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I just wrote this amazingly long post and then realized that in no way, shape, or form did I want to post it. Talk about some bad time management. There goes 60 minutes down the drain.

I need to get out of here. There are just too many things wrong. It’s so funny. I wish like nothing else that August was already here so that I would be able to concentrate on school. Yes, that’s how bad it’s gotten. There are so many things that I hate about this town and this house and the people here. And yet, I’ve found happiness lately in the strangest of company. And sorrow in the oldest of enemies.

Being depressed sucks. I can tell this summer is going to be one of the worst summers I’ve had. And now that I know and realize that, I won’t allow it to be any other way. I’m so angry and I don’t even know who at. It’s funny, I love playing the devil’s advocate, but there are many times that I just want to drop the advocate part and fight myself. Remember that internal battle I talked about a few posts ago? I think we’ve hit May of 1940 and it’s not looking too good. I remember what I used to feel like. Unpacking all my old things and going through them made me realize what I am today. And truth be told, I can’t stand either one of them. They both are nothing like what I want them to be.

I’ve said “it’s funny” literally 38 times in everything I’ve been trying to write tonight, including a few that I left in. And the actually funny thing? It’s nowhere close to being funny. At least not now…not until 10 years down the road when this seems so trivial. And now that I look back upon what I’ve wrote, it doesn’t do justice to what I feel like.

That’s kinda funny.