Shyzer.com

I found this article early this morning and it reminded me of a time a year or so ago when my 10-year old brother smuggled one of those off the airplane and found out just how cool these things were. I should point out that we realized after the fact that on the label, it said “federal crime to remove” That just made it even more cool =)

Ok, picture if you will one of those Fisher-Price neon colored slides. The “big” ones that stand like 7 feet tall and have a few tunnels and mini slides built on. Now picture me, a 6′ 4” 19-year old climbing up on it sporting an uninflated airline life preserver. Now climbs aboard my 13-year old 6′ 3” brother (no that’s not a typo. The kid is huge. Out weighs me. Out muscles me. Will be able to kick my ass in a year. And he isn’t even in highschool) and imagine him climbing aboard the thing. Then throw in my little brother who is 10 and the picture is already pretty amusing.

Now comes the fun parts. We start pretending we are in an airplane, a fighter airplane to make it even cooler. And we’re flying and making “hnhnhnhnh” machine gun noises and shooting down the bad guys. I’ve personally hit 6 myself! But uh-oh, we’ve been hit!! I scream out that the engines are out and my brothers frantically start pressing the buttons and pulling those oh-so-important levers that are everywhere, but the engines won’t start. We’ve got to bail! So we jump on the top of the slide, and jump into the icy depths of the ocean…I mean our pool.

The minute I go under, I grab my emergency life cord and tug on it, and the magic CO2 springs into action, filling my life vest with air and rushing me to the surface. My brothers grab on and we float for days upon days until the search boats find us…I mean, my mom threw us a raft after we moaned and complained that she wasn’t playing with us.

And there even was a blinking light on the back of the vest so she knew where to throw the raft!

These things really work folks. Without ours, we would have sunk the the icy depths of our three-foot shallow end and been shark food….or pissed on by our baby brother *shudders*