Shyzer.com

I’m seriously missing my site and “updating” it and whatnot. I’m about halfway through with all the last minute school shit that hasbeen thrown on me, so this will be the only post I can make until next Tuesay afternoon. After that, I’ll be like a freaking coke addict who just stumbled onto….um….well like, a lot of coke. Wow, that analogy just totally fell apart back there. Now it looks like I do coke….ok, let’s just forget the past few sentences. ANYWAYS, like I was trying to say, I’m gonna have a shit load of free time for basically the next three months after the rest of this week, so I’ll be able to actually make all the links on my site work, post more, etc…I can’t wait!

School sucks. Jessica rocks. ENGL and GINT classes suck even more. Jessica is that much more awesome. And nobody should have to compare a short story and poem and write a 5 page paper in the span of two hours.

If you can’t tell, I’m bogged down with homework at the moment, so I won’t be able to update until around the 26th. Come back then =)

When I was growing up, posses chased bandits, luxury boxes were a new brand of Legos and JumboTron was one of Rerun’s friends on “What’s Happening!!” You could buy 20 packs of baseball cards for a buck and NBA games cost less than the first and last months’ rent. NFL players didn’t impersonate Tony Manero after they scored, NHL players meant it when they dropped the gloves. Everyone happily signed autographs and groupies had only just begun perfecting their mating techniques.

Enough. I’ve read that column a million times. “Mature” columnist waxes poetic about the halcyon days of sports and the more recent loss of innocence. Sorry, it’s a bunch of Alexei Zhitnik.

Just for the hell of it, let’s pull a Marty McFly and travel back to 1977. E, S, P and N are just four letters that don’t sound right together. The Internet barely exists. There’s no all-sports radio, DirecTV, video games or USA Today. Fantasy sports haven’t been invented. Read those last four sentences again. Yikes. No NFL Sunday Ticket, 20/20 flash or “SportsCenter.” No TNT, ESPN2 or USA Network. No Madden 2003, webcasts, “Baseball Tonight,” pay-per-view, ESPN.com or chat rooms. No televised NFL or NBA drafts or — it hurts to even type these words — fantasy drafts. I just got the chills. Seriously — hold me.

So you’re stuck with local newspapers and sportscasters covering the local teams. Which is fine … until you move. Now you’re riveted to Mel Allen’s “This Week in Baseball,” hoping for a feature on your team. You pray ABC books your boys on “Monday Night Football.” You scour national magazines, relishing even the most meaningless nuggets about your team. Eventually, you’re forced over to the Dark Side — the Cowboys, Steelers, Dodgers, Lakers, Knicks, Yankees — just because they’re always on TV. You’ve given up. You’ve sold your soul.

Tickets are dirt cheap, sure, but who wants to go to the games? Unless you have a connection, you’re behind a Boston Garden pillar or 10,000 feet away in the Yankee Stadium bleachers, or your butt is frozen to metal seats at Schaefer Stadium. You announce your allegiance with crude replica jerseys and painter’s caps. Did I mention there’s nothing but organ music entertaining you between innings? Imagine the NBA before dunking became cool, the NFL without wholesale substitutions, the MLB fueled by doubles, steals and sacrifices. You have to trek to your local arena to catch the big fight on a crummy screen.

In fact, every telecast vaguely resembles one of Bob Crane’s home movies. Choppy replays make your head pound. Graphics swallow half the screen. You never know the score — stats are “gratuitous” — you can’t see the puck and you don’t know where the first down was. Camera angles look like somebody’s dad is filming a high school game.

But the players are more likable, right? Please. Reggie Jackson and Rick Barry are Barry Bonds or Allen Iverson first. NBA players throw sucker punches and major-leaguers fight the urge to snort the baseline. Baseball fans have no more patience with skyrocketing salaries than they do today. NHL players re-enact WWF events and climb into the stands to reprimand unruly fans. NFL players pop more pills than Liza. They all smoke cigarettes, toss back beers, shun conditioning. Teams can’t afford charter planes, so exhausted players drag during road games.

You can’t convince me that things aren’t better now. I’ll take TO’s Sharpie collection, juiced balls and Bonds’ ever-expanding melon. Sign me up for $54.95 pay-per-view bouts, $179 all-access TV packages and $100 NBA seats. Let me deal with the idiots who dance on JumboTrons, announcers’ annoying catch phrases, 350 brands of baseball cards, NBA players who can stage full-court games with their own children on Family Day, even sideline reporters asking, “Coach, how much would it mean to win this game?”

Just don’t send me back to 1977. I’m begging you. (Still not convinced? I have five words: NBA players in tight shorts. Defense rests.)

And the time has gone where?

What the hell is going on. Somebody needs to head out to Area 51. Call your local senators and councel members. Hold a seance with a voodoo witchdoctor. We need to find out what in hell is stealing all this time away from us. It seems like last week that I was enduring my self proclaimed “Hell Week” and now that I look at it, that was a fucking month ago! We are now 1 month away from the end of this semester….1 god damn month. Before we know it, we will be “technically” half-way done with college. half way done!

Something is wrong here. Has anybody realized that in 3 months, I will no longer be a teenager? It’s not that I am freaking out about getting older, but it’s the speed at which it is happening. High school went so…….damn………slow……….and now I hit college and life seems to go faster than Carl Lewis on crack. I’m enjoying life like nothing else, but at the same time, I want it to last just a little longer.

In other news, I went home this past weekend to shave my head again. I got to spend plenty of time with the family, which was nice, in its own way. I got to see my mom for the first time in, what, two months? Something like that. My car is still sitting in the backyard, unrepaired, and it is looking more and more likely that I will be used car shopping over Christmas Break. That totally blows for my “money to spend on food and basic necessities” fund, but oh well, I’ll figure something out =)

I wish I had more time to update this site this week, but if I want to ace my classes this semester, Shyzer is gonna have to wait a few weeks. I should be able to get about 1 side link up a week until around the 2nd week of December, where I will then have the whole entire site running within 5 days. Mark my words. By mid-December, I’ll have everything up and running

The name of this feudal system is democracy…

Well, last Tuesday, Americans went to the polls to decide on who would get to control Castle Congress. On one hand, there was the Republicans, who wish for a nation of wealthy, heavily armed white men, befouling the air and water in a ceaseless quest for profits, beheld in no laws but those in our lord and savior Jesus Christ. On the other was the Democrats, who desire a nambi, pambi, quasi socialist republic with an all homosexual army, flambouantly defending it’s citizens who suck at the breast of government welfare.

But as we all know, the Republicans won control of Congress. And as somebody who believes a steady flow of rage is healthy, I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER!

Yet, many Americans got to vote on local referendums. And who doesn’t love a good referendum? Like take for instance Oaklahoma, who got to vote on whether or not to outlaw cockfighting. That’s right COCKFIGHTING And this was Tuesday of THIS YEAR!….2002!………..

But at least they set the stage for next year’s elections, where they will vote to outlaw indentured servitude, molasses smuggling, and the stockades………

School…..um….sucks….

Well, upon getting back home and going to two days of classes, I have begun to realize how much shit my teachers are starting to pile up on us since the semester is coming to an end. I also have begun to realize that I am slowly slipping behind in all my classes, so the past few days have been full of me….um….well being lazy as shit. Heh heh heh. But this weekend / upcoming week I’ll be working on most of my schoolwork, which sucks.

I just realized that my harddrive is too small. I only have 20GB and once I start recording movies and Simpsons episodes, that fills up pretty quickly. Oh well. After another year or so I should be able to upgrade it to something bigger and the next time I build my computer, I’ll be sure to get a much bigger drive.

So, does anybody know of a good job that I can do from my computer? I really want to work from my computer, like tech support or something. I have applied to a few places and hopefully I might get something. Even a job close by where I am working on computers would be nice. After years of working with the public and then a summer of working in a factory, I want to just be able to type away on a computer and make my money. If I can’t find something like that, I will probably work as a waiter over the upcoming summer. Or maybe something in sales. I used to work at a used video game store before management switched and I kicked some ass in selling shit. My commissions check was double my basic payroll check every week. Damn that job kicked ass!

Good ol’ Charleston

FINALLY! I’ve been trying to post for like the last 48 hours but I couldn’t remember my password for the life of me. I’ll explain that later on. The past 4 days have had “Kick ass” written all over them and 99% of that is because of Jessica. She drove up to Columbia last Friday afternoon so we could spend some time together since we only get to see each other every other week at best. We basically just hung out and did a whole lot of nothing, which was perfect =) By Saturday night though she had to get back to school since she had so much work to do. Just as she was leaving we had a conversation that follows:

Jessica: “It would be awesome if you could come back to Charleston with me for a few days!”
Me: “Yeah, I know, but I have classes and stuff…”
Jessica: “But you have Tuesday off and Monday you only have your crap classes where they don’t take roll and you have A’s. But I know you have other things to do…like?”
Me: “Um….now that you put it that way….I have….not a fucking thing to do….”
Jess: “…”
Me: “You are a genious!”

So, I packed a bag and we came on down to Charleston! I basically just played with her puppy / slept all day while she went to classes and meetings and then at night we got to spend some time together. We made actual dinners the past few nights, which is such a step up from my normal Chef Boyarde every night. And sleeping beside her every night in that bed, which is easily the most comfortable thing I have ever laid in. That’s what I enjoyed most though. Being able to sleep next to her! The land around here is really flat too, so my running kicked some serious ass. I pulled off a 6 mile run in about 48 minutes, which is running a flat 8 minute mile pace. Now when I was in my top shape, I was running a mile in 5:30, but you have to consider that I’ve only been running for a month AND that was an 8 minute mile pace for over the entire 6 miles. Back a few years ago, I was running 3 miles in just over 20 minutes, giving me a little over a 7 minute mile pace. And now I’m already running as fast as that on flat surface. Needless to say, I was pretty fucking psyched when I figured that all out.

But just being able to spend my days around Jessica is amazing. It just feels right being with her and spending time with her. I’ll be living down here with her for a few weeks over X-mas break and then again for a few months in the summer, which I honestly can’t look any more forward too! And she is working on a site of her own, which I will host for her, so be looking for that in the upcoming weeks =)

I know I said I was going to have all those links set up by this weekend, but everything I said it going to be pushed back a week. I wasn’t planning on coming down here or having my English work sneaking up on me as it did, but honestly, you all can wait! I’m heading back to Columbia tomorrow night and I’ve got some school work to take care of until Thursday, so mostly all the site updating will begin Thursday night.