Shyzer.com

[edit]The song that loads up is only temporary. But for now…I need it.[/edit]

Good news or bad news first? Come on, which do you want first? Well naturally I would go with bad and then good, so I just guess I’ve answered my own question for ya.

Jess and I decided to end our relationship for a temporary indefinite amount of time. Things between us just weren’t working and for many different reasons (many of which we ourselves don’t even understand) and time apart seems like the only viable solution. She needs her space to figure a few things out and I only want to help, no matter how bad it hurts. We both love each other like nothing else and I can’t speak for her, but I know this summer will be rough. So please forgive me if I act a little strange. This is new territory for me. I can’t believe that we will be going through this without each other. It just seems so foreign to me. We won’t be speaking or seeing each other, because we both agreed that it kills us inside talking or seeing each other and not being together. There was no reason to put ourselves through that type of pain. I personally swear Jess has read “The Fountainhead” and just doesn’t remember it =)

And now for the last piece of bad news. The Mariners season has been sealed. So don’t be surprised if I stop talking about them. There is always next year =)

You know what amazes me? It’s how comfortable I feel putting myself out here on the net. I am one of the most private person you will ever meet. And yet, for some reason, I have no worries about talking about my private life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’m not actually talking to you, the reader. I am simply talking aloud to myself and typing it at the same time. I love having conversations with myself. I will debate things over and over in my head, run through scenarios, etc. But when you place a person in front of me, I clam up and want to share nothing with them. But as I type this, I feel free and don’t hold back. And I like it.

And NOW for the happy news. Tonight, my dad took me and Clay, my 11-year old brother, out for a sushi dinner. I hadn’t had sushi in over a year and Clay…well Clay is the type of kid that doesn’t really like anything that doesn’t have “pizza” or “cookie” in the title. So we sit down at the bar, order our food, and as soon as it gets there, Clay grabs a piece and starts eating. And the boy never looked back. You have no clue how proud I was of him. He looked at it and said it looked nasty as hell (ok, maybe he didn’t say hell, but you get the idea), but then he said he’d try it and he loved it. I was HIGHLY impressed by him.

I went out tonight to watch a few movies with some friends. It wasn’t much, but I needed to get out of this house and get some fresh air. Thanks Nhan. I want to go a little more in depth about my last post, because I feel like ranting a little more about what I’ve realized and what I mean about people who bring me bad luck versus people I see as truly evil. But, I think this post is long enough. And anybody who reads my site, please send me an IM over at Shyzerdotcom or leave me a comment and just let me know you read it. I like hearing from my visitors. One of the few simple pleasures in my life. =)