that I didn’t want to be. I didn’t really care though, I now get to make the lineups every game and tell people where they can play. MWAHAHAHA. I’ve already told everybody that they can play wherever they want if they start sucking up to me now. I’ll be the first to admit that we won’t have the best team out there, I’m just hoping for a competitive team. However, after looking at the rules, I realized that we are playing pussy softball. You get 2 pitches to get a hit, otherwise you are out. No stealing, no sliding, to leading off, no touching home plate when you are scoring, the pitcher can’t field the ball, and it has to be underhand. *sigh* Why must we play with these shitty rules?! We are trying to think of a good team name too. Any suggestions? (And Nhan, we ARE NOT BEING CALLED DORLUM!)

I’m starting a petition to make kickball an intramural sport. I’m not quite sure how many signatures I need, but I’m heading up to the office Monday to get the form and try and get some money from the school. So if anybody reading this goes to USC, let me know so you can sign the petition and get kickball as a intramural sport!

Well, this is honestly long enough as it is. I still have more to talk about, but most of everything else I have to say is only pertinent to people who actually know me, so I’ll save all that for my next post. Be sure to leave me a comment below, because I can assure you I post more when more people leave comments!

I am damn sick. I feel like shit. Couple that with driving 1,400 miles over the weekend and you can see why all I did was sleep today. I’ll post next as soon as I start feeling better again, which will hopefully be within a day or two.

I did, however, want to say Happy Birthday Jess. I hope you enjoy it =)

Wow, if you haven’t already done so, you’ve got to check out this article. Unfortunately, I think Hollywood will see this as a great idea for a movie.

So this coming weekend, I am heading up to Baltimore to take my little brother to watch the Seattle Mariners beat the Baltimore Orioles. Yes my friends, I am damn excited. Not only do I get to hang out with my brother, I get to see my boys play for the first time in person in over 2 years. I’m long overdue for a game, so I didn’t feel bad spending the money on the tickets.

I’m now addicted to The Boxcar Racers. My brother turned me on to them when he was wondering if Blink-182 had changed their name or something, because they sounded so similar. Turns out two of the members from Blink formed a little side band in their spare time and the music rocks. I put one of their songs on my site (over there on the right). Anybody who likes Blink should check it out. The ending is probably the best.

I’ve had a few people ask me what the hell I was talking about in my profile lately, so I figured I’d just post the story for all to read. It all started (and ended for that matter) last Friday when a group of us went out bowling. We were all riding in and SUV type car, so we were able to cram a lot of people into it. However, there was still 1-too-many so I offered to lay in the very back. As it turned out, it was so damn comfortable back there that I fell asleep. When we were getting into the car to come back, some of the people who had ridden with us went home with other people, so I should have went up front and gotten into a seatbelt. However, due to the memorable experience I had on the drive over, I decided to lay in the back again.

So we’re cruising – no, make that speeding – down the highway when a cop decides we’d be a good target for his cocky attitude. As I am laying down looking out the window, I hear the siren come on and the window is filled with blue lights and I immediately think shit…he’s gonna see me back here and give me a ticket for not having a seatbelt, especially when I COULD have one on. Me good friend Lee was driving and we were just at our exit, so he figured he’d pull off and then stop, where it was a little safer. After getting off the ramp however, Lee decided he’d drive to the next road to pull over.

Now I’ve got to be honest, I can’t blame the cop for thinking we were trying to get away. When it’s 2 AM and a truck-load of college kids won’t pull over, you can’t help but think that they’ve got something to hide. However, I’m still in the back, glued to the floor and praying that he never sees me, so I’ve got no clue what’s going on out there. Yet I notice that the cop’s lights are no longer coming from behind us, but instead seem to be next to us. Lee finally finds a spot to pull over and he is greated by the cop shouting “SHOW ME YOUR HANDS. LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS,” which makes me think, “Oh GREAT, this is going to look fabulous when he makes us all show him our hands and he sees two hands come flying out of the back.” Luckily however, he doesn’t make us all show him our hands and he strolls up to the window and proceeds to lecture us on how he was about to spin us out since he thought we were trying to run away. Somewhere in the middle of Lee playing dumb, this comedic dialogue was struck.

Cop: “Son, didn’t that turn on the ramp seem extremelly fast?”

Lee: “Uh….it should have?”

Pure gold my friends. As my luck would have it, since he pulled up next to us, he never walked by the back of the truck and therefore, never saw me and we got off with a warning since nobody was drinking. However, on the way home, Fellner was talking about how he was thinking the cop was about to spin us out since he pulled up right next to us, which they only do before they are about to spin us out. Hearing that we were about to be spun out and that Fellner actually THOUGHT we were, I calmly stated:

Me: “Uh guys…the next time a cop is about to spin out the car, I can personally assure you that the guy in the very back who has no clue what is about to happen and who has no seatbelt on would HIGHLY APPRECIATE ANY WARNINGS THROWN HIS WAY ABOUT A POSSIBLE SPIN OUT!”

And so that is what I was talking about =) Until next time… Oh and remember, tip your pizza man.

This is a song that was requested by one of my viewers. Just right click and save as. Enjoy =)

*Note, link has since been removed*
Rob D – I’m Not Driving Anymore (Instrumental)

I’ll have another “real” post up tomorrow. Take it easy everybody!