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Rest in peace Tan. You will be missed.

Sometimes I’m never really sure when Ronak is kidding or not. Anybody who understands the relationship we have knows that we like to screw around with each other whenever we get the chance. We’ve never had to break any serious news to one another before, besides the obligatory relationship breakup or our families moving, so I can’t really blame myself for thinking that he was joking these past few days. Besides, I used to IM him all the time if it had been more than a few days since I had talked to him and joke around that I was going to call the police since he was obviously missing and that I would personally head up the search and rescue team to go find him.

So when he IMed me telling me that he thought Tan was missing and that something might have happened to him, you can understand how I could think he was just joking. Besides, it had been at least a few weeks since I talked to either one of them last. This would be the perfect icebreaker to make us both start laughing again and catch up on the holidays. But even as I sit here telling myself this, I know even I don’t believe it. I didn’t laugh when he IMed me that. I didn’t believe him either, but it just felt erie. It had an aura to it, as if he might be telling the truth.

When I awoke this morning to an IM from Jess asking for me to call her, I knew something was wrong. The message seemed too automatic, too emotionless, as if it had come from somebody who just a little too stunned to be happy and perky. Her away message didn’t help calm my fears either and when I saw Ronak’s message that Tan had been found, I knew it was no longer a joke. The voice messages on my phone confirmed my worst fears and I was left scrambling to play catch up, to find out what the hell had happened, how it had happened, when it had happened.

But I don’t think I’ll ever understand why it happened. My friends aren’t supposed to be dieing this early.

I sit here and look at that rambling I made yesterday about football and Christmas presents and feel ashamed to have been thinking about all this while Ronak was seriously worrying about a friend of ours. I feel ashamed to have been spending time with my family while Tan was dieing in a ditch just yards away from the road for days. I feel ashamed that I managed to make it through this day babysitting my siblings while my mom went to work and knowing that I might not make it back to town in time to be with my friends and go to the funeral. I love my family, but right now I want to be with my friends and I can’t.

Tan was your “stereotypical Asian-American” if you will. I hate saying that, but he really was. He was one of those strong silent types that really didn’t talk unless he had something to say and was always so quiet, you’d forget he was in the room. But he was there, listening and thinking and waiting for the right time to speak. And while most people thought he was lazy – okay, he was lazy, but that’s what made him fit in with the group we hung out with – he was still smart as hell. Sorry Ronak, but I always trusted him just a little more when it came to opening up electronics and taking them apart or taking apart my car to fix it =) If there was something that he wanted to know how to do, he’d sit down, study the hell out of it, and have it mastered while the rest of us were still getting past the introduction in the manual. And while most people might find it juvinile for me to say, I have to say it because it is so truthful – Tan was the one and only person whom I always shyed away from in any head-to-head video game match, for I knew that he could utterly and totally decimate me in anything.

I can’t even remember the last time I saw him or the last time I talked to him. I’ll never have that chance to rematch him in Bond or talk to SuperCar on AIM again. I’ll never play another football or kickball game with him again or be able to ask him for his advice on how to fix my car. I’ll never be able to play him again in Stratego or team up with him to make fun of Ronak and Eric.

I’ve sat here and read over and over the caption I have under Ronak and Tan’s names over on my supporting cast page and it just numbs me more and more every time I read it. I can’t bring myself to go change it and I think the day I finally do will be the day I finally surrender to my emotions and let them have their way with me. But until then, I’ll just keep reading “I don’t see these two nearly enough since they both live back home, but it’s always nice to know that when I go back home, I can see them.” over and over and dream about how much I wish it was all still true.

[EDIT] OH MY GOD. HOW IN THE HELL DID THEY MAKE THAT LAST PLAY?! I LOVE YOU ARIZONA! I LOVE YOU! AHHHHHHHHH! I TOLD YOU WE’D WIN IT! I TOLD YOU IN SPRING TRAINING WE’D WIN IT!!! AHHHHHHH =) WE ARE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS AND WE GET TO PLAY AT HOME NEXT WEEKEND! I LOVE FOOTBALL!!!![/EDIT]

Personally I think it is total bullshit that the Seahawks will win the tiebreaker over the Packers despite the fact that the Seahawks were ass raped by not only the Packers, but the Vikings as well, but what do I know? Leave that strength of schedule shit to the football that doesn’t really matter – college. I shouldn’t complain though, we lost 3 games this year (Arizona, Detroit, Kansas City) that we had no right losing, so I need to just shut up and quit bitching.

I know it’s been a while since I posted, but there have been a few reasons. 1) I’m back home, so I refuse to spend my time on the computer when I could be hanging out with my siblings. 2) This keyboard blows. Had I known it sucked this badly before I came up here, I would have gotten my brother a new keyboard for Christmas. Apparently somebody spilled some cola down in it or something, which means the spacebar doesn’t work unless you hit it in the right spot and the shift key has to be held down in order to NOT make the letters capitalized. You have no idea how long it has taken meto type this.

Christmas was fun. I pretty much stayed up the entire night before since I can never sleep on Christmas Eve. By morning, I was a little delirious from being awake for so many hours, but I managed to stay awake from the help of massive amounts of chocolate that Santa had left for my siblings. My big presents were a new TV and cell phone, so now not only can I play the video games that I have, I can also actually call people since I have a cell phone that works. Everything else I got were things that I had asked for, like clothes, movies, and books. It’s funny now. As a kid, I hated getting clothes. Clothes weren’t even a gift in my head. If you gave me clothes, I would think that you didn’t love me and hate you forever…or until the next year when you had a chance to redeem yourself by giving me a REAL present. Hell, I would have prefered just a box of chocolates over an entire new wardrob when I was little.

But now, Jesus, I can’t get enough of clothes. The only – and I mean ONLY – time I get new clothes is around Christmas time. I never buy new clothes because I always feel that it is retarded to spend so much money of a pair of jeans or a freaking T-Shirt. At least 85% of the current items in my closet are over 6 years old. Most of my T-Shirts are pretty torn up and faded. My jeans are nice and worn in, but along with that comes the holes along the seams and on the corner of the pockets. I’d be surprised if any of my boxers still had any elastic still in them. And my socks…dear God. I used to joke around that I liked having holes in my socks so that my toes could stick out and be free. Now I have to wear at least two pairs of socks on each feet just to get a pair of socks that will cover all of my feet. The only clothing items that I have that are in good condition are my shoes and that’s because I have a friend who works at ADIDAS and can get my brand new pairs of shoes for $20. I mean, you can’t beat that. So when I open up presents on Christmas and see clothes, I start to cry.

I think I’ll be staying up here until around the 2nd or 3rd. After that, I don’t know what I am doing, but I’m sure it will involve being lazy. I can’t find the disk that I brought up here with a few posts that I had been working on, so that is why this post sucked so badly. I’m still in a bad mood from the Packers not making the playoffs. Son of a mother fucking bitch.

Merry Christmas Folks =)

I’ll be back by tomorrow. Actually, I’ll try and post tonight. In the mean time, enjoy your holiday!

We here at Shyzer like to think of ourselves as public servants. We like to pass along whatever little bits of information that we amass over the years and after working at the United Parcel Service for a few weeks, I feel that there are some little tips that I should pass along to the general public, for I think that everybody and anybody who ships a package would hope for it to arrive safely and on time. Therefore, if you want your package to have the highest chance of survival, please take my advice.

• Never, never, NEVER put fragile on your box. For the love of God, that is the equivilant of stamping a large neon sign to yoru package saying “Dear package unloader. I care a lot about this package and I’m sure you don’t give a shit about it and I know that you supposedly treat all the packages carefully, but I don’t trust you, so I am asking you in a patronizing way not to damage my package like I know you will.” Well you know what? You are damn right. We probably would have never noticed your package and it would have been lightly tossed onto the belt like every other package. But now that you have disturbed us with your ugly warning sticker, we are going to damage your package since you obviously don’t think we are competent enough to handle your measly package of ugly china and dishware that you are sending to a distant relative that doesn’t even like you. So you know what? You better well hope that your package wasn’t put in a crate that we are unloading, because you can be damn sure that it will be hitting that conveyor belt much harder then the package right next to it. You have something fragile in there? Try putting some bubble wrap around it you lazy ass. Handle with care…what a joke…
• Now, tell me if I am completely off base here, but I’m guessing that the reason you are sending your package is because you want the contents that are inside of it to arrive at the final destination, right? I mean, you aren’t just stuffing old pizza crust and newspaper clippings into boxes and sending them just so that the box can arrive, right? So do us all a favor and stop fucking skimping on the tape when you seal your box up. I mean, you’ve already paid $20 bucks to ship the damn box overnight and you’ve taken the time to pull out your address box and fill out the label properly (with some horrible fucking handwritting I might add), so why would you try and save that extra strip of tape that would cost you around 0.05 cents? Look, if I pick up your package and it busts open and papers go flying everywhere, you can bet your first child that I’m going to be throwing some of those papers in the trash. Mr. John Hampton is possibly going to be having a mistrial sometime next month because his attorney won’t be getting some of the court documents tomorrow like he had planned. And if you managed to stuff a few pounds of that damn peanut puffs that are used for packaging and they go flying all over my crate when your shitty package bursts open. Ohhhhhh, trust me, you better just hope you didn’t have FRAGILE maked on the box….
• And last, but certainly not least, is a tip for you shippers over at QVC. The next time you decide to vacuum seal an entire bed set into the size of a grapefruit and fail to label the weight as 100 pounds, you will die. Seriosuly, you aren’t fooling anybody at UPS except for us unloaders. The scanners are also weight machines and you will be billed for more money since you tried to stuff 100 pounds into a box that should contain nothing over 10. The only people you are tricking is Ronald and I, because we are the ones who are tossing all the boxes onto the belt and your boxes are the ones that are hidden among all the light ones. As we are getting into our rhythm and cleaning out the crate, we stumble across one of your boxes and come within inches of breaking our fucking backs. So I warn you, QVC, the next time you try and pull this on us, we might snap, and you might not be too happy with the end results.

And so there you have it. Follow those tips and I can almost guarantee that it will get past us unloaders on the crate side of the factory. I’ve got a few more that you might want to follow, but I’ll save those for another post. In the meantime, enjoy this appropriate Simpsons’ quote.

Homer: My job is my identity! If I’m not a safety whachamajammer, I’m nothing!

This one goes out to Doctors Larry Pedegana and Mitch Storey, who together just saved not only the Mariners from utter distruction, but my own spirits as well. You have no clue how happy I am right now that we didn’t make a trade. We still have so much to upgrade, but we were saved from somehow shooting ourselves in the foot tonight.

Buy these two guys a beer. Now. Put it on my tab.

I can’t take this anymore. I’m trying hard to just focus on these guys, but it’s not working when shit like this and this keeps happening. How in holy hell do we go from being inches from signing Tejada, a former MVP and a player who could single-handedly spark this team in August like he did to Oakland, to trading our only player off the bench who can hit lefties, overpaying for Scott Spiezio, and trade our shortstop for a player who is making $6 million when we could have had a player just like him for $1?? All the Mariners have managed to do this off-season is barely stay the same in offense (which was our huge hole the last few seasons) and SIGNIFICANTLY downgrade in defense, our biggest strength!! How does this make any sense?! Jesus Christ, what the hell is going on in Seattle?

I really can’t even see straight right now. My stomach is seriously churning and all I can think about is how little sense this truly makes. We saved no money in either of these deals. We signed Speizio to play a position that Bloomquist and/or Leone could have filled in for far less money and while they may be young and inexperienced, the Mariners seem to have a problem with letting their young players finally get a shot at playing. They’d rather go out and find a “class-act” guy and overpay for his sub-par performance.

U.S.S. Mariner did a great job summing up these two trades here and here.

Just humor me and go read what they had to say. It’s not pretty. I seriously don’t know how I stick by this team each year when management clearly doesn’t give a shit. There are some teams out there that suck every year because they don’t have any money, and that is understandable. After 6 or 7 years though, these teams are usually competing because their farm system has finally started producing. Then you’ve got the teams that suck just because the players they signed didn’t work out. That too is acceptable because, hey, they tried. And then you’ve got the teams that have the resources, have the ability to go out and get what they need, and are hindered due to stupidity. This is not acceptable because being the non-stupid person that I am and being able to realize a bad baseball player when I see one, I would hope that the upper management of a professional baseball team would also be able to evaluate players correctly. But the Mariners seem intent of being a 2nd rate team and until we get some new blood in there who actually wants to win, a la the Theo Epstein type, we are going to be home every October.

I hate baseball sometimes.

I’m 5 seconds away from going to bed and I turn off my PS2 and CNN pops on the TV, where I found this. Needless to say, it has now kept me up for a little while longer.

All I have to say is that this whole thing has only confirmed what I have been saying all along. Reuters kicks the living shit out of Fox News, MSNBC, and even CNN. They make the three main news groups we have look like a freaking joke. Reuters is sitting here talking about how the DNA tests have come back positive and Prime Minister Blair has confirmed it was Saddam and 20 minutes later all three networks (I’m sitting here flipping through all 3) come in with their breaking news that Blair has confirmed it was Saddam. Well no shit. Y’all need to start refreshing Reuters’ website every few seconds. You’d get your stories faster. Good lord.

I’ll tell ya though, two days after smiling from reading that President Bush’s advisers are now focusing on Dean as the likely opponent next year, Saddam’s capture can only hurt his bid for Presidency, especially since one of his main points was that we hadn’t caught Saddam. If he leads us to any weapons of mass destruction, I’m gonna have to go over there and personally kick his ass for all but giving Bush 4 more years.

Well so far for the vow I made 3 hours ago to stay off the computer =) Okay okay, I’m going to bed, so my vow starts……now.

God speed Cammy. I’ll miss watching you roam center field out in the Safe. I’ll stop taking for granted those breath-taking catches that became an everyday thing from you. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and in my little head, I like to think that part of the reason you signed with the Mets was for us Mariners fans who loved you. Besides, how could we continue to do so if you went and signed with Oakland? =)

Good luck Cameron.

I’ll be back Monday. Besides this post tonight, I’m not touching this computer for 2 days. I’m just staying in my boxers wrapped up in a blanket and watching the 2nd season of 24. There is nothing better then that feeling when classes are finally over and done with!

Apparently Fellner doesn’t appreciate the severity of the situation. He will by sundown today though =) Living with him for 2 years has given me access to priceless information about his fears and Operation Sandlapper plans to fully exploit them. While we are only on Phase 2 (which is going to be hilarious for me), Phase 3 does call for me doing something that some will find utterly disgusting and others will find utterly hilarious.

There is now only one way for Fellner to end this war. He must not only sign a declaration of unconditional surrender, but he also must recite it into my microphone so that I can post a recording of him reading it on my site. Until these terms are fully met, the war will wage on…..

And I will be victorious.

Goob: Good evening, America. I’d like to address my remarks tonight to Mr. Fellner. Buddy, you screwed up big time. Guess what amigo. I’m comin’ to get you. And I’m not alone either, The OCPT is right behind me. You see, you made a big mistake. If you had any brains you would have challenged me to a game of “Name that politician”. Or…or maybe a beard-off. You mighta won that because when I have a beard, it comes in patchy. But no, you messed up. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to see the look on your face when you went to the Apartment Refridgerator to get some coke! I’ll bet it was empty. That’s right, I stole your cokes. You probably looked like a tool, too, just standing there with no coke. Make no mistake, we’re coming for you, Fellner. I’m gonna make you my own personal “CJ” from the episode where Charlie makes her his bitch. And unlike those frustrating West Wing episodes that end without any real conclusion, I’m gonna kick your ass. Maybe not today, maybe not tommorrow, but maybe tomorrow. There might be special operatives outside your room right now, who knows? Just remember, I’ll see you real soon. Because you violated rule numero uno: you messed with with the baseball glove. That’s right, don’t mess with the baseball glove. I just want to say thank you, and prepare for war, because it’s gonna get ugly!

I came home from work to find this note under my door. The OCPT left clear instructions not to retaliate against me, for it would only lead to something far worse. I quickly contacted him (or her!) tonight and was pleased to see that they also thought we should join forces against you. But don’t worry, I will live by your demands. You just won’t like the end results.

You don’t actually think I just sit around in class all day doing nothing, do you? This is what I live for. I spent the last month and a half coming up with what I call Operation Sandlapper during Geology class and it’s being given the green light. You have no idea what is in store for you. By the time you’ve read this, you will have already experienced the first wave…Surrender now while you still can.

Just keep in mind this quote from West Wing:
CJ: “So how long do you usually make people your bitch?”
Charlie: “Depends.”