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Well the State of the Union Address is tonight and I for one could not be happier. I used to hate this thing though when I was a kid. It seemed like every channel covered it (this was before we got Nickelodeon and the 500 HBO channels) and I hated watching some old guy talk.

And up until last year, I still hated this thing. All they talked about was political double speak and while there were important issues to be discussed, they never really talked about those. But now…man, I just can’t wait. So you may be asking yourself “Gee Goob, why are you so excited? It’s just President Bush making a speech. Are you hoping he will talk about the upcoming personal war he has decided to wage with Iraq? Are you excited about the fact that he might address the economy? Or maybe he will talk about…”

Iraq? Economy? What the hell are you talking about? I’m going to be watching just for one thing. Preisdent Bush making a speech. That my friend is unintentional comedy at its greatest. Where else can you hear such things as “If you don’t stand for anything, you don’t stand for anything!” and “I think we agree the past is over.”

And come on, I know you all remember “There is an old saying in Tennessee. I know it’s in Texas, it’s probably in Tennessee. It says fool me once, shame on…..shame on you. Ya fool me, we can’t get fooled again!” I’m not making that one up folks. I have the video clip to prove it. So damn hilarious. It doesn’t get much better then that. Vegas should get in on this and let people wager how many words he will screw up. I’m putting $20 on 9.

And it’s not just Bush! It’s his surrounding characters too! Take for instance White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer. When asked about the recent reports that no “smoking gun” had been found in Iraq, he responded with “The problem with a hidden gun is that you can’t see the smoke.” Ahhhh. Thanks for clearing that one up for us Ari.